Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer Siman 13

Siman 13

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א כָּל אִשָּׁה שֶׁנִּתְגָּרְשָׁה אוֹ שֶׁנִּתְאַלְמְנָה, הֲרֵי זוֹ לֹא תִּנָּשֵׂא וְלֹא תִתְאָרֵס לְאַחֵר, עַד שֶׁתַּמְתִּין תִּשְׁעִים יוֹם חוּץ מִיּוֹם שֶׁנִּתְגָּרְשָׁה אוֹ שֶׁמֵּת בַּעְלָהּ בּוֹ וְחוּץ מִיּוֹם שֶׁנִּתְאָרְסָה בּוֹ, כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּוָּדַע אִם הִיא מְעֻבֶּרֶת אוֹ אֵינָהּ מְעֻבֶּרֶת, לְהַבְחִין בֵּין זַרְעוֹ שֶׁל רִאשׁוֹן לְזַרְעוֹ שֶׁל אַחֲרוֹן. אֲבָל מֻתֶּרֶת לַעֲשׂוֹת שִׁדּוּכִים בְּלֹא אֵרוּסִין (ב"י בְּשֵׁם תְּשׁוּבַת הָרֹא"שׁ וּת"ה סִימָן רי"ז), רַק שֶׁלֹּא יִכְנֹס עִמָּהּ בְּבַיִת (שָׁם). וּמִיּוֹם כְּתִיבַת הַגֵּט מוֹנִים לַמְגֹרֶשֶׁת, וַאֲפִלּוּ הָיָה עַל תְּנַאי אוֹ שֶׁלֹּא הִגִּיעַ לְיָדָהּ אֶלָּא לְאַחַר כַּמָּה שָׁנִים, מִיּוֹם הַכְּתִיבָה מוֹנִים, שֶׁהֲרֵי אֵינוֹ מִתְיַחֵד עִמָּהּ מִשֶּׁכָּתְבוֹ לָהּ. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּמוֹנִים מִיּוֹם נְתִינַת הַגֵּט (טוּר בְּשֵׁם הָרֹא"שׁ) וְכֵן רָאוּי לְהַחֲמִיר, כֵּן נִרְאֶה לִי. וּגְזֵרַת חֲכָמִים הִיא שֶׁאֲפִלּוּ הָאִשָּׁה שֶׁאֵינָהּ רְאוּיָה לֵילֵד, וַאֲפִלּוּ נִתְגָּרְשָׁה אוֹ נִתְאַלְמְנָה מִן הָאֵרוּסִין, צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין צ' יוֹם. אֲפִלּוּ קְטַנָּה אוֹ זְקֵנָה אוֹ עֲקָרָה אוֹ אַיְלוֹנִית, וַאֲפִלּוּ בַּעְלָהּ בִּמְדִינַת הַיָּם אוֹ סְרִיס אָדָם אוֹ חוֹלֶה אוֹ חָבוּשׁ בְּבֵית הָאֲסוּרִים, וְהַמַּפֶּלֶת אַחַר מִיתַת בַּעְלָהּ, וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּתוּלָה מֵהָאֵרוּסִין, צְרִיכוֹת לְהַמְתִּין תִּשְׁעִים יוֹם:

1 Any woman who is divorced or widowed may not get married or engaged to another until she waits 90 days, excluding the day she was divorced or on which her husband died and the day on which she becomes engaged, so that it be known if she is pregnant or not pregnant, to distinguish between the seed of the former and the seed of the latter. Rema: But she is permitted to make a commitment for marriage without formal engagement (Beit Yosef in the name of a responsum of the Rosh and Terumat haDeshen 217) as long as he doesn't enter into a house with her. From the day of the writing of the divorce document one counts for a divorcee, even if it was [written] on condition [of going into effect later than the day on which it was written] or she didn't receive it until many years later -- from the day of the writing one counts, for he does not seclude himself with her after writing it for her. Rema: And some say that one counts from the day of the giving of the divorce document (Tur in the name of the Rosh) and in accordance with that it is appropriate to be stringent, thus it appears to me. And it is a decree of the Sages that even a woman who is unable to give birth, and even if she is divorced or widowed during the engagement period [when sexual relations with the future husband are forbidden], must wait 90 days. Even a minor or an elderly woman or an infertile woman or a woman who never underwent puberty, or even if her husband is abroad or a eunuch or ill or imprisoned, or [even] someone who miscarries after her husband's death, or even a virgin from the engagement period, [all these] must wait 90 days.

