Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer Siman 42

Siman 42

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א אֵין הָאִשָּׁה מִתְקַדֶּשֶׁת אֶלָּא לִרְצוֹנָהּ. וְהַמְקַדֵּשׁ אִשָּׁה בְּעַל כָּרְחָהּ, אֵינָהּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת. אֲבָל הָאִישׁ שֶׁאֲנָסוּהוּ עַד שֶׁקִּדֵּשׁ בְּעַל כָּרְחוֹ, הֲרֵי זוֹ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת, וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁאֵינָהּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת, הִלְכָּךְ הֲוָה לֵהּ סָפֵק. הַגָּה: אָמְרָה תְּחִלָּה: קַדְּשֵׁנִי, וְזָרַק קִדּוּשִׁין לְתוֹךְ חֵיקָהּ וְאָמַר לָהּ: הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לִי, וְנִעֲרָה בְּגָדֶיהָ תּוֹךְ כְּדֵי דִּבּוּר לְהַשְׁלִיךְ מִמֶּנָּה הַקִּדּוּשִׁין, וְאוֹמֶרֶת שֶׁלֹּא כִּוְּנָה מִתְּחִלָּה רַק לִשְׂחֹק בְּעָלְמָא, אֲפִלּוּ הָכִי הָוֵי מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת (תְּשׁוּבַת מוהר"ם סוֹף סֵפֶר נָשִׁים). וְאֵין הוֹלְכִים בְּעִנְיַן קִדּוּשִׁין אַחַר אֻמְדָּנוֹת וְהוֹכָחוֹת הַמּוֹכִיחוֹת שֶׁלֹּא כִּוְּנָה לְשֵׁם קִדּוּשִׁין (שָׁם). לָקַח יַד הָאִשָּׁה בְּחָזְקָה שֶׁלֹּא בִּרְצוֹנָהּ וְקִדְּשָׁהּ, וְהִיא לֹא זָרְקָה הַקִּדּוּשִׁין, הָוֵי מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת. אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁמִּתְּחִלָּה בְּאֹנֶס הָיָה, וְנָתַן לָהּ סְתָם וְלֹא אָמַר לָהּ כְּלוּם, הוֹאִיל וּבִתְחִלָּה דִּבֵּר עִמָּהּ מִקִּדּוּשִׁין (הַגָּהוֹת מָרְדְּכַי סוֹף גִּטִּין). הָיָה חַיָּב לָהּ מָעוֹת וְאָמְרָה לוֹ: תֵּן לִי מָעוֹתַי, וְכַאֲשֶׁר הִתְחִיל לִתֵּן אָמַר לָהּ: הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לִי, וְזָרְקָה הִיא הַמָּעוֹת מִיָּדָהּ, אֵינָן קִדּוּשִׁין (טוּר בְּשֵׁם תְּשׁוּבַת הָרֹא"שׁ):

1 A woman can only become engaged by her will. One who engages a woman against her will, she is not engaged. But a man who they forced until her engaged against his will she is engaged, but there are those who say she is not engaged and therefore it is in doubt. [ Rema: If she originally said engage me and he threw engagement money into her arms and said to her: Behold you are betrothed to me, and she shook out her clothing while he was saying so to throw the money from her and said that she did not intend to get engaged and was only joking, even so she is engaged (Moharam, end of Sefer Nashim). They do not go after in the topic of engagement proofs that she did not intend to become engaged. If he took a woman's hand by force against her will and gave her engagement money and she does not throw the money away she is engaged, even though at the beginning it was by force and he gave it to her without saying anything, since at the beginning they were talking about engagement. If he owed her money and she told him, Give me my money: and when he gave them to her he said: Behold you are betrothed to me" and she threw the money away she is not engaged.

