Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer Siman 80

Siman 80

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א מַעֲשֵׂה יָדֶיהָ לְבַעֲלָהּ, כֵּיצַד, הַכֹּל כְּמִנְהַג הַמְּדִינָה; מָקוֹם שֶׁדַּרְכָּן לֶאֱרֹג, אוֹרֶגֶת; לִרְקֹם, רוֹקֶמֶת; לִטְווֹת צֶמֶר אוֹ פִּשְׁתִּים, טוֹוָה; וְאִם לֹא הָיָה דֶּרֶךְ נְשֵׁי הָעִיר לַעֲשׂוֹת כָּל הַמְּלָאכוֹת הָאֵלּוּ, אֵינוֹ כּוֹפָהּ אֶלָּא לִטְווֹת הַצֶּמֶר בִּלְבַד. דָּחֲקָה עַצְמָהּ וְעָשְׂתָה יוֹתֵר מֵהָרָאוּי לָהּ, הַמּוֹתָר לַבַּעַל. הַגָּה: וְדַוְקָא שֶׁנּוֹתֵן לָהּ מָעָה כֶּסֶף כָּל שָׁבוּעַ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סִימָן ע'. וִיכוֹלָה אִשָּׁה לוֹמַר: אֵינִי נוֹטֶלֶת מָעָה כֶּסֶף וְאֵינִי נוֹתֶנֶת הַמּוֹתָר; אֲבָל הַבַּעַל לֹא יוּכַל לוֹמַר כֵּן (טוּר בְּשֵׁם הָרְמָ"ה, וְכֵן כָּתַב הָרַ"ן פֶּרֶק אַף עַל פִּי, וְכֵן כָּתַב הַשְּׁאִלְתּוֹת פָּרָשַׁת מִשְׁפָּטִים):

1 The product of her work belongs to her husband. How [does this work?] All according to local practice. In a place where they [the women] tend to weave, she weaves.... to embroider, she embroiders.... to spin wool or linen, she spins. And if the way of the women of the city wasn't to do any of these jobs, he can only compel her to spin the wool. If she pushed herself and made more than enough for herself, the excess [belongs] to her husband. Rema: And this is only when he gives her a *ma'ah* of silver each week, as was explained above, in Siman 70. And the woman can say, "I will take the *ma'ah* of silver, and I won't give the excess," but the husband cannot say this. (Tur in the name of the Rem"a, and the Ra"n wrote similarly [on] the chapter [of Talmud Ketubot called] "Even so," and the She'iltot wrote similarly [on] *Parashat Mishpatim*.)

ב הָיָה לוֹ מָמוֹן הַרְבֵּה, אֲפִלּוּ הָיָה לָהּ כַּמָּה שְׁפָחוֹת, אֵינָהּ יוֹשֶׁבֶת לְבַטָּלָה בְּלֹא מְלָאכָה, שֶׁהַבַּטָּלָה מְבִיאָה לִידֵי זִמָּה; אֲבָל אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ לַעֲשׂוֹת מְלָאכָה כָּל הַיּוֹם כֻּלּוֹ, אֶלָּא לְפִי רֹב הַמָּמוֹן מְמַעֶטֶת בִּמְלָאכָה:

2 If he had a lot of money, even if she had many maidservants, she may not sit idle without work, as idleness brings [one] to immorality. But we do not compel her to do work all day long; rather, in accordance with the abundance of money, she reduces working.

ג הַמַּדִּיר אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁלֹּא תַּעֲשֶׂה מְלָאכָה, יוֹצִיא וְיִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה, שֶׁהַבַּטָּלָה מְבִיאָה לִידֵי זִמָּה:

3 One who imposes a vow on his wife that she will not do work, he [must] divorce her and pay her *ketubah* [marriage contract], as idleness brings one to immorality.

ד וְכֵן כָּל אִשָּׁה רוֹחֶצֶת לְבַעֲלָהּ פָּנָיו יָדָיו וְרַגְלָיו, וּמוֹזֶגֶת לוֹ אֶת הַכּוֹס, וּמַצַּעַת לוֹ אֶת הַמִּטָּה; וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דִּמְחֻיֶּבֶת לְהַצִּיעַ כָּל מִטּוֹת הַבַּיִת (הַמַּגִּיד מִשְׁנֶה פֶּרֶק כ"א וּבְהָרַ"ן פֶּרֶק אַף עַל פִּי). וְעוֹמֶדֶת וּמְשַׁמֶּשֶׁת בִּפְנֵי בַּעֲלָהּ, כְּגוֹן שֶׁתִּתֵּן לוֹ מַיִם אוֹ כְּלִי אוֹ שֶׁתִּטֹּל מִלְּפָנָיו, וְכַיּוֹצֵא בִּדְבָרִים אֵלּוּ; אֲבָל אֵינָהּ עוֹמֶדֶת וּמְשַׁמֶּשֶׁת בִּפְנֵי אָבִיו אוֹ בִּפְנֵי בְּנוֹ; וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דַּוְקָא בְּאֵינָן סְמוּכִין עַל שֻׁלְחַן בַּעֲלָהּ (בֵּית יוֹסֵף בְּשֵׁם הָרַ"ן פֶּרֶק אַף עַל פִּי):

