Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah Siman 374

Siman 374

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א מִצְוָה לְהִטָּמְאוֹת לְמֵת מִצְוָה, אֲפִלּוּ הוּא כֹּהֵן גָּדוֹל וְנָזִיר וְהוֹלֵךְ לִשְׁחֹט אֶת פִּסְחוֹ, וְלָמוּל אֶת בְּנוֹ, וּמָצָא מֵת מִצְוָה, הֲרֵי זֶה מִטָּמֵא לוֹ.
1 It is a religious obligation to defile oneself for a corpse [whose burial is] a religious duty, even if one is a High priest or a Nazirite and he was going to slaughter his Paschal lamb or to circumcise his son and [on the way] he found a corpse [whose burial is] a religious duty, — [the law is that] he defiles himself for him.
ב אֵינוֹ נִקְרָא מֵת מִצְוָה לְעִנְיָן זֶה, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן מָצָא רֹאשׁוֹ וְרֻבּוֹ. וְאִם מָצָא רֹאשׁוֹ וְרֻבּוֹ חוּץ מֵאֵבֶר אֶחָד, חוֹזֵר לִטָּמֵא בִּשְׁבִיל אוֹתוֹ אֵבֶר.
2 He is designated a corpse [whose burial is] a religious duty with respect to this matter [of defilement], only if he found his head and the larger portion [of his body]. If, however, he found his head and the larger portion [of his body] save one limb, he may [later] return to defile himself for that limb [when he finds it].
ג אֵיזֶהוּ מֵת מִצְוָה, שֶׁמְּצָאוֹ בַּדֶּרֶךְ אוֹ בְּעִיר שֶׁל עוֹבְדֵי כּוֹכָבִים, וְאֵין לוֹ קוֹבְרִים, וּמִמָּקוֹם שֶׁמְּצָאוֹ אֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לִקְרוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁיַּעֲנֵהוּ וְיָבֹא לְטַפֵּל בּוֹ וּלְקָבְרוֹ, אָסוּר לוֹ לָזוּז מִשָּׁם וּלְהַנִּיחַ אֶת הַמֵּת, אֲפִלּוּ לֵילֵךְ לָעִיר לְהָבִיא קוֹבְרִים, אֶלָּא יְטַמֵּא עַצְמוֹ וְיִקְבְּרֶנּוּ. אֲבָל אִם הָיוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל קְרוֹבִים לִמְקוֹם הַמֵּת, שֶׁהַמּוֹצֵא אֶת הַמֵּת קוֹרֵא אוֹתָם וְהֵם עוֹנִים לוֹ וּבָאִים לְקָבְרוֹ, אֵין זֶה מֵת מִצְוָה שֶׁיִּטָּמֵא עָלָיו הַכֹּהֵן, אֶלָּא קוֹרֵא אוֹתָם וְהֵם קוֹבְרִים. בָּאוּ בְּנֵי הָעִיר, אִם יֵשׁ לוֹ כָּל צָרְכּוֹ, מוֹשֵׁךְ אֶת יָדָיו. (לְשׁוֹן רַמְבַּ"ן בתה"א ורא"ש בְּהִלְכוֹת טֻמְאָה) הַגָּה: יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים אִם אֵינוֹ מוֹצֵא שֶׁיִּקְבְּרוּהוּ, רַק בְּשָׂכָר, אֵינוֹ חַיָּב לִשְׂכֹּר מִשֶּׁלּוֹ, אֶלָּא מִטָּמֵא, אִם יִרְצֶה (נ"י פֶּרֶק הָאִשָּׁה רַבָּה בְּשֵׁם ריטב"א). מֵת הַנִּמְצָא, וְלֹא יַדְעִינָן אִם עוֹבֵד כּוֹכָבִים אִם יִשְׂרָאֵל הוּא, אַזְלִינָן בָּתַר רֻבָּא הַנִּמְצָאִים שָׁם, אִם יֵשׁ, שֶׁלֹּא נוּכַל לוֹמַר כָּל קָבוּעַ כְּמֶחֱצָה עַל מֶחֱצָה (בֵּית יוֹסֵף בְּשֵׁם תְּשׁוּבַת הָרַשְׁבָּ"א).
