Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer Siman 2

Siman 2

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א לֹא יִשָּׂא אָדָם אִשָּׁה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהּ שׁוּם פִּסוּל. הַגָּה: כָּל הַנּוֹשֵׂא אִשָּׁה פְּסוּלָה מִשּׁוּם מָמוֹן, הָוְיָן לוֹ בָּנִים שֶׁאֵינָם מְהֻגָּנִים. אֲבָל בְּלָאו הָכִי, שֶׁאֵינָהּ פְּסוּלָה עָלָיו אֶלָּא שֶׁנּוֹשְׂאָהּ מִשּׁוּם מָמוֹן, מֻתָּר (תְּשׁוּבַת רִיבָ"שׁ סִימָן ט"ו). מִי שֶׁרוֹצֶה לִשָּׂא אִשָּׁה פְּסוּלָה, בְּנֵי מִשְׁפַּחְתּוֹ יְכוֹלִין לִמְחוֹת בּוֹ (הָרַ"ן פֶּרֶק הַמּוֹכֵר). וְאִם אֵינוֹ רוֹצֶה לְהַשְׁגִּיחַ בָּהֶם, יַעֲשׂוּ אֵיזֶה דָּבָר לְסִימָן שֶׁלֹּא יִתְעָרֵב זַרְעוֹ בְּזַרְעָם. וּמִי שֶׁפָּסְקוּ לוֹ מָמוֹן הַרְבֵּה לְשִׁדּוּכִין וְחָזְרוּ בָּהֶם, לֹא יְעַגֵּן כַּלָּתוֹ מִשּׁוּם זֶה וְלֹא יִתְקוֹטֵט בַּעֲבוּר נִכְסֵי אִשְׁתּוֹ, וּמִי שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה כֵּן אֵינוֹ מַצְלִיחַ וְאֵין זווּגוֹ עוֹלֶה יָפֶה, כִּי הַמָּמוֹן שֶׁאָדָם לוֹקֵחַ עִם אִשְׁתּוֹ אֵינוֹ מָמוֹן שֶׁל ישֶׁר, וְכָל הָעוֹשֶׂה כֵּן מִקְּרֵי נוֹשֵׂא אִשָּׁה לְשֵׁם מָמוֹן, אֶלָּא כָּל מַה שֶּׁיִּתֵּן לוֹ חָמִיו וַחֲמוֹתוֹ יִקַּח בְּעַיִן טוֹב וְאָז יַצְלִיחַ (ב"י בְּשֵׁם א"ח):

1 A man should not marry a woman who has any kind of inappropriateness. [Isserless: Anyone who marries an inappropriate wife for money will bring them children who are not respectable, but aside from that, if there is no inappropriateness on her, rather he just marries her for money, it is allowed. If someone wants to marry an inappropriate wife, his family members may protest him. If he does not want to be supervised by them, he may make a type of sign such that their offspring will not intermingle with that of his family; and someone who offered a lot of money for him to get married and then took back the offer (even though they got married) he should not hold his wife like a hostage because of this and he should not quarrel with her over her family's property, and someone who does this will not be successful and the relationship will not be a good one because the money that a man takes along with his wife is not appropriate money; and anyone who does this is called someone who "marries for money". Rather, everything that a father or mother in-law gives him should be taken with a good-eye (a full heart) and he will be successful.]

