Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer Siman 178

Siman 178

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א הַמְקַנֵּא אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ, וְנִסְתְּרָה, וְאֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ אִם נִטְמֵאָה, אֲסוּרָה לוֹ. וּבִלְבַד שֶׁיְּהֵא הַקִּנּוּי וְהַסְתִירָה כָּרָאוּי, וְאָז הִפְסִידָה כְּתֻבָּתָהּ, אֲפִלּוּ מֵת קֹדֶם שֶׁגֵּרְשָׁהּ:

1 One who legally expresses jealousy over his wife and she is secluded but he doesn't know if she was defiled, she is prohibited to him. And this is true as long as the expression of jealousy and seclusion were performed as the law requires. And in such a case she loses her ketubah, even if he dies before he divorces her.

ב כֵּיצַד הַקִּנּוּי, אוֹמֵר לָהּ בִּפְנֵי שְׁנַיִם: אַל תִּסָתְרִי עִם אִישׁ פְּלוֹנִי, אֲפִלּוּ אִם הוּא אָבִיהָ אוֹ אָחִיהָ אוֹ כּוּתִי אוֹ שָׁחוּף פֵּרוּשׁ, שֶׁאֵינוֹ מִתְקַשֶּׁה (טוּר), וְהוּא שֶׁיְּהֵא גָּדוֹל. אֲבָל אִם אָמַר לָהּ: אַל תִּסָתְרִי עִם פְּלוֹנִי, וְהוּא קָטָן אוֹ בְּהֵמָה, לָא הָוֵי קִנּוּי. וּמְקַנֵּא לָהּ בֵּין אִם הִיא אֲרוּסָה בֵּין אִם הִיא נְשׂוּאָה אוֹ זְקוּקָה לְיָבָם:

2 How is jealously [legally performed]? He says to her in front of two [witnesses]: Do not be secluded with so-and-so? Even if he is her father or brother or a non-Jew or a "shahuf" (one who cannot get an erection, Tur), as long as he is of majority age. But if he said to her: Don't be secluded with so-and-so, and he is a minor or an animal, this is not legally performed jealousy. And he may profess jealous over her whether she is betrothed or married or awaiting levirate marriage.

ג קְטַנָּה שֶׁהִשִּׂיאָהּ אָבִיהָ וְזִנְּתָה לִרְצוֹנָהּ, יֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר, שֶׁאֲסוּרָה לְבַעְלָהּ. לְפִיכָךְ מְקַנְּאִין לָהּ, כְּדֵי לְהַפְסִידָהּ כְּתֻבָּתָהּ. וְיֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר, שֶׁאֵינוֹ נֶאֱסֶרֶת עַל בַּעְלָהּ, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן הוּא כֹּהֵן. הַגָּה: גְּדוֹלָה שֶׁזָּנְתָה בְּשׁוֹגֵג, שֶׁסָּבְרָה שֶׁבַּעְלָהּ הוּא, וְהוּא אַחֵר, מֻתֶּרֶת לְבַעְלָהּ יִשְׂרָאֵל (הָרַמְבַּ"ם פכ"ד דְּאִשּׁוּת). אֲבָל זָנְתָה שֶׁסָּבְרָה שֶׁמֻּתָּר לִזְנוֹת, הָוֵי כִּמְזִידָה וַאֲסוּרָה לְבַעְלָהּ יִשְׂרָאֵל (מַהֲרִי"ק שֹׁרֶשׁ קס"ז). אִשָּׁה שֶׁנִּתְיַחֲדָה עִם אֲנָשִׁים בַּדֶּרֶךְ, וּבָאָה וְאָמְרָה: נִתְיַחַדְתִּי וְנֶאֱנַסְתִּי, יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּנֶאֱמֶנֶת, בְּמִגּוֹ דְּאָמְרָה: לֹא נִבְעַלְתִּי, וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּאָבְדָה מִגּוֹ שֶׁלָּהּ, הוֹאִיל וְנִתְיַחֲדָה שֶׁלֹּא כַּדִּין (שְׁנֵי הַדֵּעוֹת בְּמָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק שֵׁנִי דִּכְתֻבּוֹת):

3 A minor girl whose father married her off and she willingly fornicated, there are those who say she is prohibited. Therefore, they can profess jealousy over her, in order to cause her to lose her ketubah. And there are those who say that she is not prohibited to her husband unless he is a priest. Rema: An adult who accidentally fornicated, thinking he was her husband but he was someone else, is permitted to her Israelite husband (Rambam, chapter 24, Hilkhot Ishut). But if she thought it was permitted to fornicate, this is like one who does so intentionally and she is forbidden to her husband (Maharik, root 167). A woman who was secluded with men on the road and she came back and said: "I was secluded and I was raped" there are those who say she is believed with a "since" argument, for [she could have said] I did not have relations. And there are those who said she loses the ability to make such an argument, since she was illicitly secluded (both opinions are found in the Mordecai, second chapter of Ketubot).

