א אִם הָיָה נָשׂוּי, לֹא יְהֵא רָגִיל בְּיוֹתֵר עִם אִשְׁתּוֹ, אֶלָּא בָּעוֹנָה הָאֲמוּרָה בַּתּוֹרָה. הַטַּיָּלִים, שֶׁפַּרְנָסָתָן מְצוּיָה לָהֶם וְאֵין פּוֹרְעִין מַס, עוֹנָתָן בְּכָל יוֹם; הַפּוֹעֲלִים שֶׁעוֹשִׂים מְלָאכָה בְּעִיר אַחֶרֶת וְלָנִין בְּכָל לַיְלָה בְּבָתֵּיהֶם, פַּעַם אַחַת בְּשָׁבוּעַ; וְאִם עוֹשִׂים מְלָאכָה בְּעִירָם, פַּעֲמַיִם בְּשָׁבוּעַ; הָחַמָּרִים, אַחַת בְּשָׁבוּעַ; הַגַּמָּלִים, אַחַת לְל' יוֹם; הַסַפָּנִים, אַחַת לְשִׁשָּׁה חֳדָשִׁים; וְעוֹנַת תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים מִלֵּיל שַׁבָּת לְלֵיל שַׁבָּת; וְכָל אָדָם צָרִיךְ לִפְקֹד אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ בְּלֵיל טְבִילָתָהּ, וּבְשָׁעָה שֶׁיּוֹצֵא לַדֶּרֶךְ אִם אֵינוֹ הוֹלֵךְ לִדְבַר מִצְוָה, וְכֵן אִם אִשְׁתּוֹ מֵינִיקָה וְהוּא מַכִּיר בָּהּ שֶׁהִיא מְשַׁדַּלְתּוֹ וּמְרַצָּה אוֹתוֹ וּמְקַשֶּׁטֶת עַצְמָהּ לְפָנָיו כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּתֵּן דַּעְתּוֹ עָלֶיהָ, חַיָּב לְפָקְדָהּ. וְאַף כְּשֶׁהוּא מָצוּי אֶצְלָהּ לֹא יְכַוֵּן לַהֲנָאָתוֹ, אֶלָּא כְּאָדָם שֶׁפּוֹרֵעַ חוֹבוֹ שֶׁהוּא חַיָּב בְּעוֹנָתָהּ וּלְקַיֵּם מִצְוַת בּוֹרְאוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיוּ לוֹ בָּנִים עוֹסְקִים בַּתּוֹרָה וּמְקַיְּמִים מִצְווֹת בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל; וְכֵן אִם מְכַוֵּן לְתִקּוּן הַוָּלָד, שֶׁבְּשִׁשָּׁה חֳדָשִׁים אַחֲרוֹנִים יָפֶה לוֹ שֶׁמִּתּוֹךְ כָּךְ יֵצֵא מְלֻבָּן וּמְזֹרָז, שַׁפִּיר דָּמִי; וְאִם הוּא מְכַוֵּן לִגְדֹּר עַצְמוֹ בָּהּ כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִתְאַוֶּה לַעֲבֵרָה, כִּי רוֹאֶה יִצְרוֹ גּוֹבֵר וּמִתְאַוֶּה אֶל הַדָּבָר הַהוּא. הַגָּה: גַּם בָּזֶה יֵשׁ קִבּוּל שָׂכָר, אַךְ (טוּר) יוֹתֵר טוֹב הָיָה לוֹ לִדְחוֹת אֶת יִצְרוֹ וְלִכְבֹּשׁ אוֹתוֹ, כִּי אֵבֶר קָטָן יֵשׁ בָּאָדָם: מַרְעִיבוֹ, שָׂבֵעַ; מַשְׂבִּיעוֹ, רָעֵב; אֲבָל מִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ צָרִיךְ לַדָּבָר, אֶלָּא שֶׁמְּעוֹרֵר תַּאֲוָתוֹ כְּדֵי לְמַלְּאוֹת תַּאֲוָתוֹ, זוֹ הִיא עֲצַת יֵצֶר הָרַע, וּמִן הַהֶתֵּר יְסִיתֶנּוּ אֶל הָאִסוּר, וְעַל זֶה אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ ז"ל: הַמַּקְשֶׁה עַצְמוֹ לָדַעַת יְהֵא בְּנִדּוּי.
1 If a person is married, he should not be too frequent in his relations with his wife, but rather according to the schedule specified in the Torah. Idle men, who have means of living and do not pay taxes, their schedule is once every day; hired hands who work in another town and sleep every night at their homes, once a week; and if they work in their own town, twice a week; donkey drivers, once a week; camel drivers, once in thirty days; seamen, once in six months; the schedule of Torah Scholars is from Friday night to Friday night; and every man should visit his wife on the night she immerses, and before he embarks on a journey unless it is for a mitzvah matter. This applies [even] if his wife is nursing a child; and [if] he realizes that she is soliciting him and seeking to please him and preens herself before him so that he would pay attention to her, he must visit her. Even when he is with her, he should not seek his own pleasure, but be like someone paying his debt that he owes her at her schedule, and to fulfil the obligation of his Creator, so that he may have children who study Torah and keep mitzvot in Israel; and so too if his intent is for the benefit of the fetus, since during the last six months it benefits it, causing it to come out purified and lively, it is good; and also if he intends to restrain himself through her in order to prevent him from lusting after sin, since he sees his urges getting the better of him and lusting after that thing. Rema: For this too one receives reward, but it would have been better if he would resist his urges and overcome them, since man has a small member: when he starves it, he is satisfied; when he satisfies it, he starves. But anyone who doesn't need it, but arouses his lust to fulfil his desires, this is the evil urge's counsel, and from what is permitted to him it will lead him to what is prohibited, and about this our Rabbis o.b.m. said: One who hardens himself intentionally shall be in niduy.