ב כָּל הַמִּשְׁפָּחוֹת בְּחֶזְקַת כְּשֵׁרוֹת וּמֻתָּר לִשָּׂא מֵהֶם לְכַתְּחִלָּה. וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן אִם רָאִיתָ ב' מִשְׁפָּחוֹת שֶׁמִּתְגָּרוֹת זוֹ בָּזוֹ תָּמִיד, אוֹ שְׁנֵי בְּנֵי אָדָם שֶׁמִּתְגָּרִים זֶה בָּזֶה (בְּפ"י יוֹחֲסִין), אוֹ רָאִיתָ מִשְׁפָּחָה שֶׁהִיא בַּעֲלַת מַצָּה וּמְרִיבָה תָּמִיד, אוֹ רָאִיתָ אִישׁ שֶׁהוּא מַרְבֶּה מְרִיבָה עִם הַכֹּל וְעַז פָּנִים בְּיוֹתֵר, חוֹשְׁשִׁין לָהֶם וְרָאוּי לְהִתְרַחֵק מֵהֶם, שֶׁאֵלּוּ סִימָנֵי פַּסְלוּת הֵם. וְכֵן כָּל הַפּוֹסֵל אֲחֵרִים תָּמִיד, כְּגוֹן שֶׁנּוֹתֵן שֶׁמֶץ בְּמִשְׁפָּחוֹת אוֹ בִּיחִידִים וְאוֹמֵר עֲלֵיהֶם שֶׁהֵם מַמְזֵרִים, חוֹשְׁשִׁין לוֹ שֶׁמָּא מַמְזֵר הוּא. וְאִם אוֹמֵר לָהֶם שֶׁהֵם עֲבָדִים, חוֹשְׁשִים לוֹ שֶׁמָּא עֶבֶד הוּא, שֶׁכָּל הַפּוֹסֵל בְּמוּמוֹ פּוֹסֵל. וְכֵן מִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ עַזּוּת פָּנִים וְאַכְזָרִיּוּת וְשׂוֹנֵא אֶת הַבְּרִיּוֹת וְאֵינוֹ גּוֹמֵל לָהֶם חֶסֶד, חוֹשְׁשִים לוֹ בְּיוֹתֵר שֶׁמָּא גִּבְעוֹנִי הוּא:

2 Any family with the presumption of a good lineage and he's permitted to marry her a priori. Nevertheless, if you see two families that always irritate one another [Isserless: or two individuals that irritate one another]or you see a family that are upholders of mitzvot and argue always or you see a man that argues disputes with everyone and especially brazen, then we should suspect their lineage and it is fitting to distance oneself from them b/c these are disqualifying characteristics. Similar a person who always invalidates others, for example he puts a stain on the lineage of families or on individuals and he says about them, that that they are mamzerim then we suspect him of being a mamzer. And if he says that they are slaves then we suspect that he is a slave. And all who invalidates others, that blemish (actually) invalidates him. And likewise he who is brazen, cruel, and hates others and he doesn't show them loving kindness we suspect him the most, lest he is gibionite (see Mishnah Torah, Isuri Biya 19:17).

ג מִשְׁפָּחָה שֶׁקָּרָא עָלֶיהָ עַרְעָר, וְהוּא שֶׁיָּעִידוּ שְׁנַיִם שֶׁנִּתְעָרֵב בָּהֶם מַמְזֵר אוֹ חָלָל אוֹ שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶם עַבְדוּת, הֲרֵי זֶה סָפֵק. וְאִם מִשְׁפַּחַת כֹּהֲנִים הִיא, לֹא יִשָּׂא מִמֶּנָּה אִשָּׁה עַד שֶׁיִּבְדֹּק עָלֶיהָ ד' אִמָּהוֹת שֶׁהֵן ח': אִמָּהּ וְאֵם אִמָּהּ, אֵם אֲבִי אִמָּהּ וְאִמָּהּ; וְכֵן הוּא בּוֹדֵק עַל אֵם אָבִיהָ וְאִמָּהּ, אֵם אֲבִי אָבִיהָ וְאִמָּהּ. וְאִם הָיְתָה מִשְׁפָּחָה זוֹ שֶׁקָּרָא עָלֶיהָ עַרְעָר לְוִיִּם אוֹ יִשְׂרְאֵלִים, מוֹסִיף לִבְדֹּק עֲלֵיהֶם עוֹד אַחַת וְנִמְצָא בּוֹדֵק עֲשָׂרָה אִמָּהוֹת. אֲבָל אִשָּׁה הַבָּאָה לִנָּשֵׂא אֵינָהּ צְרִיכָה לִבְדֹּק, שֶׁלֹּא הֻזְהֲרוּ כְּשֵׁרוֹת לִנָּשֵׂא לִפְסוּלִים:

3 When the purity of a families lineage has been disputed, whoever two people testify that there was intermingled with one another, a mamzer or a challal or that they have slaves in their lineage, behold this is doubtful. And if it is a family of priests no one may marry a women from them until they will check about her up through four generations because there are eight involved: her mother, her maternal grandmother, the mother of her maternal grandfather, the maternal grandmother of her maternal grandfather. And likewise we check the mothers of the fathers side: the mother of her paternal grandmother, the mother of her paternal grandfather, and the mother of the mother of her paternal grandfather. And if the family that was called into question is a Levite or Israelite they add to the checking of them another one and we find that they check 10 mothers. But a women that is brought to be married doesn't need to check (her husband's family) because kosher women are not warned against marrying blemished men.

ד כָּל שֶׁקּוֹרִין לוֹ מַמְזֵר, וְשׁוֹתֵק; אוֹ נָתִין, וְשׁוֹתֵק; אוֹ חָלָל, וְשׁוֹתֵק; אוֹ עֶבֶד, וְשׁוֹתֵק; חוֹשְׁשִׁין לוֹ וּלְמִשְׁפַּחְתּוֹ וְאֵין נוֹשְׂאִין מֵהֶם, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן בּוֹדְקִין כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְדַּוְקָא מִשְׁפָּחָה שֶׁנִּתְעָרֵב בָּהּ אֶחָד מֵאֵלּוּ הַפְּסוּלִים, אֲבָל אָדָם אַחֵר שֶׁקּוֹרִין לוֹ כָּךְ וְשׁוֹתֵק, אֵין בְּכָךְ כְּלוּם (טוּר בְּשֵׁם ר"י וּבֵית יוֹסֵף בְּשֵׁם הָרַמְבַּ"ן וְהָרַשְׁבָּ"א). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים עוֹד, דְּכָל זֶה דַּוְקָא בַּדּוֹרוֹת הָרִאשׁוֹנִים שֶׁהָיוּ בֵּית דִּין נִזְקָקִין לְמִי שֶׁחֵרֵף חֲבֵרוֹ וּמַעֲנִישִׁים אוֹתוֹ כָּרָאוּי, לָכֵן הָוֵי שְׁתִיקָה כְּהוֹדָאָה. אֲבָל עַכְשָׁו, הַשּׁוֹתֵק עַל הַמְּרִיבָה הֲרֵי זֶה מְשֻׁבָּח, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן קוֹרִין לוֹ כָּךְ שֶׁלֹּא בִּשְׁעַת מְרִיבָה (ב"י בְּשֵׁם הַשָּׂגוֹת הָרַאֲבַ"ד). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּלֹא אָמְרִינַן שְׁתִיקָה כְּהוֹדָאָה. אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן צָוַח עַל פִּסוּל אַחֵר, אֲבָל אִם שׁוֹתֵק תָּמִיד לֹא הָוֵי כְּהוֹדָאָה (הָרַ"ן סוֹף פ"ק דִּכְתֻבּוֹת). וְכָל זֶה מַיְרֵי בְּפִסוּל הַנּוֹגֵעַ בְּעַצְמוֹ, אֲבָל אִם רוֹצִים לִפְסֹל זַרְעוֹ בְּפָנָיו וְשׁוֹתֵק, אֵין בְּכָךְ הוֹדָאָה, אֲבָל לְמֵיחַשׁ קְצָת מִיהָא בָּעִינָן (תְּשׁוּבַת רַ"מ פַּדָּוואָה סִימָן י"ד). וְהַשּׁוֹמֵעַ חֶרְפָּתוֹ בִּשְׁאָר דְּבָרִים וְשׁוֹתֵק, סִימָן הוּא שֶׁהוּא מְיֻחָס:

4 Anyone who is called a mamzer or netin or challal or a servant and he is silent about his status, we suspect him and his family and we don't marry them even if we check as was explained. [Isserless: There are some that say this applies only to a family that is known to blend with one of these psulim (inappropriate ones), but an individual that is called thus and keeps quiet, means nothing. There are others who say that all this (from the Mechaber) only applies to earlier generations where Beis Din would keep track of the yichus of families and appropriately apply punishments, so if someone is silent, it can be considered that he admits since he knows that the truth will be revealed. But now, silence is an indication only that he does not want to argue or fight and is thus praiseworthy, so rather today, we accept this as a sign of good yichus as long as he does not cause an argument. Others say that we do not say at all that 'silence is like an admission' and that all this only goes as a sign against the accuser himself and we question his Yichus (not the accused one). Yet, if he is trying to Possel his children in front of him and he remains silent, the silence is never considered and admission (not even by the Mechaber) although, it does raise some concern and reason to check his family. And in all cases, someone who hears troubling words about other matters (aside from Yichus) and he remains silent, this is a clear sign of proper upbringing and that he is appropriate to marry.]

ה מִשְׁפָּחָה שֶׁנִּתְעָרֵב בָּהּ סְפֵק חָלָל, כָּל אִשָּׁה כְּשֵׁרָה שֶׁנִּשֵּׂאת לְאֶחָד מֵאוֹתָהּ מִשְׁפָּחָה וְנִתְאַלְמְנָה, אֲסוּרָה לְכֹהֵן לְכַתְּחִלָּה, וְאִם נִשֵּׂאת לֹא תֵּצֵא, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהֵם שְׁתֵּי סְפֵקוֹת, שֶׁמָּא זוֹ אַלְמָנַת אוֹתוֹ חָלָל, שֶׁמָּא אֵינָהּ אַלְמָנָתוֹ; וְאִם נֹאמַר שֶׁהִיא אַלְמָנָתוֹ, שֶׁמָּא אֵינוֹ חָלָל. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דַּוְקָא הָאַלְמָנָה דְּהֲוָה לָהּ חֶזְקַת כַּשְּׁרוּת, אֲבָל בִּתָּהּ, אֲפִלּוּ נִשֵאת, תֵּצֵא. וְיֵשׁ מְקִלִּין וְאוֹמְרִים דְּאֵין חִילוּק בֵּינָהּ לְבִתָּהּ (ב' הַדֵּעוֹת בְּב"י בסס"ז). אֲבָל אִם נִתְעָרֵב בָּהּ חָלָל וַדַּאי, כָּל אִשָּׁה מֵהֶם אֲסוּרָה עַד שֶׁיִּבְדֹּק, וְאִם נִשֵּׂאת תֵּצֵא. וְהוּא הַדִּין אִם נִתְעָרֵב בָּהּ סְפֵק מַמְזֵר אוֹ מַמְזֵר וַדַּאי. הַגָּה: וְכָל זֶה דַּוְקָא לְמִי שֶׁיּוֹדֵעַ בַּדָּבָר. אֲבָל מִשְׁפָּחָה שֶׁנִּתְעָרֵב בָּהּ פְּסוּל, וְאֵינוֹ יָדוּעַ לָרַבִּים, כֵּיוָן שֶׁנִּטְמְעָה נִטְמְעָה, וְהַיּוֹדֵעַ פְּסוּלָהּ אֵינוֹ רַשַּׁאי לְגַלּוֹתָהּ, אֶלָּא יַנִּיחֶנָּהּ בְּחֶזְקַת כַּשְּׁרוּת, שֶׁכָּל הַמִּשְׁפָּחוֹת שֶׁנִּטְמְעוּ בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל כְּשֵׁרִים לֶעָתִיד לָבֹא. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם כָּשֵׁר הַדָּבָר לְגַלּוֹת לַצְּנוּעִין (כָּךְ מַשְׁמַע מֵהָרַ"ן פֶּרֶק עֲשָׂרָה יוֹחֲסִין). וְדַוְקָא מִשְׁפָּחָה שֶׁנִּטְמְעָה וְנִתְעָרְבָה, אֲבָל כָּל זְמַן שֶׁלֹּא נִתְעָרְבָה מְגַלִּין הַפְּסוּלִים וּמַכְרִיזִין עֲלֵיהֶם, כְּדֵי שֶׁיַּפְרִישׁוּ מֵהֶם הַכְּשֵׁרִים (שָׁם בְּהַגָּהוֹת אַלְפָסִי). וְעַיֵּן בְּחשֶׁן הַמִּשְׁפָּט סִימָן ל"ה מִי נֶאֱמָן לְהָעִיד עַל מִשְׁפָּחוֹת:

5 A family that might have in their lineage a suspected chalal any kosher woman may marry one of these. And if she is widowed she is forbidden to a Cohen A Priori. But [after the fact] if she is married [to a priest], she doesn't need to be divorced because of these two doubts: Maybe she became a widow of this chalal and maybe she is not a widow. Even if you say that she is a widow maybe he is not chalal. [Isserless: And some hold this is Davka for a the widow herself, since she has a chazaka of Kashrus (having been married to a Kohen) but this does not apply to her daughter and if she is already married, he must divorce her. But, others are Maikel and make no distinction between the widow and her daughter)] But if someone who was certainly a chalal marries into a family, then every women in that family is forbidden (to a priest) until he the priest does an investigation. If she was married (without an investigation), she is then divorced. And this is also the rule if a doubtful or certain mamzer marries into a family. [Isserless: Yet all this is particularly for someone about whom it is known, but a family that is blended with (at least one known) passul that is not known to the public, for example this one or that one was tamei and the knowledge of this passul is not appropriate for public exposure, rather we assume a Hazakah of Kashrut that all the families that become tamei in Israel are Kosher in the days of the Messiah and in every place, this is kosher to reveal and demonstrates their modesty. This is davka for a family that is blended with tameiim, but any time that this tuma is not blended (and the passulim are known) then the tameiim should be revealed and publicly announced about them so that kosher people will keep away from them.]

ו לְעוֹלָם יִשְׁתַּדֵּל אָדָם לִשָּׂא בַּת תַּלְמִיד חָכָם וּלְהַשִּׂיא בִּתּוֹ לְתַלְמִיד חָכָם. לֹא מָצָא בַּת תַּלְמִיד חָכָם, יִשָּׂא בַּת גְּדוֹלֵי הַדּוֹר, לֹא מָצָא בַּת גְּדוֹלֵי הַדּוֹר, יִשָּׂא בַּת רָאשֵׁי כְּנֵסִיּוֹת. לֹא מָצָא בַּת רָאשֵׁי כְּנֵסִיּוֹת, יִשָּׂא בַּת גַּבָּאֵי צְדָקָה. לֹא מָצָא בַּת גַּבָּאֵי צְדָקָה, יִשָּׂא בַּת מְלַמְּדֵי תִּינוֹקוֹת וְאַל יַשִּׂיא בִּתּוֹ לְעַם הָאָרֶץ. הַגָּה: וְעַל בְּנוֹתֵיהֶן הוּא אוֹמֵר: "אָרוּר שׁוֹכֵב עִם בְּהֵמָה" (דְּבָרִים כז, כא). וְכָל זֶה בְּעַם הָאָרֶץ שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְדַקְדֵּק בְּמִצְוֹת (טוּר). וּמִצְוָה לְאָדָם שֶׁיִּשָּׂא בַּת אֲחוֹתוֹ (גְּמָרָא בְּסַנְהֶדְרִין וּבִיבָמוֹת). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים אַף בַּת אָחִיו (הָרַמְבַּ"ם פ"ב דְּהִלְכוֹת אִסוּרֵי בִּיאָה):