3 Who is regarded as a corpse [whose burial] is a religious duty? — One whom he found on the road or in a town of heathens, and there is no one [available] to bury him, and from the spot where he found him he could not call upon an Israelite to answer him and come to attend to him and bury him, — [the law is that] he is forbidden to depart therefrom and leave the corpse, even to go to the town [in order] to fetch [people] to attend to the burial rites, but he should defile himself [for him] and bury him. But if there were Israelites [available] in proximity of the spot of the corpse, [so] that if the one who finds him would call upon them, they would answer him, and come to bury him, — such a one is not regarded as a corpse [whose burial] is a religious duty for whom the Kohen should defile himself, but he calls upon them and they bury [him]. [If] the townspeople came, [then the law is that] if his needs are adequately attended to, he withdraws himself. Rema: Some say that if he is able to secure people to bury him only [ if he hires them ] for money, he is not bound to hire [ them ] with his own [ money ], but he may defile himself [ for the corpse ], if he so desires. [ In the case of ] a corpse that is found and we do not know whether he is a Gentile or an Israelite, we decide according to the majority of those present there, unless we can apply [ the principle ] that everything which is stationary is regarded as half to half.
ד כָּל הַקְּרוֹבִים שֶׁהַכֹּהֵן מִטָּמֵא לָהֶם, שֶׁהֵם: אָבִיו, וְאִמּוֹ, וּבְנוֹ, וּבִתּוֹ, וְאָחִיו, וַאֲחוֹתוֹ מֵאָבִיו הַבְּתוּלָה, וְאִשְׁתּוֹ, מִתְאַבְּלִים עֲלֵיהֶם. וְעוֹד הוֹסִיפוּ עֲלֵיהֶם: אָחִיו מֵאִמּוֹ, וַאֲחוֹתוֹ מֵאִמּוֹ, בֵּין בְּתוּלָה בֵּין נְשׂוּאָה, וַאֲחוֹתוֹ נְשׂוּאָה מֵאָבִיו, שֶׁמִּתְאַבְּלִים עֲלֵיהֶם אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵין כֹּהֵן מִטָּמֵא לָהֶם. וּכְשֵׁם שֶׁהוּא מִתְאַבֵּל עַל אִשְׁתּוֹ, כָּךְ הִיא מִתְאַבֶּלֶת עָלָיו. וְדַוְקָא אִשְׁתּוֹ כְּשֵׁרָה וּנְשׂוּאָה, אֲבָל פְּסוּלָה אוֹ אֲרוּסָה, לֹא. אֲבָל בְּנוֹ, וּבִתּוֹ, וְאָחִיו, וַאֲחוֹתוֹ, אֲפִלּוּ הֵם פְּסוּלִים, מִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם, חוּץ מִבְּנוֹ, וּבִתּוֹ וְאָחִיו וַאֲחוֹתוֹ מִשִּׁפְחָה וְכוּתִית, שֶׁאֵינוֹ מִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם.
4 For all the near-of-kin for whom the Kohen defiles himself, viz., his father, mother, son, daughter, [paternal] brother, paternal virgin sister and wife, — one is dutibound to observe mourning rites. To these they added one's maternal brother and one's maternal sister whether a virgin or married, and one's paternal married sister, — for whom one is dutibound to observe mourning rites, although a Kohen does not defile himself for them. And even as he observes mourning rites for his wife, so too, does she observe mourning rites for him. [This applies] only to one's lawful married wife, but for one's unlawful or betrothed [wife] one does not [observe mourning rites]. For one's son, daughter, brother or sister, even if they are illegitimate, he observes mourning, save [in the case of] his son, daughter, brother or sister who are [the issue] of a slave or a heathen, for whom one does not observe mourning rites.
