Prohibition of Torah study and of greeting

Siman 210: Prohibition of Torah study and of greeting

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א אָסוּר בְּתַלְמוּד תּוֹרָה, מִשּׁוּם דִּכְתִיב פִּקּוּדֵי ה' יְשָׁרִים מְשַׂמְּחֵי לֵב, וְאָבֵל אָסוּר בְּשִׂמְחָה. וְאָסוּר בַּתּוֹרָה, נְבִיאִים וּכְתוּבִים, מִשְׁנָה, תַּלְמוּד, הֲלָכוֹת וְאַגָּדוֹת. אֲבָל מֻתָּר לִקְרוֹת בְּאִיּוֹב וּבְקִינוֹת, וּבִדְבָרִים הָרָעִים שֶׁבְּסֵפֶר יִרְמְיָה, וּבִגְמָרָא פֶּרֶק אֵלּוּ מְגַלְּחִין, דְּמַיְרִי מִדִינֵי מְנֻדֶּה וְאָבֵל, וּבְמַסֶּכֶת שְׂמָחוֹת. וּבְסִפְרֵי פּוֹסְקִים, מֻתָּר לִלְמוֹד הִלְכוֹת אֲבֵלוּת. וְגַם בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁהוּא מֻתָּר לִלְמוֹד, אָסוּר לְעַיֵן קֻשְיָא אוֹ תֵרוּץ.
1 A mourner is forbidden to study Torah, for it is written, "The precepts of Adonoy, are upright, rejoicing the heart." and a mourner is forbidden to rejoice. He is forbidden to study the Scriptures, the Mishnah, and the Talmud, including the laws and Aggadah. But he is permitted to read the book of Job, Lamentations, and the mournful sections of Jeremiah. In the Talmud, he may study chapter, V'eelu Megalchin, dealing with the laws of the excommunicated and the mourner, and also Maseches Semachos. And in the Seforim (books) of Halachah (laws), he may study the laws concerning mourning. However, he is forbidden to probe and analyze even the subjects he is permitted to study.
ב מְלַמֵּד שֶׁהוּא אָבֵל, לְאַחַר שְׁלשָׁה יָמִים, מֻתָּר לוֹ לִלְמוֹד עִם הַתִּינוֹקוֹת כָּל הַדְבָרִים שֶׁצְּרִיכִין, וְלֹא יִתְבַּטְּלוּ מִלִּמּוּדָם, כִּי תִינוֹקוֹת שֶׁל בֵּית רַבָּן אֲשֶׁר הֶבֶל פִּיהֶם נָקִי מֵחֵטְא, חָבִיב יוֹתֵר מִלִּמּוּד שֶׁל גְּדוֹלִים. וְכֵן אָבֵל שֶׁיֶשׁ לוֹ בָּנִים קְטַנִּים, לֹא יִתְבַּטְּלוּ מִלִּמּוּדָם, שֶׁהֲרֵי אֵינָם חַיָבִים בַּאֲבֵלוּת.
2 After three days of mourning, one who teaches Torah to children is permitted to teach the children everything they need to learn, so that they are not interrupted from their studies; for the (study of) children whose mouths are pure of sin, is more precious than the study of adults. Likewise a mourner's young children should not be interrupted from their studies, for they are not obligated to observe mourning.
ג אֲפִלּוּ הָאָבֵל הוּא כֹהֵן וְאֵין בְּבֵית הַכְּנֶסֶת אַחֵר, אָסוּר לוֹ לַעֲלוֹת לַתּוֹרָה.
3 Even if the mourner is a Kohein and there is no other Kohein in the synagogue, he is forbidden to go up to read the Torah.
ד בִּתְפִלָּתוֹ כָּל שִׁבְעָה, לֹא יֹאמַר פִּטוּם הַקְּטֹרֶת, וְגַם לֹא יֹאמַר סֵדֶר מַעֲמָדוֹת. וּבְפֶרֶק אֵיזֶהוּ מְקוֹמָן, לֹא יֹאמַר יְהִי רָצוֹן כְּאִלּוּ הִקְרַבְתִּי וְכוּ' (דְּאָבֵל אֵינוֹ מְשַׁלֵּחַ קָרְבְּנוֹתָיו). וּכְשֶׁעוֹשֶׂה הַבְדָּלָה בְּמוֹצָאֵי שַׁבָּת עַל הַכּוֹס, לֹא יֹאמַר פְּסוּקֵי שִׂמְחָה שֶׁקּוֹדְמִים לָהּ, אֶלָּא יַתְחִיל מִן הַבְּרָכוֹת.
4 When he prays during all seven days of mourning, a mourner should not recite Pittum Haketoress, Keitsad [How was the incense compounded] nor should he say Maamados, and after the Chapter of Eizehu Mekoman, he should not say Yehi Ratzon etc. [May it be Your will] (because a mourner may not send offerings). When reciting Havdalah at the conclusion of Shabbos over a cup [of wine], he should not say the introductary verses of joy, but should begin immediately with the berachos.