ב יְבָמָה שֶׁמֵּת הַיָּבָם, צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין שְׁלשָׁה חֳדָשִׁים אַחַר מִיתַת הַיָּבָם:

2 A woman waiting to marry her brother-in-law [after the death of her husband before having children with him] whose brother-in-law dies, must wait three months after the death of the brother-in-law.

ג נִתְעַבְּרָה מֵרְאוּבֵן, וּשְׁנֵיהֶם מוֹדִים שֶׁמִּמֶּנּוּ הִיא מְעֻבֶּרֶת, וְהָלְכָה וְנִתְקַדְּשָׁה לְשִׁמְעוֹן, וְגֵרְשָׁהּ, וְרוֹצָה לְהִנָּשֵׂא לִרְאוּבֵן, צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין אַחַר גֵּרוּשֵׁי שִׁמְעוֹן תִּשְׁעִים יוֹם:

3 If she was impregnated by Reuven, and both of them agree that from him she became pregnant, and she goes and gets engaged to Shimon, and he divorces her, and she wishes to marry Reuven, she must wait 90 days after divorcing Shimon.

ד מַחֲזִיר גְּרוּשָׁתוֹ אֵינָהּ צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין:

4 Someone remarrying the woman he divorced need not wait.

ה שִׁפְחָה וְגִיּוֹרֶת שֶׁהָיוּ נְשׂוּאוֹת לַבְּעָלִים בְּגַיּוּתָן וּבְעַבְדוּתָן וְנִתְגַּיְּרוּ אוֹ נִשְׁתַּחְרְרוּ, צְרִיכוֹת לְהַמְתִּין. וַאֲפִלּוּ גֵּר וְאִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁנִּתְגַּיְּרוּ, מַפְרִישִׁין אוֹתָם צ' יוֹם, כְּדֵי לְהַבְחִין בֵּין זֶרַע הַנִּזְרַע בִּקְדֻשָּׁה לְזֶרַע שֶׁנִּזְרַע שֶׁלֹּא בִּקְדֻשָּׁה:

5 A maidservant or a female convert who were married to husbands while they were non-Jews or servants and converted or were freed must wait. Even a convert and his wife who convert; [the court] separates them for 90 days in order to distinguish between seed implanted in holiness and seed implanted not in holiness.

ו הַמְמָאֶנֶת, אֵינָהּ צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין. לֹא גָּזְרוּ אֶלָּא בִּגְרוּשָׁה. וְכֵן הַמְזַנָּה אֵינָהּ צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁמְּהַפֶּכֶת עַצְמָהּ בִּשְׁעַת תַּשְׁמִישׁ כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא תִּתְעַבֵּר. וְכֵן אֲנוּסָה וּמְפֻתָּה אֵינָן צְרִיכוֹת לְהַמְתִּין. וְהוּא הַדִּין לִשְׁבוּיָה, אֲפִלּוּ הִיא גְּדוֹלָה. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּכָל אֵלּוּ צְרִיכִין לְהַמְתִּין, אִם הֵם גְּדוֹלוֹת וּרְאוּיוֹת לְהִתְעַבֵּר (טוּר). אִשָּׁה שֶׁנֶּאֶנְסָה תַּחַת בַּעְלָהּ, אִם לֹא נִבְעֲלָה לְבַעְלָהּ תְּחִלָּה צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין (א"ז):

6 A [young girl who] refuses [to marry the man her mother or brothers arranged for her to marry while she was a minor] need not wait [90 days after this refusal before marrying someone else]. They only decreed [the waiting period] for a divorcee. And likewise a [single] woman who has relations need not wait, because she turns herself during sex such that she will not become pregnant. And likewise a raped women or a seduced woman need not wait [90 days after the rape or seduction to marry another man]. And the same applies to a woman taken captive, even if she is an adult. Rema: Some say that all of these need to wait if they are adults and capable of becoming pregnant (Tur). A woman who is raped while married to her husband, if she had not had sex with her husband prior to the rape, she must wait (Or Zarua).