ב הַמְקַדֵּשׁ שֶׁלֹּא בְּעֵדִים, וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּעֵד אֶחָד, אֵינָם קִדּוּשִׁין. וַאֲפִלּוּ שְׁנֵיהֶם מוֹדִים בַּדָּבָר. וַאֲפִלּוּ קִדְּשָׁהּ בִּפְנֵי עֵד אֶחָד וְאַחַר כָּךְ קִדְּשָׁהּ בִּפְנֵי עֵד אַחֵר, זֶה שֶׁלֹּא בִּפְנֵי זֶה, אֵינָהּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ מַחֲמִירִים אִם מְקַדֵּשׁ לִפְנֵי עֵד אֶחָד (טוּר בְּשֵׁם סְמַ"ג) אִם שְׁנֵיהֶם מוֹדִים; אֲבָל אִם אֶחָד מַכְחִישׁ הָעֵד, אֵין לָחוּשׁ (כָּךְ מְפָרֵשׁ הָרשב"ץ לְדַעַת הַסְמַ"ג). וּבִמְקוֹם עִגּוּן וְדֹחַק, יֵשׁ לִסְמֹךְ אַדִּבְרֵי הַמְּקִלִּין. וְאֵין חִלּוּק בֵּין אוֹמֵר הָעֵד שֶׁנִּתְקַדְּשָׁה לְפָנָיו לְבַד, אוֹ שֶׁאוֹמֵר שֶׁנִּתְקַדְּשָׁה לִפְנֵי שְׁנַיִם וְהוּא לְבַד רָאָה, וְהָאֲחֵרִים אוֹמְרִים שֶׁלֹּא רָאוּ (בֵּית יוֹסֵף, וְכֵן מַשְׁמָע בִּתְשׁוּבַת הָרַשְׁבָּ"א). וְכֵן אִם קִדֵּשׁ לִפְנֵי שְׁנַיִם, וְהָאֶחָד מֵהֶם קָרוֹב, הָוֵי כִּמְקַדֵּשׁ לִפְנֵי עֵד אֶחָד. וְעַיֵּן לְקַמָּן סִימָן מ"ז סָעִיף ג':

2 One who marries without witnesses, even with one witness, is not married. And even if the two of them agree in the matter. And even if he married her in front of one witness and then married her in front of another witness, this one not in front of this one, she's not married. Rema: And some are stringent if he marries in front of one witness (Tur in the name of the Sma"g) if the two of them agree; but if one contradicts the witness, don't worry (so did the Rashba"tz explain according to the Sma"g). And in a situation of anchoring [she'll be an "agunah"] and pressure, [you can] rely on the lenient opinion. And there is no difference whether the witness says she was married in front of him alone, or if he says she was married in front of two and he alone saw, and the others say they didn't see (Beit Yosef, and similarly it's implied in the Responsa of the Rashb"a). And similarly if he marries in front of two, and one of them is a relative, it's as if he marries in front of one witness. And see later on Siman 47:3.

ג צָרִיךְ שֶׁיִּרְאוּ הַמְקַדֵּשׁ וְהַמִּתְקַדֶּשֶׁת אֶת הָעֵדִים, אֲבָל אִם רָאוּ אוֹתָם שְׁנַיִם מֵהַחַלּוֹן וְהֵם רוֹאִים וְאֵינָם נִרְאִים לוֹ אוֹ לָהּ, אֵינָהּ צְרִיכָה מִמֶּנּוּ גֵּט. הַגָּה: וַאֲפִלּוּ שָׁמְעוּ הָעֵדִים שֶׁאָמְרָה שֶׁמְּקַבֶּלֶת לְקִדּוּשִׁין, יְכוֹלָה לוֹמַר: יוֹדַעַת הָיִיתִי שֶׁאֵין קִדּוּשִׁין בְּלֹא עֵדִים וְכִוַּנְתִּי לִשְׂחֹק בּוֹ (רִיבָ"שׁ סִימָן רס"ו). וְדַוְקָא שֶׁאוֹמֶרֶת שֶׁכִּוְּנָה לִשְׂחֹק בְּעָלְמָא, אֲבָל אִם מַכְחֶשֶׁת שֶׁקִּבְּלָה כְּלוּם, וְהָעֵדִים מְעִידִים שֶׁקִּבְּלָה, שׁוּב אֵינָהּ נֶאֱמֶנֶת לוֹמַר: לִשְׂחֹק כִּוַּנְתִּי, וְהָוֵי קִדּוּשִׁין (מַהֲרַ"ם פַּדָּוואָה סִימָן ל"ב):

