Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer Siman 82

Siman 82

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א נָדְרָה שֶׁלֹּא לְהֵנִיק אֶת בְּנָהּ, כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ וּמֵינִיקָתוֹ עַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים וְאַרְבָּעָה חֹדֶשׁ, אֶחָד הַזָּכָר וְאֶחָד הַנְּקֵבָה:
1 If a woman vowed that she would not nurse her child, we compel her and she nurses the child until [the baby] is 24 months old, whether [the baby] is male or female.
ב הִיא אוֹמֶרֶת: אֲנִי אָנִיק אֶת בְּנִי, וְהוּא אֵינוֹ רוֹצֶה, שׁוֹמְעִין לָהּ:
2 If she says: "I am breastfeeding my child, but [the husband] does not want [her to breastfeed]," we listen to her.
ג הָיְתָה עֲנִיָּה שֶׁחַיֶּבֶת לְהֵנִיק אֶת בְּנָהּ, וְהוּא עָשִׁיר שֶׁרָאוּי לוֹ שֶׁלֹּא תֵּנִיק אִשְׁתּוֹ, אִם רָצְתָה, שׂוֹכֵר מֵינִיקָה אוֹ קוֹנֶה שִׁפְחָה, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁעוֹלָה עִמּוֹ וְאֵינָהּ יוֹרֶדֶת:
3 If she was so poor that she was required to breastfeed her child, and [her husband] was rich enough that he considered it appropriate for his wife not to breastfeed: if she is willing, he hires a wet nurse or buys a maidservant, since she should be elevated [in status] with him and she should not bring him down [in status].
ד הִיא אוֹמֶרֶת: רָאוּי לִשְׂכֹּר אוֹ לִקְנוֹת שִׁפְחָה, וְהוּא אוֹמֵר: אֵינִי רָאוּי, עָלֶיהָ לְהָבִיא רְאָיָה:
4 If she says: it's appropriate to hire or buy a maidservant, and he says: it is not appropriate, [the burden] is on her to bring proof.
ה הָאִשָּׁה שֶׁנִּתְגָּרְשָׁה, אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ לְהֵנִיק אֶת בְּנָהּ, אֶלָּא אִם רָצְתָה, נוֹתֵן לָהּ שְׂכָרָהּ וּמֵינִיקָתוֹ; וְאִם לֹא רָצְתָה, נוֹתֶנֶת לוֹ אֶת בְּנוֹ וְהוּא מְטָפֵּל בּוֹ. בַּמֶּה דְבָרִים אֲמוּרִים, שֶׁלֹּא הֵנִיקָה אוֹתוֹ עַד שֶׁהִכִּירָהּ, אֲבָל אִם הִכִּירָהּ וְאֵינוֹ רוֹצֶה לִינֹק מֵאַחֶרֶת (טוּר), אֲפִלּוּ הוּא סוּמָא, אֵין מַפְרִישִׁין אוֹתוֹ, מִפְּנֵי סַכָּנַת הַוָּלָד, אֶלָּא כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ וּמֵינִיקָתוֹ עַד עֶשְׂרִים וְאַרְבָּעָה חֹדֶשׁ. הַגָּה: וְהוּא נוֹתֵן לָהּ שְׂכַר הֲנָקָה (טוּר). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דַּאֲפִלּוּ אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת, שֶׁהֵנִיקָה וָלָד עַד שֶׁמַּכִּירָהּ, כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ וּמֵינִיקָתוֹ בְּשָׂכָר, מִפְּנֵי סַכָּנַת הַוָּלָד (הַגָּהוֹת אַלְפָסִי פֶּרֶק אַף עַל פִּי). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים הָא דִּגְרוּשָׁה אֵינָהּ מְחֻיֶּבֶת לְהֵנִיק אִם אֵינוֹ מַכִּירָהּ, הַיְנוּ כְּשֶׁמּוֹצֵא מֵינֶקֶת אַחֶרֶת וְיֵשׁ לוֹ לְהַשְׂכִּיר, אֲבָל אִם אֵין לוֹ, כּוֹפֶה אוֹתָהּ וּמֵינִיקָתוֹ (ר"י); אֲבָל אִם הִשְׂכִּירָה כְּבָר עַצְמָהּ לַאֲחֵרִים, וְאוֹתוֹ וָלָד מַכִּירָהּ, אֵין דּוֹחִין אוֹתוֹ וָלָד מִפְּנֵי בְּנָהּ, אֶלָּא בֵּית דִּין מַשְׂכִּירִין לִבְנָהּ מֵינִיקָה אַחֶרֶת (הָרֹא"שׁ כְּלָל י"ז):
5 When a woman is divorced, we do not compel her to breastfeed her child, unless she wants to, in which case [her husband] pays her hire [as a wet nurse] and she breastfeeds [the baby]; and if she does not want to, she gives him his child and he raises [the baby]. Which situations are we talking about? That she may [choose to] not breastfeed it until it [is old enough that it] recognizes her, but if it recognizes her Rema: and does not want to breastfeed from another, even if it is blind, we do not separate it [from her], because of danger to the infant, but rather we compel her and she breastfeeds it until it is 24 months old. Rema: And he pays her the hire of breastfeeding. And some say that even another woman, if she breastfeeds a baby until it [is old enough that it] recognizes her, we compel her [to continue] and she nurses it for hire, because of danger to the infant. And some say that this situation where a divorcee is not obligated to breastfeed if [the baby] does not recognize her, this is when another wet nurse is brought in and is available for hire, but if [the husband] does not have one, he compels her and she breastfeeds [the baby]; but if [the wife] already hired herself out to others [as a wet nurse], and that infant recognizes her, we do not force that infant [to stop breastfeeding from her] on account of her own child, rather the court hires a different wet nurse for her child.