ז פִּילֶגֶשׁ מְיֻחֶדֶת לְאִישׁ שֶׁרוֹצָה לִנָּשֵׂא לְאַחֵר, צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין:

7 A concubine who is designated for one man, but wants to marry another, needs to wait [before marrying the other].

ח מִי שֶׁנִּשֵּׂאת בְּטָעוּת וְנוֹדַע שֶׁהִיא אֲסוּרָה לְבַעְלָהּ וְהוֹצִיאוּהָ בֵּית דִּין מִתַּחְתָּיו, אִם הָיְתָה קְטַנָּה שֶׁאֵינָהּ רְאוּיָה לֵילֵד אֵינָהּ צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין, שֶׁזֶּה דָּבָר שֶׁאֵינוֹ מָצוּי הוּא, וְכָל דָּבָר שֶׁאֵינוֹ מָצוּי בְּרֹב, לֹא גָּזְרוּ בּוֹ:

8 A woman who was married by mistake and it is known that she is forbidden to her husband, and the beis din sends her out from him [makes them divorce]: if she is a minor [under 12] and is not able to give birth, she does not need to wait [before marrying someone else], because this is not common and anything that is uncommon within a majority, they [the Rabbis] did not decree upon it.

ט אִשָּׁה שֶׁנִּתְגָּרְשָׁה וְיָצָא קוֹל פִּסוּל עַל הַגֵּט, וְהִצְרִיכוּהָ גֵּט אַחֵר מִפְּנֵי הַלַּעַז, יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶּׁצְּרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין ג' חֳדָשִׁים מֵהַגֵּט הַשֵּׁנִי; וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁאֵינָהּ צְרִיכָה לִמְנוֹת אֶלָּא מֵהַגֵּט הָרִאשׁוֹן. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ לָחוּשׁ לַסְּבָרָא הָרִאשׁוֹנָה (הִיא סְבָרַת ר"י וְהָרֹא"שׁ, כָּתְבוֹ בַּטּוּר עַל שְׁמָם). וְכֵן אִם נִתְגָּרְשָׁה מֵחֲמַת קוֹל קִדּוּשִׁין בְּעָלְמָא, צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין (ב"י בְּשֵׁם הָרשב"א):

9 A woman who is divorced and a rumor of invalidity against the divorce document goes out, and [the court] requires another divorce document because of the slander, some say she must wait three months from the second divorce document and some say that she need count only from the first divorce document. Rema: One should follow the first position (this is the opinion of the R"I and the Rosh, which the Tur wrote in their names). And likewise if she is divorced merely due to rumors that she had become engaged to someone, she must wait (Beit Yosef in the name of the Rashba).

י הַמְקַדֵּשׁ תּוֹךְ תִּשְׁעִים יוֹם מְנַדִּין אוֹתוֹ. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁצָּרִיךְ שֶׁיְּגָרֵשׁ, וְאִם הוּא יִשְׂרָאֵל מַחֲזִירָהּ לְאַחַר ג' חֳדָשִׁים, וְכֹהֵן לֹא יַחֲזִיר (טוּר). וְדַוְקָא שֶׁעָבַר בְּמֵזִיד, אֲבָל אִם קִדְּשָׁהּ בְּשׁוֹגֵג, אֵין צָרִיךְ לְגָרֵשׁ אֶלָּא מַפְרִישִׁין אוֹתָם (מהרי"ו סִי' ע"ג) וְיֵשׁ מַחֲמִירִים אֲפִלּוּ בְּשׁוֹגֵג (ת"ה סִימָן רט"ז). וְנִרְאֶה, דִּבְכֹהֵן דְּאָסוּר לְהַחֲזִיר, יֵשׁ לִסְמֹךְ אַדִּבְרֵי הַמְּקִלִּים וְלֹא מַצְרִיכִין לְגָרֵשׁ; וּבְיִשְׂרָאֵל אֵין לִסְמֹךְ אַמַּאן דְּמֵקֵל בְּשׁוֹגֵג, כֵּן נִרְאֶה לִי. גֵּרְשָׁהּ, אֲסוּרָה לָדוּר עִמּוֹ בְּמָבוֹי (רִיבָ"שׁ סִי' ש"ס). לֹא כָּפוּ בֵּית דִּין אוֹתוֹ עַד שֶׁעָבְרוּ ג' חֳדָשִׁים, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁקִּדֵּשׁ בַּעֲבֵרָה, שׁוּב אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ, דְּכֵיוָן שֶׁעָבְרוּ עָבְרוּ (מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק הַחוֹלֵץ בְּשֵׁם מוהר"ם). וְאִם כָּנַס, וְגֵרַשׁ, עַיֵּן לְקַמָּן סִימָן זֶה סָעִיף י"ב מַּה דִּינוֹ לְעִנְיַן כְּתֻבָּה. קִדֵּשׁ וּבָרַח, אֵין מְנַדִּין אוֹתוֹ. וְלוֹמְדִין אוֹתוֹ לִבְרֹחַ (טוּר בְּשֵׁם רַבֵּנוּ יְחִיאֵל). יֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר, דִּבְרִיחָה זוֹ צְרִיכָה שֶׁתִּהְיֶה לְמֵרָחוֹק שֶׁיַּרְחִיק עַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה שִׁיעוּר חֲזָרָתוֹ אַחַר ג' חֳדָשִׁים, וְאֵין נִרְאֶה כֵּן מִדִּבְרֵי שְׁאָר הַפּוֹסְקִים:

10 Someone who engages [one of these women] within [the] 90 day [period] -- [the court] excommunicates him. Rema: And some say that he needs to divorce her], and if he is an Israelite [i.e., not a priest] he takes her back after 3 months, while a priest may not take her back (Tur). This applies specifically if he transgressed deliberately, but if he engaged her by accident, he need not divorce her, but [the court] separates them (Mahari"v 73) and some are strict even in the accidental case (Terumat haDeshen 216). And it appears that in the case of a priest who is forbidden to take her back, one should rely on the lenient opinion and not require divorce; but in the case of an Israelite [= non-priest], one should not rely on the lenient position regarding accidents, thus it appears to me. If he divorced her, she is forbidden to live with him in the same mavoi (Riva"sh 360). If the court did not compel him [to divorce her] until after 3 months had passed, even though he engaged her transgressively, they no longer compel him [to divorce her], since once they passed, they passed (Mordekhai ch. Haholetz in the name of the Mahara"m). And if he married [her] and divorced [her], see below in this section subsection 12 the law regarding the ketubah. If he engaged her and fled, we do not excommunicate him. Rema: And we advise him to flee (Tur in the name of Rabbenu Yehiel). There is one who says that this fleeing must be so far that his return would be after three months, but this does not appear to be the case based on the words of other decisors.