ד כֵּיצַד הִיא הַסְתִירָה, שֶׁנִּסְתְּרָה בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים עִם אוֹתוֹ פְּלוֹנִי שֶׁקִּנֵּא לָהּ, וְשָׁהֲתָה כְּדֵי טֻמְאָה, שֶׁהִיא כְּדֵי לִצְלוֹת בֵּיצָה וּלְגָמְעָהּ:

4 What is considered seclusion? When she is secluded in front of witnesses with the same man about whom the profession of jealousy was made, and she stayed there long enough to be defiled, which is long enough to roast an egg and quaff it.

ה קִנֵּא לָהּ מִשְּׁנַיִם, שֶׁאָמַר לָהּ: אַל תִּסָתְרִי עִם פְּלוֹנִי וּפְלוֹנִי, וְנִסְתְּרָה עִם שְׁנֵיהֶם כְּאֶחָד, אֲפִלּוּ הֵם שְׁנֵי אַחִים [אַחֶיהָ], אוֹ אָבִיהָ וְאָחִיהָ, אֲסוּרָה:

5 If professed jealousy about two men, saying to her: Don't be secluded with so-and-so and so-and-so, and she was secluded with both of them at the same time, even if they are brothers [her brothers] or her father and her brother, she is prohibited.

ו אָמַר לָהּ בִּפְנֵי שְׁנַיִם: אַל תְּדַבְּרִי עִם אִישׁ פְּלוֹנִי, אֵין זֶה קִנּוּי; אֲפִלּוּ נִסְתְּרָה עִמּוֹ וְשָׁהֲתָה עִמּוֹ כְּדֵי טֻמְאָה, מֻתֶּרֶת. וְכֵן אִם אָמַר לָהּ: אַל תִּסָתְרִי עִם אִישׁ פְּלוֹנִי, וְדִבְּרָה עִמּוֹ בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים, מֻתֶּרֶת. וְכֵן אִם נִסְתְּרָה בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים וְשָׁהֲתָה כְּדֵי טֻמְאָה עִמּוֹ, וְלֹא קִנֵּא לָהּ בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים, מֻתֶּרֶת, שֶׁאֵין אוֹסְרִים עַל הַיִּחוּד אֲפִלּוּ נִסְתְּרוּ יַחַד עַל דַּעַת עֶרְוָה, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן קִנֵּא לָהּ תְּחִלָּה בִּפְנֵי שְׁנַיִם. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם לֹא תִּתְיַחֵד אִשָּׁה עִם אֲנָשִׁים, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סִימָן כ"ב:

6 If he said to her in front of two people: Do not speak with so-and-so, this is not a profession of jealousy. Even if she is secluded with him and stays long enough to be defiled, she is permitted. Similarly, if he says to her: Do not be secluded with so-and-so, and she speaks with him in front of witnesses, she is permitted. And similarly if she is secluded in front of witnesses and stays with him long enough to be defiled, and he didn't profess jealousy in front of witnesses, she is permitted. For they don't prohibit a man to his wife even if they were secluded with the intent of engaging in prohibited relations, unless he professed jealousy at the outset in front of two witnesses. But in any case, a woman should not be secluded with men, and was explained above in siman 22.