ו הַגְּרוּשָׁה אֵין לָהּ מְזוֹנוֹת, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהִיא מֵינִיקָה אֶת בְּנָהּ, אֲבָל נוֹתֵן לָהּ יוֹתֵר עַל שְׂכָרָהּ דְּבָרִים שֶׁהַקָּטָן צָרִיךְ לָהֶם, מִכְּסוּת וּמַאֲכָל וּמַשְׁקֶה וְסִיכָה וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּזֶה; אֲבָל הַמְעֻבֶּרֶת, אֵין לָהּ כְּלוּם:
6 A divorcee is not provided food, even if she is breastfeeding her child, but he gives her, in addition to her hire, things that the child will need, [such as] clothes and food and drinks and ointment and things like that, but a pregnant [divorcee] gets nothing.
ז שָׁלְמוּ חֳדָשָׁיו וּגְמָלַתּוּ, אִם רָצְתָה הַמְגֹרֶשֶׁת שֶׁיִּהְיֶה בְּנָהּ אֶצְלָהּ, אֵין מַפְרִישִׁין אוֹתוֹ מִמֶּנָּה עַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה בֶּן שֵׁשׁ שָׁנִים גְּמוּרוֹת, אֶלָּא כּוֹפִין אֶת אָבִיו וְנוֹתֵן לוֹ מְזוֹנוֹת וְהוּא אֵצֶל אִמּוֹ; וְאַחַר שֵׁשׁ שָׁנִים יֵשׁ לָאָב לוֹמַר: אִם אֵינוֹ אֶצְלִי לֹא אֶתֵּן לוֹ מְזוֹנוֹת. וְהַבַּת אֵצֶל אִמָּהּ לְעוֹלָם, וַאֲפִלּוּ לְאַחַר שֵׁשׁ. כֵּיצַד, הָיָה הָאָב רָאוּי לִצְדָקָה, מוֹצִיאִין מִמֶּנּוּ הָרָאוּי לָהּ בְּעַל כָּרְחוֹ, וְזָנִין אוֹתָהּ וְהִיא אֵצֶל אִמָּהּ; וַאֲפִלּוּ נִשֵּׂאת הָאֵם לְאַחֵר, בִּתָּהּ אֶצְלָהּ וְאָבִיהָ זָן אוֹתָהּ מִשּׁוּם צְדָקָה, עַד שֶׁיָּמוּת הָאָב וְתִזּוֹן אַחַר כָּךְ מִנְּכָסָיו בִּתְנַאי כְּתֻבָּתָהּ וְהִיא אֵצֶל אִמָּהּ. הַגָּה: וְדַוְקָא שֶׁנִּרְאֶה לְבֵית דִּין שֶׁטּוֹב לַבַּת לִהְיוֹת עִם אִמָּהּ, אֲבָל אִם נִרְאֶה לָהֶם שֶׁטּוֹב לָהּ יוֹתֵר לֵישֵׁב עִם בֵּית אָבִיהָ, אֵין הָאֵם יְכוֹלָה לָכֹף שֶׁתִּהְיֶה עִמָּהּ (ר"מ פַּדּוּאָה סִימָן צ"ג). מֵתָה הָאֵם, אֵין אֵם אִמָּהּ יְכוֹלָה לָכֹף שֶׁיִּהְיוּ הַבָּנִים עִמָּהּ (בֵּית יוֹסֵף בְּשֵׁם הָרשב"ץ):
7 When the months are over and [the child] is weaned, if the divorcee wants her child to be with her, we do not separate it from her until it is six full years old, but we compel the father and he provides food while [the child] is with its mother; and after six years the father may say: "if [the child] is not with me I will not provide food." And the daughter is with her mother forever, even after six years. How, if the father was wealthy enough to give tzedakah, we take from him against his will what is appropriate for her, and we feed her while she is with her mother; and even if the mother is married to another, the girl's father feeds her because of [the obligation of] tzedakah while her daughter is with her, until the father dies and she is fed after that from his possessions according to the stipulations of the marriage contract, while she is with her mother. Rema: And specifically when it seems to the court that the daughter should be with her mother, but if seems to them that it would be better for her to stay in her father's house, the mother cannot compel [her daughter] to be with her. If the mother dies, the maternal grandmother cannot compel the children to be with her.
ח אִם לֹא רָצְתָה הָאֵם שֶׁיִּהְיוּ בָּנֶיהָ עִמָּהּ אַחַר שֶׁגְּמָלָתָן, אֶחָד זְכָרִים וְאֶחָד נְקֵבוֹת, הָרְשׁוּת בְּיָדָהּ, וְנוֹתֶנֶת אוֹתָם לַאֲבִיהֶם, אוֹ מַשְׁלֶכֶת אוֹתָם לַקָּהָל אִם אֵין לָהֶם אָב, וְהֵם מְטַפְּלִים בָּהֶם, אֶחָד זְכָרִים וְאֶחָד נְקֵבוֹת:
8 If the mother did not want her children to be with her after they were weaned, whether male or female, that is her prerogative, and she may give them to their father, or send them to the [care of] the community if they do not have a father, and the community raises them, whether male or female.
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