יא גָּזְרוּ חֲכָמִים שֶׁלֹּא יִשָּׂא אָדָם וְלֹא יְקַדֵּשׁ מְעֻבֶּרֶת חֲבֵרוֹ, וְלֹא מֵינֶקֶת חֲבֵרוֹ, עַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לַוָּלָד כ"ד חֳדָשִׁים, דְּהַיְנוּ כְּפִי מַה שֶּׁקּוֹבְעִין הָחֳדָשִׁים אֶחָד מָלֵא וְאֶחָד חָסֵר, (הַגָּהוֹת מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק הַחוֹלֵץ), חוּץ מִיּוֹם שֶׁנּוֹלַד וְיוֹם שֶׁנִּתְקַדְּשָׁה בּוֹ. וְחֹדֶשׁ הָעִבּוּר עוֹלֶה לְמִנְיַן כ"ד חֹדֶשׁ. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דִּלְכַתְּחִלָּה יָחוּשׁ אֲפִלּוּ לְחֹדֶשׁ הָעִבּוּר (ת"ה סִימָן רי"ו). בֵּין שֶׁהִיא אַלְמָנָה בֵּין שֶׁהִיא גְּרוּשָׁה בֵּין שֶׁהִיא מְזַנָּה. וְיֵשׁ מְקִלִּין בִּמְזַנָּה (הַגָּהוֹת מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק הַחוֹלֵץ בְּשֵׁם יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים). וְיֵשׁ לְהָקֵל בְּמֻפְקֶרֶת לִזְנוּת, כְּדֵי שֶׁיְּהֵא בַּעְלָהּ מְשַׁמְּרָהּ (תְּשׁוּבַת ר"י מִינְץ סִימָן ה'). אֲפִלּוּ נָתְנָה בְּנָהּ לְמֵינֶקֶת, אוֹ גְּמָלַתּוּ בְּתוֹךְ כ"ד חֹדֶשׁ, לֹא תִּינָשֵׂא. אֲפִלּוּ נִשְׁבְּעָה הַמֵּינֶקֶת אוֹ נָדְרָה עַל דַּעַת רַבִּים שֶׁלֹּא תַּחֲזֹר בָּהּ. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּאִם נִשְׁבְּעָה הַמֵּינֶקֶת וְכָנַס, לֹא יוֹצִיא (הַגָּהוֹת מָרְדְּכַי דִּכְתֻבּוֹת). אֲפִלּוּ אִם נִשְׁבְּעָה לְאָדָם גָּדוֹל, כְּמוֹ אֵלּוּ שֶׁהוֹלְכִים בַּחֲצַר הַמֶּלֶךְ. אֲבָל אִם מֵת בְּנָהּ, מֻתֶּרֶת לִנָּשֵׂא וְאֵין חוֹשְׁשִׁין שֶׁמָּא תַּהַרְגֵהוּ. וְכֵן אִם גְּמָלַתּוּ בְּחַיֵּי בַּעְלָהּ, אוֹ שֶׁאֵינָה חוֹלֶבֶת לְעוֹלָם כְּגוֹן שֶׁיֵּשׁ לָהּ צִמּוּק דַּדִּים, אוֹ שֶׁפָּסַק חֲלָבָהּ בְּחַיֵּי בַּעְלָהּ וְשָׂכְרוּ לוֹ מֵינֶקֶת בְּחַיֵּי בַּעְלָהּ, אוֹ שֶׁנָּתְנָה בְּנָהּ לְמֵינִיקָה שְׁלשָׁה חֳדָשִׁים קֹדֶם מִיתַת בַּעְלָהּ וְהִיא לֹא הֵנִיקָה כְּלָל תּוֹךְ הַג' חֳדָשִׁים, מֻתֶּרֶת לִנָּשֵׂא:

11 The Rabbis decreed that a man should not engage a woman who is pregnant from another, or who is nursing another ['s child], until the infant has twenty four months. Rema: which is [counted] in the way that they set the month--one full and one missing [i.e. 30 days and 29 days] ( Hagot Mordechai Chapter HaCholetz) except for the day he was born and the day she was engaged. The intercalary month is part of the twenty four month count. Rema: And some say that ideally that one should take into account the intercalary month ( Terumat HaDeshen Siman 216). whether she is a widow or a divorcee or engaged in sex while single. Rema: Some are lenient with one who had sex while single ( Hagot Mordechai Chapter HaCholetz). And some are lenient with one who abandoned herself to promiscuity so that her husband can guard her (Responsa of Ri Mintz Siman 5). Even if she gave her child to a nurse, or if she weaned him within 24 months, she should not marry. Even if the nurse swore or vowed in public that she would not go back on [the deal]. Rema: And some say that if the nurse swore and she entered [into the engagement], she should not leave ( Hagot Mordechai Ketubot). Even if she swore to a great man, like those who go in the courtyard of the king. But if her child died, she is permitted to marry and we don't suspect that she might kill her child [in order to marry]. So too if she weaned [the child] while her [previous] husband was still alive, or if she never gave milk at all. For example, if her breasts had shriveled. Or if her milk stopped while her [previous] husband was still alive. Or if she gave her child to a nurse three months before her [previous] husband died and she had not nursed at all within the three months. [In these cases] she is permitted to remarry.

