Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer Siman 165

Siman 165

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א מִצְוַת יִבּוּם קוֹדֶמֶת לְמִצְוַת חֲלִיצָה. וְאִם אֵינָהּ רוֹצָה לְהִתְיַבֵּם לְשׁוּם אֶחָד מֵהָאַחִים, אוֹ בַּגָּדוֹל כְּשֶׁרוֹצֶה לְיַבֵּם, בְּלֹא טַעֲנָה מַסְפֶּקֶת, דִּינָהּ כְּמוֹרֶדֶת. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁמִּצְוַת חֲלִיצָה קוֹדֶמֶת. הַגָּה: וְאֵין לָהּ דִּין מוֹרֶדֶת אִם אֵינָהּ רוֹצָה לְהִתְיַבֵּם. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לַחֲלֹץ, אֶלָּא מַטְעִין אוֹתוֹ אִם יְכוֹלִין לְהַטְעוֹתוֹ, כְּגוֹן שֶׁאוֹמְרִים לוֹ: חֲלֹץ עַל מְנָת שֶׁתִּתֵּן לְךְ מָנֶה (טוּר בְּשֵׁם ר"ת וְהָרֹא"שׁ). וְדַוְקָא אִם אֵינוֹ מֵאוֹתָן שֶׁכּוֹפִין לְהוֹצִיא גַּבֵּי בַּעַל, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סִימָן קנ"ד. וְאִם שְׁנֵיהֶם רוֹצִים בְּיִבּוּם, אֵין מַנִּיחִים אוֹתָם לְיַבֵּם אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן נִכָּר וְיָדוּעַ שֶׁמְּכַוְּנִים לְשֵׁם מִצְוָה (טוּר בְּשֵׁם ר"ת). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּאִם יֵשׁ לוֹ אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת, שֶׁכּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ וּמְנַדִּין אוֹתוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּחֲלֹץ (טוּר בְּשֵׁם סְמַ"ג). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים אֲפִלּוּ בְּלֹא אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת, אִם אֵינָם מְכַוְּנִים לְשֵׁם מִצְוָה, וְהִיא אֵינָהּ רוֹצָה לְהִתְיַבֵּם, וְאֵין יְכוֹלִים לְהַטְעוֹתוֹ, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לַחֲלֹץ. וְהַמִּנְהָג כַּסְּבָרָא הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, שֶׁאֵין כּוֹפִין לַחֲלִיצָה כְּלָל, אֲפִלּוּ יוֹדְעִין בּוֹ שֶׁנָּתַן עֵינָיו בַּמָּמוֹן (מַהֲרַ"ם פַּדָּוואָה סִימָן י"ח), אֶלָּא מְפַשְּׁרִים בֵּינֵיהֶם כְּפִי תַּקָנוֹת הַקְּהִלּוֹת, כְּמוֹ שֶׁיִּתְבָּאֵר לְמַטָּה. וְכָל זֶה כְּשֶׁהוּא אוֹמֵר שֶׁרוֹצֶה לְהִתְיַבֵּם, וְאֶפְשָׁר לְהִתְיַבֵּם שֶׁאֵין חֲשַׁשׁ אִסוּר בְּיִבּוּמוֹ. אֲבָל אִם אוֹמֵר שֶׁאֵינוֹ רוֹצֶה לֹא לְיַבֵּם וְלֹא לַחֲלֹץ, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ (ב"י בְּשֵׁם ר"ת). וְדַוְקָא בְּבָאָה מֵחֲמַת טַעֲנָה, כְּדֶרֶךְ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סִימָן קנ"ד (ת"ה סִימָן ר"כ). מִיהוּ, אִם אֶפְשָׁר לְהַטְעוֹתוֹ וְלוֹמַר לוֹ שֶׁיִּקַּח מָמוֹן הַרְבֵּה עַל הַחֲלִיצָה, מַטְעִינָן לֵהּ כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא נִצְטָרֵךְ לָכֹף (נ"י מ"כ). וְיִזָּהֲרוּ שֶׁלֹּא יַשְׁלִישׁוּ הַמָּמוֹן בְּיָד שָׁלִישׁ, כִּי אָז לֹא יְכוֹלִין לוֹמַר לוֹ: מְשַׁטֶּה הָיִינוּ בְּךְ (מָרְדְּכַי פ' הַחוֹלֵץ). וְעַיֵּן לְקַמָּן סִימָן קס"ט סָעִיף נ':