ז לֹא יֹאמַר אָדָם לְאִשְׁתּוֹ, וַאֲפִלּוּ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵינָהּ: אַל תִּסָתְרִי עִם פְּלוֹנִי, דִלְמָא קַיְמָא לָן כְּרַבִּי יוֹסִי בְּרַבִּי יְהוּדָה דְּאָמַר: קִנֵּא לָהּ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵינָהּ הָוֵי קִנּוּי, הַגָּה: וְעַכְשָׁו אֵין לָנוּ מֵי סוֹטָה, וְאִם נִסְתְּרָה אַחַר הַקִּנּוּי, אֲסוּרָה לוֹ לְעוֹלָם (טוּר בְּשֵׁם סְמַ"ג). וְאִם שָׁכַח וְקִנֵּא לָהּ, יִמְחַל לָהּ מִיָּד עַל הַקִּנּוּי (א"ז), כְּמוֹ שֶׁיִּתְבָּאֵר לְקַמָּן סִימָן זֶה סָעִיף י"ב:

7 A man shouldn't say to his wife, even just between him and her: Don't be secluded with so-and-so, lest we hold like R. Yose b. Rabbi Yehudah who said: If he professed jealousy for her between him and her, it is a valid profession of jealousy. Rema: And not that we don't have the sotah waters, if she is secluded after a profession of jealousy she is forbidden to him forever (Tur, in the name of the SMG). And if he forgot and professed jealousy, he should forgive her immediately for the jealousy, as will be explained below in this chapter, section 12.

ח בָּא עֵד אֶחָד וְהֵעִיד לוֹ שֶׁנִּסְתְּרָה עִם אוֹתוֹ שֶׁקִּנֵּא לָהּ, וְשָׁהֲתָה כְּדֵי טֻמְאָה, אִם הוּא נֶאֱמָן בְּעֵינָיו וְדַעְתּוֹ סוֹמֶכֶת עָלָיו, יוֹצִיא וְיִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה. וְאִם לָאו, מֻתֶּרֶת לוֹ. וְאִם הוּא בְּעַצְמוֹ רָאָה שֶׁנִּסְתְּרָה עִמּוֹ וְשָׁהֲתָה עִמּוֹ כְּדֵי טֻמְאָה, הֲרֵי זוֹ אֲסוּרָה עָלָיו וְיוֹצִיא וְיִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה. וְאֵין חִלּוּק לְעִנְיַן סְתִירָה שֶׁאַחַר קִנּוּי בֵּין בַּעְלָהּ בָּעִיר וּפֶתַח פָּתוּחַ לִרְשׁוּת הָרַבִּים אוֹ לֹא (עַיֵּן בְּמהרא"י סִי' רמ"ד) וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל סִי' כ"ב:

8 If one witness comes and testifies that she was secluded with the one about whom the profession of jealousy was made, and she stayed with him long enough to be defiled, if he is trustworthy in his eyes, and he relies upon him, he should divorce her and give her the ketubah. And if not, she is permitted to him. And if he himself saw her secluded with him and she was with him long enough to be defiled, she is forbidden to him and he should divorce her and give her the ketubah. And there is no distinction for the matter of seclusion after profession of jealousy whether her husband is in the same city or the door is open to the public domain or not (see Maharai, siman 244). And see above, siman 22.