ה אָבֵל תּוֹךְ שִׁבְעָה, אֵין לוֹ לְהִתְפַּלֵּל לִפְנֵי הַתֵּבָה אֶלָּא אִם אֵין שָׁם אַחֵר שֶׁיִתְפַּלֵל. אַךְ אִם הוּא אָבֵל עַל אָבִיו אוֹ אִמּוֹ, נוֹהֲגִין שֶׁמִּתְפַּלְּלִין לִפְנֵי הַתֵּבָה, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁיֶשׁ שָׁם אַחֵר. וּבְשַׁבָּתוֹת וְיָמִים טוֹבִים, נוֹהֲגִין שֶׁאֵינוֹ מִתְפַּלֵל לִפְנֵי הַתֵּבָה כָּל הַשָּׁנָה אֶלָּא בִּדְלֵיכָּא אַחֵר. וְאִם הָיָה דַרְכּוֹ לְהִתְפַּלֵּל לִפְנֵי הַתֵּבָה גַּם קֹדֶם שֶׁנַּעֲשָּה אָבֵל, יֵשׁ לְהַתִּיר בְּכָל עִנְיָן (מֵּאִיר נְתִיבִים סִימָן פ). וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל סִימָן קכח סָעִיף ח (שעו שפד)
5 During his seven days of mourning a mourner should not officiate as Chazzan unless there is no one else to lead the prayers. But if he is in mourning for his father or mother, the custom is to permit him to be the Chazzan even if there is someone else capable of doing so. It is customary that a mourner not be the Chazzan on Shabbos and Yom Tov during his entire year [of mourning] unless there is no one else to do so. If he was accustomed to be the Chazzan even before he became a mourner, he is permitted to do so in any event. See Chapter 128:8 above.
ו שְׁאִילַת שָׁלוֹם כֵּיצַד. שְׁלשָׁה יָמִים הָרִאשוֹנִים, אֵינוֹ שׁוֹאֵל בִּשְׁלוֹם כָּל אָדָם. וְאִם אֲחֵרִים שֶׁלֹּא יָדְעוּ שֶׁהוּא אָבֵל שָׁאֲלוּ בִשְׁלוֹמוֹ, לֹא יְשִׁיבֵם שָׁלוֹם, אֶלָּא יוֹדִיעֵם שֶׁהוּא אָבֵל. וּלְאַחַר שְׁלֹשָׁה עַד שִׁבְעָה, אֵינוֹ שׁוֹאֵל. וְאִם אֲחֵרִים שֶׁלֹּא יָדְעוּ שָׁאֲלוּ בִשְׁלוֹמוֹ, מֵשִׁיב לָהֶם. מִשִּׁבְעָה עַד שְׁלֹשִׁים, הוּא שׁוֹאֵל בִּשְׁלוֹם אֲחֵרִים, שֶׁהֲרֵי הָאֲחֵרים שְׁרוּיִן בְּשָׁלוֹם. וְאֵין אֲחֵרִים שׁוֹאֲלִין בִּשְׁלוֹמוֹ, שֶׁהֲרֵי הוּא אֵינוֹ שָׁרוּי בְשָׁלוֹם. וְאִם לֹא יָדְעוּ וְשָׁאֲלוּ, מֵשִׁיב לָהֶם. לְאַחַר שְׁלֹשִׁים, הֲרֵי הוּא כִּשְׁאָר כָּל אָדָם.
6 What is the rule concerning the exchange of greetings? During the first three days, a mourner must not greet anyone. If others who are unaware that he is a mourner greet him, he should not return the greeting, but should inform them that he is a mourner. From the third day until the seventh day, he must not greet anyone, but if others who unaware that he is a mourner greet him, he may respond to their greetings. From the seventh until the thirtieth day, he may extend greetings to others for they have peace of mind, but others should not greet him because he lacks peace of mind. If they did not know he is a mourner and they greeted him, he may respond to their greetings. After thirty days, he may exchange greetings like anyone else.
ז כֵּיוָן שֶׁהוּא אָסוּר בִּשְׁאֵילַת שָׁלוֹם, מִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן שֶׁאָסוּר בִשְׂחוֹק. וְלָכֵן כָּל שִׁבְעָה לֹא יֹאחַז תִּינוֹק בְּיָדוֹ, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יְבִאֶנּוּ לִידֵי שְׂחוֹק. וְכֵן אָסוּר לוֹ לְהַרְבּוֹת בִּדְבָרִים עִם הַבְּרִיּוֹת. אַךְ אִם עוֹשֶׂה לִכְבוֹד רַבִּים, כְּגוֹן שֶׁרַבִּים בָּאִים לְנַחֲמוֹ, מֻתָּר לוֹ לוֹמַר לָהֶם לְכוּ לְבָתֵּיכֶם לְשָׁלוֹם, דְּלִכְבוֹד רַבִּים שָׁרֵי.
7 Since he is forbidden to greet anybody, he is certainly forbidden to laugh. Therefore, during the seven days of mourning, he must not take a child in his arms, so he should not be induced to laughter. He is also forbidden to engage in lengthy conversation with people. However, if he does so out of respect for a group of people, as when many come together to console him, he is permitted to say (when they are leaving), "Go to your homes in peace," for out of respect for a group of people, it is permitted.
ח מָקוֹם שֶׁנָּהֲגוּ לִשְׁאוֹל בִּשְׁלוֹם אֲבֵלִים בַּשַׁבָּת, שׁוֹאֲלִים. וְהָאָבֵל נוֹתֵן שָׁלוֹם לְכָל אָדָם בַשַׁבָּת, כִּי דָבָר שֶׁבְּפַרְהֶסְיָא הוּא.
8 In a place where it is customary to greet the mourners on Shabbos, you may do so. The mourner may greet everybody on Shabbos since it is done publicly.
ט מֻתָּר לְבָרֵךְ שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ אֲפִלּוּ תּוֹךְ שִׁבְעָה כְּשֶׁהוּא צָרִיךְ, כְּגוֹן בַּחֲנֻכָּה אוֹ עַל פְּרִי חָדָשׁ וְכַדּוֹמֶה.
9 He is permitted to say the berachah, Shehecheyanu even during the seven days of mourning, when it is necessary, for instance on Chanukah, or when eating a new fruit and the like.
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