3 It is necessary for the betrothing man and the betrothed woman to see the witnesses, but if those two [witnesses] saw them through a window, and they could see, but were not visible to him or to her, she does not require a *get* [bill of divorce] from him. Rema: And even if they witnesses heard her saying that she was accepting the betrothal, she can say, "I know that there is no betrothal without witnesses, and I intended to play with him" (Riva"sh - Siman 266). And [this is true] only if she said that she only intended to play, but if she denies that she accepted at all, and the witnesses testify that she accepted, she can no longer say, "I intended to play," and it is a betrothal (Mahara"m Padawa - Siman 32).

ד קִדֵּשׁ בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים, אֲפִלּוּ לֹא אָמַר: אַתֶּם עֵדִים, מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת. הַגָּה: וַאֲפִלּוּ יִחֵד עֵדִים, יְכוֹלִים אֲחֵרִים שֶׁרָאוּ הַמַּעֲשֶׂה לְהָעִיד (רִיבָ"שׁ סִימָן תע"ט). וּצְרִיכִים הָעֵדִים לִרְאוֹת הַנְּתִינָה מַמָּשׁ לְיָדָהּ אוֹ לִרְשׁוּתָהּ, אֲבָל אִם לֹא רָאוּ הַנְּתִינָה מַמָּשׁ לְיָדָהּ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁשָּׁמְעוּ שֶׁאָמַר: הִתְקַדְּשִׁי לִי בְּחֵפֶץ פְּלוֹנִי, וְאַחַר כָּךְ יָצָא מִתַּחַת יָדָהּ, אֵינָן קִדּוּשִׁין עַד שֶׁיִּרְאוּ הַנְּתִינָה מַמָּשׁ (תְּשׁוּבַת רַשְׁבָּ"א סִימָן תש"פ). וְאֵין הוֹלְכִין בָּזֶה אַחַר אֻמְדָּנוֹת וְהוֹכָחוֹת. מִי שֶׁקִּדֵּשׁ דֶּרֶךְ חוֹר שֶׁבַּכֹּתֶל, כְּגוֹן שֶׁאַחַת פָּשְׁטָה יָדָהּ דֶּרֶךְ חוֹר וּבָא אֶחָד וְנָתַן לָהּ קִדּוּשִׁין, וְהַחוֹר צַר וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לִרְאוֹת אוֹתָהּ בִּשְׁעַת קִדּוּשִׁין, וְהִיא אוֹמֶרֶת שֶׁלֹּא שָׁמְעָה שֶׁקִּדְּשָׁהּ, נֶאֱמֶנֶת בְּמִגּוֹ שֶׁיְּכוֹלָה לוֹמַר שֶׁלֹּא הָיְתָה יָדָהּ רַק יַד אַחֶרֶת (רַשְׁבָּ"א אֶלֶף קע"ט), וּבִלְבַד שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיוּ עֵדִים הַמַּכְחִישִׁים אוֹתָהּ. כָּל עֵדוּת שֶׁלֹּא נֶחְקַר בְּבֵית דִּין, לָא מִקְּרֵי עֵדוּת לְעִנְיַן קִדּוּשִׁין (כָּךְ מַשְׁמַע בַּמָּרְדְּכַי רֵישׁ אֶחָד דִּינֵי מָמוֹנוֹת). וְלָכֵן אֲפִלּוּ אָמְרוּ עֵדִים חוּץ לְבֵית דִּין שֶׁנִּתְקַדְּשָׁה, יְכוֹלִים לַחֲזֹר בָּהֶם בְּבֵית דִּין לוֹמַר: לֹא נִתְקַדְּשָׁה. וְכֵן לְהֵפֶךְ (תְּשׁוּבַת הָרַשְׁבָּ"א הוּבְאָה בְּבֵית יוֹסֵף). עֵדֵי קִדּוּשִׁין אֵינָם צְרִיכִים דְּרִישָׁה וַחֲקִירָה, אִם לֹא בְּדָבָר שֶׁנִּרְאֶה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ רַמָּאוּת (רַשְׁבָּ"א אֶלֶף ר"ט). מָצְאוּ כָּתוּב בִּשְׁטָר: פְּלוֹנִי קִדֵּשׁ פְּלוֹנִית, וְעֵדִים חֲתוּמִים בּוֹ, כָּל זְמַן שֶׁאֵין הַשְּׁטָר מְקֻיָּם, אֵין לָחוּשׁ לְקִדּוּשִׁין (הַגָּהוֹת מָרְדְּכַי דְּקִדּוּשִׁין). וּדְלֹא כְּיֵשׁ מִי שֶׁמַּחֲמִיר בַּדָּבָר (מַהֲרִי"ק שֹׁרֶשׁ ע"ד):