ט לֹא קִנֵּא לָהּ, וּבָא עֵד אֶחָד וְאָמַר לוֹ: זִנְּתָה, וְהִיא שׁוֹתֶקֶת, אִם הוּא נֶאֱמָן בְּעֵינָיו וְדַעְתּוֹ סוֹמֶכֶת עָלָיו כִּשְׁנַיִם, יוֹצִיא וְיִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה; וְאִם לָאו, מֻתֶּרֶת לוֹ. הַגָּה: וְהוּא הַדִּין אִם הִיא עַצְמָהּ אוֹמֶרֶת לוֹ שֶׁזָּנְתָה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סִימָן קט"ו סָעִיף ו'. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים, דְּבַזְּמַן הַזֶּה שֶׁיֵּשׁ חֵרֶם רַבֵּנוּ גֵּרְשֹׁם שֶׁלֹּא לְגָרֵשׁ אִשָּׁה בְּעַל כָּרְחָהּ, אֵינוֹ נֶאֱמָן לוֹמַר שֶׁמַּאֲמִינָה אוֹ שֶׁמַּאֲמִין לְדִבְרֵי הָעֵד (הַגָּהוֹת מַיְמוֹנִי פכ"ד וּמַהֲרִי"ק שֹׁרֶשׁ ק"י בְּשֵׁם י"א), דְּחַיְשִׁינָן שֶׁמָּא עֵינָיו נָתַן בְּאַחֶרֶת, וְאוֹמֵר שֶׁמַּאֲמִינָהּ אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינוֹ מַאֲמִין; וּמְנַדִּין אוֹתוֹ עַל שֶׁאוֹמֵר שֶׁמַּאֲמִינָהּ וְגָרַם לְבַטֵּל חֵרֶם רַבֵּנוּ גֵּרְשׁוֹם. וְהוּא הַדִּין בְּכָל מָקוֹם שֶׁלֹּא יוּכַל לְגָרֵשׁ בְּלֹא דַּעַת הָאִשָּׁה. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּכוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ וּמְשַׁמֵּשׁ עִמָּהּ (מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק הָאוֹמֵר), אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאוֹמֵר שֶׁמַּאֲמִין לְדִבְרֵי הָעֵד, מֵאַחַר שֶׁהָאִשָּׁה אֵינָהּ מוֹדָה, אוֹ אֲפִלּוּ אָמְרָה בְּעַצְמָהּ: טְמֵאָה אֲנִי לְךְ, וְחָזְרָה וְנָתְנָה אֲמַתְלָא לִדְבָרֶיהָ הָרִאשׁוֹנִים, כֵּן נִרְאֶה לִי עַל פִּי סְבָרָא זוֹ. אֲבָל יֵשׁ חוֹלְקִים וּסְבִירָא לְהוּ דְּאַף בַּזְּמַן הַזֶּה, נֶאֱמָן (שָׁם בַּמַהֲרִי"ק, וְכֵן מַשְׁמַע מֵהָרַמְבַּ"ם פכ"ד). וְאִם הָיָה לוֹ קֶטֶט עִמָּהּ, אֵינוֹ נֶאֱמָן לוֹמַר שֶׁמַּאֲמִין לְדִבְרֵי הָעֵד, דְּוַדַּאי מֵחֲמַת שִׂנְאָה אוֹמֵר כֵּן (שָׁם בַּמַּהֲרִי"ק). וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל סִימָן קט"ו סָעִיף ז':

9 If the husband did not warn her, but one witness came and said that she did commit adultery, and she doesn't respond [to the accusation], if the witness is trusted by the husband, and he trusts the single witness as he would trust two [witnesses], the husband should divorce her and pay her the ketubah, if not, she is permitted to him. Rema: This also applies if she herself said that she committed adultery as was explained earlier in chapter 115:6. There are some who say that nowadays when the ban of Rabeinu Gershom not to divorce one's wife without her consent is upheld, [the husband] can not believe her testimony or the witness's testimony [about her promiscuity], because we are concerned that [the husband] may have been keeping his eye on another woman [and that he is divorcing his wife only to marry another woman], without actually believing the wife or the witness.(Hagaot Maymoni Chapter 24 and the Maharik rule 110 in the name of 'those who say'). We ostracize the husband [in such a case] because he tried to break the ban of Rabeinu Gershom by saying that he trusted her (i.e his wife's testimony). This rule also applies to all places where the husband is not allowed to divorce [his wife] without her consent. Some [authorities] say that they force him to have relations with her [in such a case].

י מִי שֶׁהוֹצִיא קוֹל עַל אִשְׁתּוֹ, שֶׁזִּנְּתָה, וְאָמַר שֶׁנִּתְבָּרֵר לוֹ הַדָּבָר, וְאַחַר כָּךְ אָמַר אֵינוֹ אֱמֶת, אֶלָּא שֶׁמֵּחֲמַת הַכַּעַס שֶׁהִכְעִיסַתּוּ הוֹצִיא קוֹל זֶה; אִם נוֹתֵן אֲמַתְלָא לִדְבָרָיו, מֻתֶּרֶת; וְאִם לָאו, אֲסוּרָה לוֹ:

10 If one spread a rumor about his wife that she committed adultery and said that he was certain about it, and afterwards he said it wasn't true but rather he spread this rumor because of anger when she angered him - if he provides a reasonable explanation for his words, she is permitted to him, and if not, she is forbidden to him.

יא שָׁמַע הָעָם מְרַנְּנִים אַחַר הַקִּנּוּי, וְהַסְתִירָה בְּלֹא שְׁנֵי עֵדִים, עַד שֶׁהַנָּשִׁים נוֹשְׂאוֹת וְנוֹתְנוֹת בָּהּ שֶׁזִּנְּתָה מֵהָאִישׁ שֶׁקִּנֵּא לָהּ, אֲסוּרָה לוֹ, וְיוֹצִיאֶנָּה וְיִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה:

11 If people were gossiping after [the husband's] warning and [the wife's] seclusion [with another man], even without two witnesses, to the extent that women were discussing among themselves that she committed adultery with the man about whom he warned her - she is forbidden to him, and he must divorce her and give her her ketubah (marriage contract payment).