ה הַגֵּר שֶׁנִּתְגַּיֵּר הוּא וּבָנָיו, אוֹ עֶבֶד שֶׁנִּשְׁתַּחְרֵר הוּא וְאִמּוֹ, אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִין זֶה עַל זֶה. וְהוּא הַדִּין גֵּר שֶׁנִּתְגַּיֵּר עִם אִמּוֹ, אֵין מִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם (סְבָרַת הָרַב מֵהַמָּרְדְּכַי הל' שְׂמָחוֹת מִמַּעֲשֶׂה שֶׁבָּא לִפְנֵי ר"י לְמַאי דקי"ל אֲבֵלוּת יוֹם רִאשׁוֹן דְּרַבָּנָן).
5 A stranger who became a proselyte along with his sons, or a slave who was emancipated along with his mother, do not observe mourning rites for one another. Likewise, [ if ] a stranger became a proselyte along with his mother, he does not observe mourning rites for them.
ו כָּל מִי שֶׁמִּתְאַבֵּל עָלָיו, מִתְאַבֵּל עִמּוֹ אִם מֵת לוֹ מֵת. וְדַוְקָא בְּעוֹדוֹ בְּפָנָיו, אֲבָל שֶׁלֹּא בְּפָנָיו אֵין צָרִיךְ לִנְהֹג אֲבֵלוּת; חוּץ מֵאִשְׁתּוֹ, שֶׁאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁמִּתְאַבֵּל עָלֶיהָ אֵינוֹ מִתְאַבֵּל עִמָּהּ אֶלָּא עַל אָבִיהָ אוֹ עַל אִמָּהּ מִשּׁוּם כְּבוֹד חָמִיו וַחֲמוֹתוֹ, אֲבָל עַל אָחִיהָ וַאֲחוֹתָהּ אוֹ בְּנָהּ וּבִתָּהּ מֵאִישׁ אַחֵר, אֵינוֹ מִתְאַבֵּל עִמָּהּ. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם אֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לְכֹפָהּ לְהִתְקַשֵּׁט, אֲבָל יְכוֹלָה לִמְזֹג לוֹ הַכּוֹס וּלְהַצִּיעַ לוֹ הַמִּטָּה וְלִרְחֹץ פָּנָיו יָדָיו וְרַגְלָיו. וְכֵן הִיא אֵינָהּ מִתְאַבֶּלֶת עִמּוֹ, אֶלָּא כְּשֶׁמֵּתוּ חָמִיהָ אוֹ חֲמוֹתָהּ, אֲבָל שְׁאָר קְרוֹבָיו שֶׁמֵּתוּ, אֵינָהּ מִתְאַבֶּלֶת עִמּוֹ. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּהָאִידָּנָא נוֹהֲגִין לְהָקֵל בַּאֲבֵלוּת זֶה שֶׁל הַמִתְאַבְּלִים עִמּוֹ, דְּאֵין זֶה אֶלָּא מִשּׁוּם כְּבוֹד הַמִתְאַבְּלִים, וְעַכְשָׁו נָהֲגוּ כֻּלָּם לִמְחֹל. וְכֵן נוֹהֲגִין הָאִדָּנָא שֶׁלֹּא לְהִתְאַבֵּל כְּלָל עִם הַמִתְאַבְּלִים (טוּר בְּשֵׁם הָרֹא"שׁ וְהוּא בְּפ' א"מ וְרַמְבַּ"ן בת"ה והגמי"י פֶּרֶק א), וְכָל הַמַּחְמִיר בָּזֶה אֵינוֹ אֶלָּא מִן הַמַּתְמִיהִים (הַגָּהוֹת מַיְמוֹנִי פ"ב). וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם נָהֲגוּ שֶׁכָּל קְרוֹבֵי הַמֵּת, הַפְּסוּלִין לוֹ לְעֵדוּת, מַרְאִין קְצָת אֲבֵלוּת בְּעַצְמָן כָּל שָׁבוּעַ הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, דְּהַיְנוּ עַד אַחַר שַׁבָּת הָרִאשׁוֹן, שֶׁאֵינָן רוֹחֲצִים וְאֵין מְשַׁנִּים קְצָת בִּגְדֵיהֶם כְּמוֹ בִּשְׁאָר שַׁבָּת (גְּדוֹלֵי אוסטריי ךָ נָהֲגוּ כֵּן). וְיֵשׁ מְקוֹמוֹת שֶׁנָּהֲגוּ עוֹד לְהַחְמִיר בְּעִנְיָנִים אֲחֵרִים, וְהָעִקָּר כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתַבְתִּי. וְכָל זֶה בִּשְׁמוּעָה קְרוֹבָה, אוֹ שֶׁהָיָה אֵצֶל הַמִּיתָה; אֲבָל בִּשְׁמוּעָה רְחוֹקָה, אֵין לַאֲבֵלוּת זֶה מָקוֹם כְּלָל (תִּמְצָא הַכֹּל מְבֹאָר בת"ה סִימָן רנ"א). מִי שֶׁרוֹצֶה לְהַחְמִיר עַל עַצְמוֹ לְהִתְאַבֵּל עַל מִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ צָרִיךְ, אוֹ לִלְבֹּשׁ שְׁחֹרִים עַל קְרוֹבוֹ, אֵין מוֹחִין בְּיָדוֹ (הָרֹא"שׁ כְּלָל כ"ז דִּין ט').