4 And so, every wife washes her husbands, face, hands, and feet for him, and pours him his cup, and makes his bed for him. And there are those who say that she is obligated to make all the beds in the house (The Maggid Mishneh on Chapter 21 and the Ra"n on the chapter [of Talmud Ketubot] called "Even though"). And she stands and serves before her husband, for example, giving him water or a vessel or taking it from him, and things like this, but she does not stand and serve before his father or before his so. And there are those that say that this is only when they are not dependent on her husband's table (Beit Yoseif in the name of the Ra"n on the chapter [of Talmud Ketubot] called "Even though").

ה מְלָאכוֹת אֵלּוּ עוֹשָׂה אוֹתָן הִיא בְּעַצְמָהּ, וַאֲפִלּוּ הָיוּ לָהּ כַּמָּה שְׁפָחוֹת אֵין עוֹשִׂין מְלָאכוֹת אֵלּוּ לַבַּעַל, אֶלָּא אִשְׁתּוֹ. וְיֵשׁ מַחֲלֹקֶת בְּהַצָּעַת הַמִּטָּה, וְעַיֵּן לְמַטָּה סָעִיף ח':

5 These labors, she does personally, and even if she has many maidservants, they do not do these labors for the husband - only his wife. And there is a disagreement regarding making the bed - see below in Sa'if 8.

ו יֵשׁ מְלָאכוֹת שֶׁהָאִשָּׁה עוֹשָׂה לְבַעֲלָהּ בִּזְמַן שֶׁהֵם עֲנִיִּים, וְאֵלּוּ הֵם: מַטְחֶנֶת, וְאוֹפָה, וּמְכַבֶּסֶת, וּמְבַשֶּׁלֶת, וּמֵינִיקָה אֶת בְּנָהּ, וְנוֹתֶנֶת תֶּבֶן לִפְנֵי בְּהֶמְתּוֹ, אֲבָל לֹא לִפְנֵי בְּקָרוֹ. הַגָּה: מֵת בְּנָהּ, אֵינָהּ מְחֻיֶּבֶת לְהָנִיק בְּשָׂכָר וְלִתֵּן לוֹ הַשָּׂכָר; וְכֵן בְּנוֹ מֵאִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת, אֵינָהּ מְחֻיֶּבֶת לְהָנִיקוֹ (הָרַ"ן פֶּרֶק אַף עַל פִּי):

6 There are labors that the woman does for her husband when they are paupers. These are they: she grinds, bakes, launders, cooks, breastfeeds her son, and puts straw before his animal but not before his cattle. Comment: [If] her son died, she is not obliged to breastfeed for pay and give him the pay. Likewise, his son from another wife -- she is not obliged to breastfeed him (Ran, chapter Af Al Pi).

ז הִכְנִיסָה לוֹ שִׁפְחָה אַחַת, אוֹ נְכָסִים שֶׁרָאוּי לִקְנוֹת מֵהֶן שִׁפְחָה אַחַת, אוֹ שֶׁהָיָה לוֹ מָמוֹן כְּדֵי לִקְנוֹת מִמֶּנּוֹ שִׁפְחָה אַחַת, אֵינָהּ מַטְחֶנֶת וְלֹא אוֹפָה וְלֹא מְכַבֶּסֶת וְלֹא נוֹתֶנֶת תֶּבֶן לִפְנֵי בְּהֶמְתּוֹ:

7 [If] she brought [into the marriage] for him a single slavewoman or property suitable for acquiring, from it, a single slavewoman -- or if he had money sufficient to buy from it a single slavewoman -- she doesn't grind, nor bake, nor launder, nor place straw before his animal.