1 The mitzvah of yibum comes before the mitzvah of chalitzah. And if she does not want to do yibum with another one of his [her husband's] brothers, or with the eldest who wants to do yibum, but without a satisfactory claim, she is considered rebellious. There are those who say that the mitvah of chalitzah is more important. Rema: She is not considered rebellious if she does not want to perform yibum. Nevertheless, we do not force him to do chalitzah, rather they try to trick him if they are able to, for example that they say to him: do chalitzah on the condition that she give you a maneh [a coin equal to 100 zuz ] (Tur in the name of Rabeinu Tam and the Ros"h). Specifically, if they are not among those who force him to divorce her, like was explained earlier in siman 154). If the two of them want to do yibum, we do not allow them to unless it is known that they both have intention to fulfill the mitzvah (Tur in the name of Rabeinu Tam). Some say that if he has another wife, we force him and pressure him until he does chalitzah (Tur in the name of the Sma"g). There are those who say that even if he doesn't have another wife, if the intention isn't for a mitzvah, and she does not want to do yibum, and they are not able to trick him, they force him to do chalitzah. The custom like the first opinion, that we do not force chalitzah at all, even if we know that his intentions are for money (Maharim Padvoah siman 18). But we appease between them like the communal institutions, like explained below. All this is when he wanys to perform yibum, and it is possible to do yibum without worrying about it being forbidden. But if he says he wants to do neither yibum nor chalitzah, we force him (Beit Yoseif in the name of Rabeinu Tam). Specifically, when she came with a reasonable claim, like explained in siman 154 (Truma Hadeshen siman 220). However, if it is possible to make him make a mistake by saying to him, take a lot of money for the chalitzah, we make him make a mistake so we don’t need to force him (N”Y M”K). They should be careful so they don’t plant money in the hands of a third person, because then they cannot say to him: we were just kidding with you (Mordechai Perek Hacholeitz). See later on siman 169 seif 50).

ב יְבָמָה שֶׁנָּדְרָה הֲנָאָה מִיְּבָמָהּ בְּחַיֵּי בַּעְלָהּ, אוֹ שֶׁנָּדְרָה הֲנָאָה מִכָּל הַיְּהוּדִים, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ שֶׁיַּחֲלֹץ לָהּ. וְאִם נָדְרָה לְאַחַר מִיתַת בַּעְלָהּ, מְבַקְּשִׁים מִמֶּנּוּ שֶׁיַּחֲלֹץ לָהּ. וְכֵן אִם נִתְכַּוְּנָה בְּנִדְרָהּ אֲפִלּוּ בְּחַיֵּי בַּעְלָהּ, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יְיַבֵּם אוֹתָהּ, מְבַקְּשִׁים מִמֶּנּוּ שֶׁיַּחֲלֹץ לָהּ. הַגָּה: הָיָה יְבָמָהּ כֹּהֵן, וְהָלְכָה וְנִתְקַדְּשָׁה לְאַחֵר כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יוּכַל לְיַבְּמָהּ, דִּינָהּ כְּאִלּוּ נָדְרָה הֲנָאָה מִמֶּנּוּ. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לַחֲלֹץ, הוֹאִיל וְהִיא גָּרְמָה שֶׁאֲסוּרָה לוֹ (תְּשׁוּבַת הָרַשְׁבָּ"א סִי' תת"כ), וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁאִם רָקְקָה לִפְנֵי הָאַחִים אוֹ כַּדּוֹמֶה לָזֶה, וְגָרְמָה שֶׁאֲסוּרָה לְיַבֵּם, אֵין לָהּ דִּין מוֹרֶדֶת הוֹאִיל וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לָהּ לְיַבֵּם מֵעַכְשָׁו (רַשְׁבָּ"א אָלֶף ר"ב). וּכְבָר נִתְבָּאֵר בְּסָמוּךְ שֶׁכָּל חִלּוּקִים אֵלּוּ לְמַאן דְּאָמַר מִצְוַת יִבּוּם קוֹדֵם, אֲבָל לְמַאן דְּאָמַר מִצְוַת חֲלִיצָה קוֹדֶמֶת, אֵין לָהּ דִּין מוֹרֶדֶת כְּלָל אִם אֵינָהּ רוֹצָה בְּיִבּוּם:

2 A yivamah who vowed [that she would not] receive benefit from her yibum while her husband was still alive, or she vowed [not to] receive benefit from all Jews, they force him [the yibum ] to perform chalitsah. And if she vowed after her husband's death, they request that he perform chalitsah. So too if she intentionally took the vow, even while her husband was still alive, so that he [the yibum ] would not perform yibum with her, they request him to perform chalitsah. Rema: If her yibum was a kohen and she went and married someone else so that he would be unable to perform yibum, her status is as one who vowed from receiving benefit from him. Nevertheless, they do not force him to perform chalitsah, since she caused herself to be forbidden to him (Responsa of the Rashba 820). Some say that if she spit before the brothers so something similar, and caused herself to be forbidden to do yibum, she is not considered rebellious since she cannot perform the yibum now (Rashba 1202). It was already explained nearby that all these distinctions are according to the one who says the Mitzvah of yibum precedes, but according to the one who says the Mitzvah of chalitsah precedes, she would not be considered rebellious at all if she does not want to perform the yibum

ג יְבָמָה שֶׁתָּבְעָהּ הַיָּבָם לַחֲלֹץ, וְהִיא אֵינָהּ רוֹצָה אֶלָּא לִשָּׁאֵר עֲגוּנָה, אֵין שׁוֹמְעִין לָהּ, אֲפִלּוּ הָיָה הַיָּבָם נָשׂוּי. וְדִינָהּ כְּמוֹרֶדֶת, וְנִתְבָּאֵר דִּינָהּ סִימָן ע"ז:

3 If a Yivama claims that the Yibum should perform Chalitsah but she does not want to [perform Chalitsah ] but wants to remain an Agunah [a 'chained' woman who cannot freely marry], we don't listen to her, even if the Yibum is married. Rema: and she has the law of a rebellious [wife], which is explained in Siman 77

ד כָּל יְבָמָה שֶׁדִּינָהּ שֶׁתַּחֲלֹץ וְלֹא תִּתְיַבֵּם, הֲרֵי זוֹ נוֹטֶלֶת כְּתֻבָּתָהּ וְשָׂמִין לָהּ בְּגָדִים כְּמוֹ לְאַלְמָנָה (רִיבָ"שׁ סִי' ש"כ). וְכֵן אִם הָיָה יְבָמָהּ מֻכֶּה שְׁחִין אוֹ שְׁאָר מוּמֵי אֲנָשִׁים שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֲרוּ בְּסִימָן קנ"ד, חוֹלֵץ לָהּ וְנוֹטֶלֶת כְּתֻבָּתָהּ. וַאֲפִלּוּ הָיוּ הַמּוּמִין הָהֵם בְּבַעְלָהּ, יְכוֹלָה הִיא לוֹמַר: לְאָחִיךָ הָיִיתִי יְכוֹלָה לְקַבֵּל וּלְךָ אֵינִי יְכוֹלָה לְקַבֵּל. הַגָּה: וְהוּא הַדִּין לְמַאן דְּאָמַר מִצְוַת חֲלִיצָה קוֹדֶמֶת, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לַחֲלֹץ, צָרִיךְ לִתֵּן לָהּ כְּתֻבָּתָהּ מִיָּד, שֶׁהֲרֵי דִּינָהּ כַּחֲלוּצָה (תְּשׁוּבַת ר"ד כֹּהֵן). וְכָל זֶה מִדִּינָא, אֲבָל הַקְּהִלּוֹת תִּקְּנוּ תַּקָּנָה, אִם יִתְרַצּוּ הַיָּבָם וְהַיְבָמָה בַּחֲלִיצָה, יַחֲלֹקוּ כָּל הַנְּכָסִים שֶׁהִנִּיחַ, וַאֲפִלּוּ אֵין מַגִּיעַ הַחֵצִי לִכְדֵי כְּתֻבָּהּ, וּמְנַכִּין לָהּ מֵחֶלְקָהּ כָּל מַה שֶּׁבִּזְבְּזָה בְּחַיֵּי בַּעְלָהּ, וּצְרִיכָה לִשָּׁבַע, אִם לֹא שֶׁהִתְפַּשְּׁרוּ עַצְמָם בְּלֹא שְׁבוּעָה. וּמַה שֶּׁנָּתַן הוּא בְּמַתְּנַת שְׁכִיב מְרַע, אֵין מְנַכִּין לָהּ מֵחֶלְקָהּ כְּלוּם (מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק הַחוֹלֵץ). וְאוֹתוֹ הַחֵצִי שֶׁמַּגִּיעַ לְחֵלֶק יוֹרְשֵׁי הַבַּעַל, נוֹטֵל הַחוֹלֵץ, וְאֵין לָאָב וְלֹא לִשְׁאָר אַחִין חֵלֶק בּוֹ. וַאֲפִלּוּ תָּפְסוּ, מוֹצִיאִין מִיָּדָן. דְּעִקַּר הַתַּקָּנָה הָיְתָה כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּתְרַצּוּ בַּחֲלִיצָה, וְלָכֵן הַחוֹלֵץ עִקָּר בָּזֶה (ת"ה סִימָן ר"כ). וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם רוֹצִין שְׁאָר הָאַחִין לַחֲלֹק עִם גְּדוֹל הָאַחִין, וְאוֹמְרִים שֶׁהֵם רוֹצִים לַחֲלֹץ, אֵין שׁוֹמְעִין לָהֶם אִם גְּדוֹל הָאַחִין רוֹצֶה לַחֲלֹץ. וְכָל זֶה שֶׁאֵין מַגִּיעִין חֲצִי הַנְּכָסִים לִכְדֵי כְּתֻבָּתָהּ, דְּוַדַּאי אֵינָהּ נוֹטֶלֶת יוֹתֵר מִכְּדֵי כְּתֻבָּתָהּ. וְיֵשׁ דֵּעוֹת אֲחֵרוֹת בְּעִנְיַן תַּקָּנוֹת הַקְּהִלּוֹת; עַל כֵּן נוֹהֲגִין לְהִתְפַּשֵּׁר בֵּינֵיהֶם, וַאֲפִלּוּ יֵשׁ לָהּ שְׁטָר חֲלִיצָה מִן הָאַחִין צְרִיכָה לְהִתְפַּשֵּׁר עִמָּהֶם בְּמָמוֹן, אִם לֹא שֶׁפֵּרְשׁוּ בְּהֶדְיָא לַחֲלֹץ לָהּ בְּחִנָּם (מַהֲרַ"ם פַּדָּוואָה סִימָן י"ז וְכ"ג):