6 Whomever he mourns for he [also] mourns with if he suffers a breavement. [This applies] only whilst he is in his presence, but when not in his presence, he is not bound to observe mourning rites save [in the case of] his wife, although he mourns for her, — [the law is that] he mourns with her only for her father or her mother [in the case of their death] out of respect to his father-in-law and his mother-in-law; but for her brother and her sister or her son and her daughter [who are the issue] of another man, he does not mourn with her. Nevertheless, he may not compel his [mourning] wife to adorn herself, but she may mix his wine for him and make his bed and wash his face, hands and feet. So too, she mourns with him only when her father-in-law or her mother-in-law died, but [for] all his other near-of-kin who died, she does not mourn with him. Rema: Some say that nowadays we adopt a lenient view regarding this [ type ] of mourning with respect to those who mourn with him, for this is only out of respect to those who observe mourning rites, but now it is the common practice to forego [ this honour ], and thus is the accepted practice nowadays, [ viz.,] not to mourn at all with those who observe mourning rites. He who adopts a stringent view in this [ matter ] is one of those who make people wonder [ at their strange conduct ]. Nevertheless, it is the accepted practice that all the near-of-kin of the dead person who are disqualified to offer testimony in his behalf, exhibit some [ signs ] of mourning [ by placing ] themselves [ under this stringency ] the first entire week, i.e., until after the first Sabbath [ in ] that they do not wash [ themselves ] nor change some of their clothes as on other Sabbaths. There are, however, localities where the accepted usage is to adopt additional stringencies in other matters [ pertaining to this type of mourning ], but the fundamental principle is as I have written [ above ]. All this [ pertains ] to near tidings or to one who was present at the [ time of ] death, but in [ the case of ] distant tidings this type of mourning is entirely out of place. One who desires to place himself under a stringency, [ viz.,] to observe mourning rites for one for whom he is not dutibound [ to mourn ], or to put on dark clothes [ in mourning ] for his near-of-kin, is not reproved [ for doing so ].
ז אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִים עִם הַקְּרוֹבִים שֶׁמִּתְאַבְּלִים עֲלֵיהֶם, אֶלָּא כְּשֶׁמִּתְאַבְּלִים עַל הַקֻּרְבָה דִּשְׁאֵר, כְּגוֹן בְּנוֹ וְאָחִיו שֶׁמִּתְאַבֵּל עַל בֵּן וּבַת שֶׁלָּהֶם; אֲבָל עַל קֻרְבָה דְּקִדּוּשִׁין שֶׁלָּהֶם, כְּגוֹן שֶׁמֵּתָה אֵשֶׁת בְּנוֹ אוֹ אֵשֶׁת אָחִיו אוֹ בַּעַל בִּתּוֹ אוֹ בַּעַל אֲחוֹתוֹ, אֵינוֹ מִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם.