4 Marriage in front of witnesses, even if he didn't say, "You are witness", the marriage is effected. Rema: Even if witnesses were specified, others can see the act and testify (Rivash Siman 479). The witnesses need to see the actual giving to her hand or her property. But if they didn't see the actual giving to her hand, even though they heard him say, "Marry me with this certain object," and after ward she walks out with it under her hand, it is not a marriage until they see the actual giving (Responsa Rashba Siman 680). One cannot go after guesses and logical proofs in this regard. One who marries through a hole in the wall, such as she stretching her hand through a hole and someone comes along and puts into it [an object for] marriage, and the hole is narrow, and it is impossible to see the moment of marriage, and she says she didn't hear that she was being married, she is believed since she could have said [a better claim] that it wasn't her hand but it was someone else's (Rashba 1179), as long as there aren't witnesses which prove her wrong. Any testimony that cannot be examined in a court of law is not considered testimony for marriage [either] (Inferred from the Mordecha at the beginning of laws of money). Therefore, even if witnesses say outside of a court of law that she is married, the court of law can respond to them saying "She is NOT married." And so too the opposite case (Responsa Rashba brought by the Bet Yosef). Marriage witnesses do not need to be scrutinized and inspected if there is no reason to suspect trickery (Rashba 1209). If they find it wrotten in the document, "A certain man married a certain woman" and witnesses signed it, when the document no longer available, the marriage is not suspected (Hagahot Mordechai to Kiddushin). And it is not like those who are stringent about the matter (Makarik Shoresh 74).