6 Israelite man should always make an effort to marry a scholar's daughter and to marry his daughter to a scholar. If he can't find a daughter of a scholar he marries the daughter of a gedolei hador (great Rabbi) and he can't find a gedolei hador he marries the daughter of one of the heads of the congregations and if he can't find one of the heads of congregations he marries a collector of Tzedakah and if he he can't find that he marries a school teacher but his daughter should not marry an am haaretz (simpleton). [Isserless: Pertaining to their daughters he says, cursed is the one that lies with beasts and all this pertains to the am haaretz because they are not diligent with the mitzvot. But its a mitzvah for a man to marry the daughter of his sister and there are those who say even the daughter of his brother].

ז לֹא יִשָּׂא אָדָם אִשָּׁה לֹא מִמִּשְׁפַּחַת מְצֹרָעִין וְלֹא מִמִּשְׁפַּחַת נִכְפִּין, וְהוּא שֶׁהֻחְזַק שָׁלֹשׁ פְּעָמִים שֶׁיָּבוֹאוּ בְּנֵיהֶם לִידֵי כָּךְ:

7 A man shouldn't marry a women from a leporous family nor from a nekafim. If a family has three instances the next children will have the presumption of being this way.

ח עַם הָאָרֶץ לֹא יִשָּׂא כֹּהֶנֶת, וְאִם נָשָׂא אֵין זִוּוּגָם עוֹלֶה יָפֶה שֶׁתָּמוּת הִיא אוֹ הוּא מְהֵרָה, אוֹ תְּקָלָה תָּבֹא בֵּינֵיהֶם. אֲבָל תַּלְמִיד חָכָם שֶׁנּוֹשֵׂא כֹּהֶנֶת, הֲרֵי זֶה נָאֶה וּמְשֻׁבָּח, תּוֹרָה וּכְהֻנָּה בְּמָקוֹם אֶחָד:

8 An am ha'aretz should not marry a cohen. And if he marries one, their pairing will not develop well (Pesachim 49a) because she will die or it (meaning the child) will die from the pregnancy or problems will come between them. But a scholar that marries an Cohen woman, this is pleasant and praiseworthy for then the Torah and the Priesthood will be found in the same place.

ט לֹא יִשָּׂא בָּחוּר זְקֵנָה, וְלֹא זָקֵן יַלְדָּה, שֶׁדָּבָר זֶה גּוֹרֵם לִזְנוּת:

9 A young man should not marry an old woman and an old man should not marry a young girl for this thing causes whoredom.

י לֹא יִשָּׂא אָדָם אִשָּׁה וְדַעְתּוֹ לְגָרְשָׁהּ. וְאִם הוֹדִיעַ תְּחִלָּה שֶׁהוּא נוֹשֵׂא אוֹתָהּ לְיָמִים יְדוּעִים, מֻתָּר:

10 A man should not marry a woman with the intention of divorcing her and if he announces from the beginning that he is going to marry her for a few days then that is permitted.

יא לֹא יִשָּׂא אָדָם אִשָּׁה בִּמְדִינָה זוֹ וְיֵלֵךְ וְיִשָּׂא אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת בִּמְדִינָה אַחֶרֶת, שֶׁמָּא יִזְדַּוְגוּ הַבָּנִים זֶה לָזֶה וְנִמְצָא אָח נוֹשֵׂא אֲחוֹתוֹ. וְאָדָם גָּדוֹל שֶׁשְּׁמוֹ יָדוּעַ וְזַרְעוֹ מְפֻרְסָם אַחֲרָיו, מֻתָּר:

11 A man should not marry a woman in one land and marry another woman in a different land lest the children of this one and that one (meaning, of each woman) pair off with each other and we find that a brother marries his sister but a famous person and his children are well known because of him, then it is permitted (to marry women in different lands).

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