ח הִכְנִיסָה לוֹ שְׁתֵּי שְׁפָחוֹת, אוֹ נְכָסִים הָרְאוּיִים לִקְנוֹת מֵהֶם שְׁתֵּי שְׁפָחוֹת, אוֹ שֶׁהָיוּ לוֹ שְׁתֵּי שְׁפָחוֹת, אוֹ שֶׁהָיָה רָאוּי לִקְנוֹת שְׁתֵּי שְׁפָחוֹת, אֵינָהּ מְבַשֶּׁלֶת וְאֵינָה מֵינִיקָה אֶת בְּנָהּ. הַגָּה: הִכְנִיסָה לוֹ שָׁלשׁ שְׁפָחוֹת, אוֹ מָמוֹן, אוֹ שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ מָמוֹן שֶׁיָּכוֹל לִקְנוֹת אוֹ לִשְׂכֹּר, אֵינָהּ מַצַּעַת הַמִּטּוֹת, רַק מִטָּתוֹ (הָרַ"ן בְּשֵׁם יֵשׁ מְפָרְשִׁים); יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּאַף מִטָּתוֹ אֵינָהּ מַצַּעַת, רַק בִּפְרִיסַת סְדִינִין, וּמְסַדֶּרֶת לוֹ מִטָּתוֹ שֶׁהוּא דֶּרֶךְ חִבָּה, וְכָל אִשָּׁה תַּעֲשֶׂה זֶה אֲפִלּוּ יֵשׁ לָהּ כַּמָּה שְׁפָחוֹת (טוּר):

8 [If] she brought [into the marriage] for him two slavewomen, or property suitable for acquiring, from it, two slavewomen, or [if] he had two slavewomen or was fit to acquire two slavewomen, [then] she doesn't cook and doesn't breastfeed her son. Comment: [If] she brought in for him three slavewomen, or money, or [if] he has money [with which] he can acquire or hire [them], [then] she doesn't make the beds, except his bed (Ran in the name of "some explain"). Some say she doesn't make even his bed except by spreading sheets; and she organizes his bed for him, as that is a way of affection, and every woman shall do this even if she has a number of slavewomen (Tur).

ט הִיא אוֹמֶרֶת: רָאוּי הוּא לִקְנוֹת אוֹ לִשְׂכֹּר שִׁפְחָה, וְהוּא אוֹמֵר שֶׁאֵינוֹ רָאוּי, עָלֶיהָ לְהָבִיא רְאָיָה:

9 [If] she says he is fit to purchase or hire a slavewoman and he says he's not fit [to], the burden of proof is upon her.

י כָּל אֵלּוּ הַמְּלָאכוֹת אֵין מְחַיְּבִים אוֹתָהּ, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן יִהְיֶה דֶּרֶךְ מִשְׁפַּחְתּוֹ וּמִשְׁפַּחְתָּהּ לַעֲשׂוֹתָן:

10 We do not obligate her in all these labors unless it is the way of his family and her family to do them.

יא כָּל זְמַן שֶׁהִיא מֵינִיקָה אֶת בְּנָהּ, פּוֹחֲתִין לָהּ מִמַּעֲשֵׂה יָדֶיהָ וּמוֹסִיפִים לָהּ עַל מְזוֹנוֹתֶיהָ יַיִן וּדְבָרִים שֶׁיָּפִים לְחָלָב. לֹא הוֹסִיפוּ לָהּ, צְרִיכָה לֶאֱכֹל מִשֶּׁלָּהּ, אִם יֵשׁ לָהּ (טוּר):

11 All the time she is breastfeeding his son, we deduct for her from her handiwork; and we add wine and things that are good for milk to her sustenance. [If] they didn't add for her, she must eat of her own if she has (Tur).

יב פָּסְקוּ לָהּ מְזוֹנוֹת הָרְאוּיִים לָהּ, וַהֲרֵי הִיא מִתְאַוָּה לֶאֱכֹל יוֹתֵר, אוֹ לֶאֱכֹל מַאֲכָלוֹת אֲחֵרוֹת, יֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר שֶׁאֵין הַבַּעַל יָכוֹל לְעַכֵּב, מִפְּנֵי סַכָּנַת הַוָּלָד, שֶׁצַּעַר גּוּפָה קוֹדֵם; וְיֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר שֶׁיָּכוֹל לְעַכֵּב:

12 If they allocated sustenance appropriate for her, but she desires to eat more or to eat different foods, one authority say that the husband cannot withhold this, for fear of harming the child, for the discomfort of her body takes precedence, but another authority says that he may withhold.