ה הַמְקַדֵּשׁ בִּפְסוּלֵי עֵדוּת דְּאוֹרָיְתָא, אֵינָן קִדּוּשִׁין. אֲבָל בִּפְסוּלֵי עֵדוּת דְּרַבָּנָן, אוֹ בְּעֵדִים שֶׁהֵם סָפֵק פְּסוּלֵי תּוֹרָה, אִם רוֹצֶה לִכְנֹס חוֹזֵר וּמְקַדֵּשׁ בְּעֵדִים כְּשֵׁרִים. וְאִם לֹא רָצָה לִכְנֹס, צְרִיכָה גֵּט מִסָפֵק. וַאֲפִלּוּ כָּפְרָה הָאִשָּׁה וְאוֹמֶרֶת: לֹא קִדַּשְׁתַּנִי, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לִתֵּן גֵּט. וְכֵן דִּין כָּל קִדּוּשֵׁי סָפֵק, אִם רָצָה לִכְנֹס חוֹזֵר וּמְקַדֵּשׁ וַדַּאי, וְאִם לֹא רָצָה לִכְנֹס צְרִיכָה גֵּט מִמֶּנּוּ מִסָפֵק, וְאִם עָמַד אַחֵר וְקִדְּשָׁהּ, הֲרֵי זוֹ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לַשֵּׁנִי מִסָפֵק, וּצְרִיכָה גֵּט מִשְּׁנֵיהֶם, אוֹ מְגָרֵשׁ רִאשׁוֹן וְנוֹשֵׂא שֵׁנִי; אֲבָל לְגָרֵשׁ (שֵׁנִי) וְלִכְנֹס רִאשׁוֹן, לֹא. הַגָּה: הֶחָשׁוּד עַל הָעֲרָיוֹת, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵין עֵדִים שֶׁבָּא עַל הָעֶרְוָה, רַק שֶׁחָשׁוּד בְּעָלְמָא (תּוֹסָפוֹת וְהָרֹא"שׁ), פָּסוּל לְעֵדוּת אִשָּׁה, בֵּין לְעִנְיַן קִדּוּשִׁין בֵּין לְעִנְיַן גֵּרוּשִׁין (הָרַמְבַּ"ם). הַמְקַדֵּשׁ לִפְנֵי פְּסוּלֵי עֵדוּת דְּאוֹרָיְתָא מִכֹּחַ רִשְׁעָתָן, כְּגוֹן לִפְנֵי אֲנוּסִים אוֹ שְׁאָר רְשָׁעִים, יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים חַיְשִׁינָן לְקִדּוּשִׁין, דִּלְמָא חָזְרוּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה (ר"י מִינְץ סִימָן י"א, וְכֵן כָּתַב בְּאָרְחוֹת חַיִּים בְּשֵׁם רַשִׁ"י). וְיֵשׁ מְקִלִּין (בֵּית יוֹסֵף וּמַהֲרַ"מ פַּדָּוואָה סִימָן ל"ז). מִיהוּ, אֵלּוּ הָאֲנוּסִים שֶׁהֻצְרְכוּ לְהָמִיר מִכֹּחַ יִרְאָה, וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לָהֶם לִמָּלֵט עַל נַפְשָׁם, וּבְצִנְעָה מְקַיְּמִים הַמִּצְוֹת, הֵם כְּשֵׁרִים לְעֵדוּת (רִיבָ"שׁ סִימָן י"א). יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים הָא דְּאָמְרִינָן הַמְקַדֵּשׁ בִּפְסוּלֵי עֵדוּת דְּרַבָּנָן חוֹשְׁשִׁין לְקִדּוּשִׁין, הַיְנוּ בְּקִדּוּשֵׁי דְּאוֹרָיְתָא, אֲבָל בְּקִדּוּשֵׁי דְּרַבָּנָן וְעֵדִים פְּסוּלִים מִדְּרַבָּנָן, אֵין חוֹשְׁשִׁין לְקִדּוּשִׁין כְּלָל (בֵּית יוֹסֵף בְּשֵׁם הָרשב"ץ בִּתְשׁוּבָה):

5 Someone who marries using witnesses who are invalid on a Torah level, there is no marriage. But witnesses who are invalid on a rabbinical level, or the witnesses are invalid according to the Torah on a doubtful level, if he wants to enter [into marriage] he should go back and marry with kosher witnesses. If she does not want to enter, he needs to give a divorce document for the doubt. Even if the woman denies and says, "I was not wedded," we force him to give a divorce document. So is the law with all marriages of dount, if she wants to enter he goes back and marries definitively, and if she does not want to enter she needs a divorce document from him because of doubt. And if another comes and marries her, she is now married to the second on a doubtful level, and she needs a divorce document from both of them, or the first one must divorce and she can marry the second. But to divorce the second and marry the first, no. Rema: Someone who is suspected of sexual impropriety (arayot), even if there is no witnesses of the sexual act, but it is just a suspicion (Tosafot and the Rosh), he is invalid for testimony for woman's issues, whether for marriage or divorce (Rambam). Someone who marries using witnesses who are invalid on a Torah level because of their wickedness, such as in front of rapists or other wicked people, some say the marriage is suspected to have taken effectm for perhaps they repented (R"Y Mintz Siman 11, and so in Orchot Chaim in the name of Rashi). And some are lenient (Bet Yosef, and Maharam Padawa Siman 37). However, those who are forced to convert through fear [of reprisal], and they cannot get out of it, but in hiding keep the commandments, they are kosher witnesses (Rivash Siman 11). Some say that that which we say that one who marries using those who are invalid witnesses on a rabbinical level are suspected to have effected the marriage, this is for a Torah-level marriage, but a rabbinical marriage, and the witnesses are invalid on a rabbincal level, the marriage is not suspected as haven taken effect at all (Bet Yosef in the name of the Harashbetz in a Responsa).

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