יב בַּעַל שֶׁמָּחַל עַל קִנּוּי, קֹדֶם סְתִירָה, קִנּוּיוֹ מָחוּל וּכְאִלּוּ לֹא קִנֵּא לָהּ. אֲבָל לְאַחַר סְתִירָה, אֵין קִנּוּיוֹ מָחוּל. גֵּרְשָׁהּ, הֲרֵי זֶה כְּאִלּוּ מָחַל לָהּ; וְאִם הֶחֱזִירָהּ, צָרִיךְ לְקַנֹּאת לָהּ פַּעַם אַחֶרֶת:

12 If there is a husband that relinquishes what he owes, if it is before it is neutralized, it is considered relinquished and as such is no longer owed to her. If it is after it is neutralized, however, it is not considered a relinquished debt. If she gets divorced, it is as if she relinquishes it, and if she gives it back, he must return it at a different time.

יג מִי שֶׁנִּתְחָרֵשׁ בַּעְלָהּ אוֹ נִשְׁתַּטָּה, אוֹ הָיָה בִּמְדִינָה אַחֶרֶת, אוֹ שֶׁהָיָה חָבוּשׁ בְּבֵית הָאֲסוּרִים, וְשָׁמְעוּ בֵּית דִּין מְרַנְּנִים אַחֲרֶיהָ, קוֹרְאִים וְאוֹמְרִים לָהּ: אַל תִּסָתְרִי עִם אִישׁ פְּלוֹנִי. וְאִם בָּאוּ עֵדִים אַחַר כָּךְ שֶׁנִּסְתְּרָה עִמּוֹ וְשָׁהֲתָה כְּדֵי טֻמְאָה, אוֹסְרִים אוֹתָהּ עַל בַּעְלָהּ לְעוֹלָם, וְקוֹרְעִים כְּתֻבָּתָהּ. וּכְשֶׁיָּבֹא בַּעְלָהּ אוֹ יַבְרִיא אוֹ יֵצֵא מִבֵּית הָאֲסוּרִים, יִתֵּן לָהּ גֵּט:

13 If there is a woman whose husband has gone deaf, or gone insane, or is in a different country, or he is imprisoned in prison, and the Beit Din hears rumors about her, they will call and say to her: do not hide from such-and-such man. And if witnesses come after they hid her, and they delay her in order to make her impure, they can forbid her from her husband forever, and they can write her a divorce document. And when her husband comes back, or recovers from his illness, or is freed from prison, he must give her a document of divorce.

יד בָּא עֵד אֶחָד וְהֵעִיד שֶׁנִּטְמְאָה מֵאוֹתוֹ שֶׁקִּנֵּא לָהּ, תֵּצֵא בְּלֹא כְּתֻבָּה. אֲפִלּוּ אִם עֵד הַטֻּמְאָה הוּא אֶחָד מֵעֵדֵי הַסְתִירָה, וַאֲפִלּוּ עֶבֶד אוֹ שִׁפְחָה אוֹ אִשָּׁה אוֹ קָרוֹב, כָּשֵׁר לְעֵדוּת:

14 If one witness comes, and swears that she was impure when she got her property, she must leave without her money that she is owed for her divorce. Even if the witness that swore that she was impure was also one of the witnesses that hid her, and even if they are a slave or a maidservant or a woman or a relative, they are still allowed to be witnesses.

טו חָמֵשׁ נָשִׁים שֶׁשּׂוֹנְאוֹת אוֹתָהּ, נֶאֱמָנוֹת עָלֶיהָ לוֹמַר שֶׁנִּטְמֵאת אַחַר הַקִּנּוּי לְאָסְרָהּ עַל בַּעְלָהּ, אֲבָל לֹא לְהַפְסִידָהּ כְּתֻבָּתָהּ:

15 If there are five woman who hate her, and they agree with each other to say that she was impure after she receives her stuff owed to her in order to make her forbidden to her husband, but not to nullify her Ketuvah.