יב עָבַר וְנָשָׂא מְעֻבֶּרֶת אוֹ מֵינִיקָה בְּתוֹךְ זְמַן זֶה, מְנַדִּין אוֹתוֹ, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן בָּרַח, וְיוֹצִיא בְּגֵט, וַאֲפִלּוּ הָיָה כֹּהֵן. וְצָרִיךְ לָתֵת לָהּ כְּתֻבָּה אִם תִּתְבְּעֶנָּה לוֹ. וְאִם הָיָה יִשְׂרָאֵל, יַחֲזִירֶנָּה אַחַר כ"ד חֹדֶשׁ שֶׁל מֵינִיקָה וְיִכְתֹּב לָהּ כְּתֻבָּה אַחֶרֶת. נָשָׂא וּבָרַח, וּלְאַחַר זְמַן בָּא וְיָשַׁב עִם אִשְׁתּוֹ, אֵין בְּכָךְ כְּלוּם. וְאִם קִדֵּשׁ מְעֻבֶּרֶת אוֹ מֵינִיקָה, אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא, וְלֹא יִכְנֹס עַד אַחַר זְמַן הַיְנִיקָה אוֹ עַד שֶׁיָּמוּת הַוָּלָד. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּאֵין חִלּוּק בֵּין קִדֵּשׁ לְנָשָׂא (רֹב הַמּוֹרִים), וְכֵן עִקָּר. וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל סִימָן זֶה סָעִיף י' כֵּיצַד נוֹהֲגִין:

12 If he transgressed and married a pregnant or breastfeeding woman within this time, we ostracize him, unless he fled. And he shall divorce the woman, even if he is a priest. He has to pay the ketubah (marriage contract) if she claims it from him. If he is an Israelite, he may remarry her after 24 months of breastfeeding, and he must write her another ketubah. If he married and fled, and then after a time returned and lived with his wife, there is no problem. If he completed kiddushin (i.e. he gave a ring but did not perform the chupa ceremony) with a pregnant or breastfeeding woman, we do not force him to divorce, but he may not complete the marriage (i.e. nisuin - with chupa) until after the time of breastfeeding or until the child dies. Rema: Some say that there is no difference between kiddushin and nisuin (most adjudicators), and this is primary. See supra se'if 10 how to act.

יג אַלְמָנָה שֶׁהָיְתָה מֵינִיקָה בְּנָהּ, יְכוֹלָה לוֹמַר: אֵינִי מֵינִיקָה אֶלָּא בְּשָׂכָר. וִיכוֹלָה הִיא לִתְבֹּעַ כְּתֻבָּתָהּ לְאַלְתַּר וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינָהּ יְכוֹלָה לִנָּשֵׂא עַד סוֹף כ"ד חֹדֶשׁ. וְאֵין חִלּוּק בֵּין הִתְחִילָה לְהָנִיק אוֹ לֹא הִתְחִילָה (מַהֲרַ"ם פַּדָּוואָה סִימָן ל' וּמהרי"ו וְרִיבָ"שׁ וּתְשׁוּבַת הָרֹא"שׁ כְּלָל נ"ג):

13 A widow who was breastfeeding her child may say, "I will not breastfeed except for wages." And she may claim her ketuba immediately even though she may not marry until the end of 24 months. Rema: And there is no difference whether she [actually] started to breastfeed or not (Maharam Padua Chap. 30, Mahariv, Rivash, and Responsa Rosh rule 53).

יד זֶה שֶׁאָמַרְנוּ בִּגְרוּשָׁה, יֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר, דְּדַוְקָא שֶׁהֵינִיקָתוֹ קֹדֶם שֶׁנִּתְגָּרְשָׁה עַד שֶׁהִכִּירָהּ, אֲבָל קֹדֶם הַזְּמַן הַזֶּה לֹא, דְּהָא אִי בָּעֲיָא לֹא תָּנִיק לֵהּ כְּלָל, וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּשָׂכָר. וְיֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר, הָאִשָּׁה שֶׁמֵּת בַּעְלָהּ וְהִנִּיחָהּ מְעֻבֶּרֶת וְיָלְדָה וְלֹא הֵנִיקָה אֶת בְּנָהּ, צְרִיכָה לְהַמְתִּין כ"ד חֹדֶשׁ, וּמַשְׁמַע מִדְּבָרָיו דְּהוּא הַדִּין לִגְרוּשָׁה:

14 That which we said [se'if 11] regarding a divorcee [that a man should not marry a woman who is breastfeeding], there is an authority who says that it applies only when she breastfed the child prior to her divorce to the point where he [the infant] recognized her. However, before this time the rule does not apply, because if she so desired, she would not be compelled to breastfeed him at all [after the divorce], even for payment. Another authority [disagrees and] says that a woman whose husband died, leaving her pregnant, and she gave birth and did not breastfeed her child, she still has to wait 24 months before remarrying, and it can be inferred from this opinion that the same rule would apply to a divorcee.

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