יג יָלְדָה תְּאוֹמִים, אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ לְהָנִיק שְׁנֵיהֶם, אֶלָּא מֵינִיקָה אֶחָד וְשׂוֹכֵר הַבַּעַל מֵינִיקָה לַשֵּׁנִי. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּמֵינִיקָה שְׁנֵיהֶם (טוּר בְּשֵׁם הָרֹא"שׁ):

13 If she gave birth to twins, we do not force her to breastfeed both, rather she feeds one, and the husband hires a wet nurse to feed the second. Rema: Some authorities say that she feeds both (Tur in the name of Rosh).

יד הֲרֵי שֶׁרָצְתָה לְהָנִיק בֶּן חֲבֶרְתָּהּ עִם בְּנָהּ, הַבַּעַל מְעַכֵּב. וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּנָהּ מֵאִישׁ אַחֵר הוּא יָכוֹל לְעַכֵּב (טוּר):

14 If she wanted to feed her friend's son along with her own son, the husband may prevent this. Rema: Even with regards to her son from another man the husband may prevent this.

טו כָּל אִשָּׁה שֶׁתִּמָנַע מִלַּעֲשׂוֹת מְלָאכָה מִמְּלָאכוֹת שֶׁהִיא חַיֶּבֶת לַעֲשׂוֹתָן, כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ לַעֲשׂוֹת. הַגָּה: וְאֵינוֹ זָנָהּ עַד שֶׁתַּעֲשֶׂה; וְכֵן בֵּית דִּין מְשַׁמְּתִין אוֹתָהּ אוֹ מוֹכְרִין כְּתֻבָּתָהּ לִשְׂכֹּר עָלֶיהָ עֶבֶד אוֹ שִׁפְחָה (הַמַּגִּיד מִשְׁנֶה פֶּרֶק כ"א בְּשֵׁם הָרַמְבַּ"ן וְהָרַשְׁבָּ"א); וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּכוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ בְּשׁוֹטִים (טוּר בְּשֵׁם הָרַמְבַּ"ם). וְכָל זֶה בְּאוֹמֶרֶת: אֵינִי עוֹשָׂה, וְנִזּוֹנֵית; אֲבָל אִם אוֹמֶרֶת: אֵינִי נִזּוֹנֵית וְאֵינִי עוֹשָׂה, הָרְשׁוּת בְּיָדָהּ (בֵּית יוֹסֵף לְדַעַת הָרַמְבַּ"ם וְכֵן כָּתַב הָרַ"ן), וּכְמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סִימָן ס"ט; וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דַּאֲפִלּוּ בְּאוֹמֶרֶת: אֵינִי נִזּוֹנֵית וְאֵינִי עוֹשָׂה, צְרִיכָה לַעֲשׂוֹת צָרְכֵי הַבַּיִת, וְלָזֶה כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינָהּ נִזּוֹנֵית (גַּם זֶה בֵּית יוֹסֵף לְדַעַת הָרַמְבַּ"ם לְחַד שִׁנּוּיָא):

15 Any woman who refuses to do her required work is forced to do these tasks. hagah: and he does not have to feed her (buy her food) until she does these things. Bet din will even sell the rights of her ketubah (which is a commodity and sell-able) in order to use the profits of the sale to hire a maid. some people say that we force her with a whip. All this applies if she said expressed that she wants to be supported while doing no tasks. But, if she said that she will forgo her support from her husband in exchange for not doing her tasks, she is allowed to do so. This is similar to what we said before in siman 69. Some say, that even if she says she will forgo her support for her work, she still needs to do household work. and for these types of chores we force her, even if she says she will give up her husband's support (food).

טז טָעַן הוּא שֶׁאֵינָהּ עוֹשָׂה, וְהִיא אוֹמֶרֶת שֶׁאֵינָהּ נִמְנַעַת מִלַּעַשׂוֹתָן, מוֹשִׁיבִין אִשָּׁה בֵּינֵיהֶם, אוֹ שְׁכֵנִים:

16 If a person claims that his wife is not doing ( her duties?) and she claims that she is not abstaining from doing, then a woman or neighbors are places among them ( to determine the validity of the claim).