טז מוֹצִיאִים עַל יְדֵי עֵדֵי טֻמְאָה, אֲפִלּוּ לֹא רָאוּ כְּמִכְחוֹל בִּשְׁפוֹפֶרֶת, מֵאַחַר שֶׁרָאוּ אוֹתָם דְּבוּקִים זֶה בָּזֶה וְנוֹהֲגִים כְּדֶרֶךְ הַמְנָאֲפִים:

16 If it is found by way of impure witnesses, even if if they didn't see so much as a paint brush in a tube of paint, after they see them stuck one on top of the other, and they follow the ways of the adulterous ones.

יז כָּל אִשָּׁה שֶׁנֶּאֶסְרָה עַל בַּעְלָהּ עַל יְדֵי קִנּוּי וּסְתִירָה, אֲסוּרָה גַּם לְאוֹתוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֶסְרָה בִּשְׁבִילוֹ. וְאִם עָבַר וּנְשָׂאָהּ, מוֹצִיאִין אוֹתָהּ מִתַּחְתָּיו בְּגֵט, אֲפִלּוּ הָיוּ לָהּ כַּמָּה בָּנִים מִמֶּנּוּ. אֲבָל אִם לֹא קָדַם קִנּוּי, וּבָאוּ עֵדִים שֶׁנִּסְתְּרָה עִם אִישׁ זֶה, וּבָאוּ וּמָצְאוּ דָּבָר מְכֹעָר, נִתְבָּאֵר בְּסִי' י" א:

17 All women that are married by the husband through money and [there is a] neutralization [of the money's value], she is forbidden to him [but] it is an engagement to him. And if afterwards she is married, she is divorced from him with a get, even if they have many children. But if not [they were not married] with money, and came witnesses that married [them] with this man [the husband], and it was found out a [physical feature that is] ugly, this is explained in Siman 11

יח כָּל אִשָּׁה שֶׁבָּאוּ שְׁנֵי עֵדִים וְהֵעִידוּ שֶׁזִּנְּתָה עִם זֶה כְּשֶׁהָיְתָה תַּחַת בַּעְלָהּ, הֲרֵי זוֹ תֵּצֵא מִזֶּה, וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁיֵּשׁ לָהּ מִמֶּנּוּ כַּמָּה בָּנִים:

18 For every woman for whom comes two witnesses that swear that she was adulterous while still married to her husband, they should separate from each other, even if she has many children.

יט יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁאֵשֶׁת אִישׁ שֶׁזִּנְּתָה עִם כּוּתִי וְגֵרְשָׁהּ בַּעְלָהּ, וְנִתְגַּיֵּר הַכּוּתִי, שֶׁמֻּתֶּרֶת לַגֵּר הַזֶּה, דְּלֹא שַׁיָּךְ לְמֵימַר "אֶחָד לַבּוֹעֵל" בְּבִיאַת הַכּוּתִי. הַגָּה: וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם מִי שֶׁזִּנָּה עִם אֲחוֹת אִשְׁתּוֹ, וְגֵרְשָׁהּ בַּעְלָהּ, אֲסוּרָה לַבּוֹעֵל אַחַר מִיתַת אִשְׁתּוֹ. אַף עַל גַּב דִּבְלָאו הָכִי הָיְתָה אֲסוּרָה לוֹ כְּשֶׁזִּנְּתָה עִמּוֹ (פִּסְקֵי מהרא"י סִי' כ"ט):

19 There are authorities who hold that a married woman who commits adultery with a gentile and divorces her husband, and the gentile converts to Judaism, she is permitted to this convert, as it is not relevant to say "one who has relations" in regard to the relations with a gentile. Rema: nevertheless one who commits adultery with the sister of his wife [who is a non-jew], and she divorces from her husband [and converts to Judaism], its forbidden to have relations with her until after the death of his wife. Even though it is doubtful if it is forbidden for her to have relations with him.

כ אֵשֶׁת אִישׁ שֶׁטּוֹעֶנֶת עַל אִישׁ אֶחָד שֶׁהוּא רוֹדֵף אַחֲרֶיהָ, וְהוּא מַכְחִישָׁהּ, אֵין לְהַאֲמִינָהּ כְּדֵי לְיַסְרוֹ; אֲבָל יִגְזְרוּ עָלָיו נִדּוּי, שֶׁלֹּא יְדַבֵּר עִמָּהּ כְּלָל, וְשֶׁלֹּא יָדוּרוּ בִּשְׁכוּנָה אַחַת. וְאִם הוּא מֻחְזָק בְּעֵינֵיהֶם לְחָשׁוּד עַל הָעֲרָיוֹת, רָאוּי לִגְעֹר בּוֹ בִּנְזִיפָה וּלְאַיֵּם עָלָיו שֶׁאִם לֹא יִתְנַהֵג כַּשּׁוּרָה יַבְדִּילוּהוּ מִבֵּינֵיהֶם לְרָעָה וְיִדְחוּהוּ בִּשְׁתֵּי יָדַיִם, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵנוּ זַ"ל: מַלְקִין עַל לֹא טוֹבָה הַשְּׁמוּעָה, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁכָּתַב הָרַמְבַּ"ם בְּפֶרֶק כ"ד מִסַנְהֶדְרִין:

20 A married woman who claims that a man [not her husband] is pursuing her, and he denies it [the claim], she [the married woman] is not believed to the extent of punishing the man, but [the court] decrees with [the threat of] excommunication upon him [if he does not comply with the following:] that he should not speak with her at all, and that they should not live in the same neighborhood. And, if the man is presumed in their eyes to be suspected of major sexual violations, then it is appropriate to rubuke and reprimand him and to threaten him that if he doesn’t behave properly, they [the court] will totally separate him [from the community] for ill and push him away with both hands, as our Sages stated, “We flog people with [persistently] bad reputations.” And see what Rambam wrote in [Mishneh Torah] Laws of Sanhedrin, chapter 24.

כא מִצְוַת חֲכָמִים עַל בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לְקַנְּאוֹת לִנְשׁוֹתֵיהֶם. וְכָל מִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ מַקְפִּיד עַל אִשְׁתּוֹ וְעַל בָּנָיו וּבְנֵי בֵּיתוֹ וּמַזְהִירָם וּפוֹקֵד דַּרְכֵיהֶם תָּמִיד עַד שֶׁיֵּדַע שֶׁהֵם שְׁלֵמִים מִכָּל חֵטְא וְעָוֹן, הֲרֵי זֶה חוֹטֵא, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "וּפָקַדְתָּ נָוְךָ וְלֹא תֶחֱטָא" (אִיּוֹב ה, כד). וְכָל הַמְקַנֵּא אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ נִכְנְסָה בּוֹ רוּחַ טָהֳרָה. וְלֹא יְקַנֵּא לָהּ מִתּוֹךְ שְׂחוֹק, וְלֹא מִתּוֹךְ שִׂיחָה, וְלֹא מִתּוֹךְ קַלּוּת רֹאשׁ, וְלֹא מִתּוֹךְ מְרִיבָה, וְלֹא לְהָטִיל עָלֶיהָ אֵימָה. וְאִם עָבַר וְקִנֵּא לָהּ בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים מִתּוֹךְ אֶחָד מִכָּל הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלּוּ, הֲרֵי זֶה קִנּוּי:

21 The Sages commanded that the people of Israel to be zealous for their wives. and everyone who are not meticulous with his wife, with his children and children of his house and do not order their ways always to the point that they are full of wrongdoing and sin, indeed its like he is a sinner. As the verse says "and thou shalt visit thy habitation, and find nothing desirable" (Job 5:24). And in regard to everyone who takes a his wife, she comes to him [for relations/marriage?] in a spirit of purity. and he will not marry her from midst the market place, and not from the midst [inappropriate] conversation, and not in the midst of levity, and not in the midst of a quarrel, and impose fear on her. and if her transgresses any of these [but] he marries her before two witnesses, indeed this is a marriage.

כב אֵין רָאוּי לִקְפֹּץ וּלְקַנְּאָהּ בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים תְּחִלָּה. וַאֲפִלּוּ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵינָהּ לָא יֹאמַר לָהּ: אַל תִּסָתְרִי עִם אִישׁ פְּלוֹנִי, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר. אֶלָּא מוֹכִיחַ אוֹתָהּ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵינָהּ, בְּנַחַת וּבְדֶרֶךְ טָהֳרָה וְאַזְהָרָה, כְּדֵי לְהָסִיר הַמִּכְשׁוֹל וּלְהַדְרִיכָהּ בְּדֶרֶךְ יְשָׁרָה:

22 Its improper to be anxious and be jealous before witnesses come. Even between them he will not say to her "don't be alone with this man", as it will be explained. Rather it cause animosity between them, [it should be done] in a way of gentleness, purity and cautiousness, in order to remove the obstacle [in the relationship] and guide it straight on.

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