4 Any woman who is required to perform halitza and not levirate marriage receives her Ketubah Rema: and her clothing needs are evaluated like those of a widow. Similarly, if her brother-in-law has is afflicted with boils or any of the other male defect described in (Shulchan Arukh, Even HaEzer 164), he must perform halitza and, she receives her Ketubah. Even if her husband exhibited the same defects, she can say, "I was able to tolerate this for your brother; I cannot tolerate it for you." Rema: The same law applies for the view that says that halitza is the first resort, even though we do not coerce him to perform halitza, he must give her the Ketubah immediately, as she is considered to have already undergone halitza. All of this is the law, but some locales passed an rule that if the two parties agree to perform halitza they will split the estate, even if the half is not sufficient to cover the Ketubah. We subtractI any amount that she spent during while her husband was alive, and she must take on oath [on that amount], unless they agreed that they would be no oath. Anything that he gave away as a deathbed gift is not subtracted from her portion. The half that the heirs of the husband are entitled to is taken by the one performing halitza, and his father and other brothers have no claim to it. Even if they seized assets, we retrieve them form their hands. The primary purpose of this rule was to make them amenable to performing halitza, and the one performing the halitza is therefore the primary subject. Even if the other brothers wish to divide [the estate] with the eldest brother, and they say that they wish to perform halitza, we do not listen to them if the eldest [also] wishes to perform halitza. All of this is true if half of the estate is insufficient to cover the Ketubah, bacause she certainly cannot take more than the Ketubah. There are other authoritative views about community rules, therefore the practice is to compromise with them. Even if she has a contract that binds them to perform halitza, she still must compromise with them for some monetary amount, unless they explicitly stated that they would perform halitza without payment.

ה נוֹלְדוּ בָּהּ מוּמִין כְּשֶׁהִיא שׁוֹמֶרֶת יָבָם, אִם אֵינוֹ רוֹצֶה לְיַבֵּם חוֹלֵץ לָהּ וְנוֹתֵן לָהּ כְּתֻבָּה:

5 If she developed blemishes when she was bound for yibum, if he does not want to do yibum, she does chalitzah, and he gives her a ketubah.

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