יז הָאִשָּׁה שֶׁשָּׁבְרָה כֵּלִים בְּעֵת שֶׁעָשְׂתָה מְלָאכוֹתֶיהָ בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתָהּ, פְּטוּרָה:

17 A woman who breaks dishes while working in her own house is exempt ( of fine/ retribution).

יח מִי שֶׁהִתְנָה עִם אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יִתְחַיֵּב בִּמְזוֹנוֹתֶיהָ וְכֵן הִיא לֹא תִּתְחַיֵּב לוֹ בְּמַעֲשֵׂה יָדֶיהָ, אִם אַחַר כָּךְ רָצָה וְנִתְחַיֵּב הוּא לָתֵת לָהּ (בְּמַתָּנָה) מְזוֹנוֹתֶיהָ, אֵין מַעֲשֵׂה יָדֶיהָ שֶׁלּוֹ. הַגָּה: אִשָּׁה שֶׁשָּׁתְקָה וְלֹא תָּבְעָה מְזוֹנוֹת וְלֹא מָעָה כֶּסֶף, מִן הַסְּתָם מַעֲשֵׂה יָדֶיהָ עִם הַמּוֹתָר שֶׁלָּהּ, וְלֹא אָמְרִינָן שֶׁמָּחֲלָה מַעֲשֵׂה יָדֶיהָ (הָרַ"ן פֶּרֶק אַף עַל פִּי); אֲבָל מַה שֶּׁאֵינוֹ מַסְפִּיק לָהּ, אֵין הַבַּעַל צָרִיךְ לְשַׁלֵּם לָהּ, דְּוַדַּאי מָחֲלָה. אִשָּׁה שֶׁהָלְכָה מִבֵּית בַּעֲלָהּ מִכֹּחַ קְטָטָה, וְאֵינָהּ רוֹצָה לָשׁוּב לְבֵיתוֹ עַד שֶׁיִּקְרָא לָהּ בַּעֲלָהּ, לֹא הִפְסִידָה מִשּׁוּם זֶה מְזוֹנוֹתֶיהָ, דְּבוֹשָׁה מִמֶּנּוּ לָשׁוּב, מֵאַחַר שֶׁיָּצְאָה בְּלֹא רְשׁוּתוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מַרְאֶה לָהּ פָּנִים, וְאִם הוּא יָבוֹא אֶצְלָהּ אֵינָהּ מוֹנַעְתּוֹ מִכְּלוּם; אֲבָל אִם אֵינָהּ רוֹצָה לָבוֹא אֶצְלוֹ עַד שֶׁיִּפְרַע מַה שֶׁלָּוְתָה, אִבְּדָה מְזוֹנוֹתֶיהָ, דְּהָוֵי כְּמוֹרֶדֶת, דְּכָל מוֹרֶדֶת טַעֲנָה אִית לָהּ. וְכָל אִשָּׁה יֵשׁ לָהּ מְזוֹנוֹת אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵין כְּתֻבָּתָהּ בְּיָדָהּ, וְאֵינוֹ נֶאֱמָן לוֹמַר שֶׁמָּחֲלָה לוֹ, רַק בִּרְאָיָה בְּרוּרָה; וַאֲפִלּוּ עַל מְזוֹנוֹת שֶׁעָבְרוּ, אִם לֹא טָעַן לֹא טַעֲנִינָן לֵהּ, וְצָרִיךְ לִשָּׁבַע שֶׁמָּחֲלָה לוֹ (כָּל זֶה בִּתְשׁוּבַת הָרַשְׁבָּ"א הוּבְאָה בַּבֵּית יוֹסֵף סִימָן ע"ז):

18 A man who made a condition with his wife that he would not be responsible for her sustenance and similarly she would not be required to hand over the fruits of her labor, if he subsequently desired to do so and agreed to be responsible for her sustenance Rema: as a gift, he does not [automatically] receive the fruits of her labor. Rema: A woman who was silent and did not claim her sustenance or [weekly allowance of] one ma'ah silver coin, we presume that she retains the rights to her [basic] labor along with any extra labor, and we do not say that she relinquished her rights to her labor (Ran chapter Af Al Pi). But that which is not sufficient for her (i.e. she did not earn enough to satisfy her needs), the husband is not required to pay, for she certainly relinquished her rights. A woman who left her husband's house due to a squabble, and does not want to return to his house until he calls her back, she does not lose her sustenance, for she is embarrassed to return after she left without his permission and he does not show her [a kind] face, and if he were to come to her, she would not deny him anything. But if she does not want to return to him until he repays her loans (that she borrowed to purchase food), she thereby loses support, for she has a status of a rebellious wife, and every rebellious wife has some complaint (rather she should first return and then settle accounts). Every wife has rights to sustenance even if she does not have possession of her ketuba, and he is not believed with a claim that she relinquished her rights to him, except with clear proof. And even with respect to [unpaid] support in the past, if he does not argue [that he was not required to pay] we do not argue for him, and he must swear that she relinquished her rights [to sustenance] (All this is in Responsa Rashba, cited in Beit Yosef chapter 77).

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