7 One mourns with [his] near-of-kin who mourn for them only when they mourn for a [blood] and flesh relationship, e.g., [in the case of] one's son and brother who mourn for a son and daughter of theirs; but for a relationship [only] through [their] marriage, e.g., if the wife of one's son died or the wife of one's brother or the husband of one's daughter or the husband of one's sister, — one does not observe mourning rites.
ח תִּינוֹק, כָּל שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם וְיוֹם שְׁלֹשִׁים בַּכְּלָל, אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִים עָלָיו, אֲפִלּוּ גָּמְרוּ שְׂעָרוֹ וְצִפָּרְנָיו; וּמִשָּׁם וָאֵילָךְ מִתְאַבֵּל עָלָיו, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן נוֹדַע שֶׁהוּא בֶּן ח'. וְאִי קִים לֵיהּ בֵּיהּ שֶׁכָּלוּ לוֹ חֳדָשָׁיו, כְּגוֹן שֶׁבָּעַל וּפֵרֵשׁ וְנוֹלַד חַי לִט' חֳדָשִׁים גְּמוּרִים, אֲפִלּוּ מֵת בַּיּוֹם שֶׁנּוֹלַד, מִתְאַבְּלִים עָלָיו. סָפֵק בֶּן ט' לָרִאשׁוֹן (אוֹ) בֶּן ז' לָאַחֲרוֹן, שְׁנֵיהֶם מִתְאַבְּלִים עָלָיו (מָרְדְּכַי הִלְכוֹת אֲבֵלוּת וְהַגָּהוֹת מַיְמוֹנִי פֶּרֶק א' וּבֵית יוֹסֵף בְּשֵׁם הַתּוֹסָפוֹת).
8 For an infant throughout the entire thirty days [after birth] including the thirtieth day [who died], one does not observe mourning rites, even if its hair and nails were fully developed; and thenceforth one mourns for it unless it was known that it was [born after] eight months [of pregnancy]. But if one knows for certain that its months [of pregnancy] were complete, e.g., [in the case] where [the husband] performed sexual intercourse and then separated himself [from her], and [the infant] was born alive after nine complete months [of pregnancy], even if it died on the day it was born, one observes mourning rites for it. If it is not known whether it [ was born after ] nine months [ of pregnancy ] by the former [ husband ] or seven months [ of pregnancy ] by the latter [ husband ], both [ husbands ] observe mourning rites for it.
ט יֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר דִּתְאוֹמִים שֶׁמֵּת א' מֵהֶם תּוֹךְ שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם, וְהַשֵּׁנִי חַי וּמֵת אַחַר ל' יוֹם, אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִין עָלָיו.
9 There is an authority who says that twins of whom one died within thirty days [after birth] and the other [continued to] live after thirty days, one does not observe mourning rites for [the one who died].
י עַל רַבּוֹ שֶׁלִּמְּדוֹ חָכְמָה נוֹהֵג דִּינֵי אֲנִינוּת, אֶלָּא שֶׁמְּבָרֵךְ וּמְזַמֵּן וּמִתְאַבֵּל עָלָיו בַּחֲלִיצַת סַנְדָּל וְכָל דִּינֵי אֲבֵלוּת, יוֹם אֶחָד. (וְכָתַב הַבֵּית יוֹסֵף בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי שִׂמְחָה שֶׁצָרִיךְ לְשַׁנּוֹת מְקוֹמוֹ בב"ה, מִיהוּ בְּמִקְצָת הַיּוֹם סָגֵי).
10 For his teacher who taught him wisdom, he observes the laws of Aninuth, only that he may recite the benediction [before] and say grace [after meals], and he mourns for him by removing his sandals [or shoes], and [he observes] all the laws of mourning for one day [only]. Caro writes on the authority of R. Simḥa that he is required to change his [ customary ] place in the Synagogue. However, [ if one does this only ] during part of the day [ it ] suffices.
יא נָשִׂיא, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהַכֹּל מִטָּמְאִין לוֹ, אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִים עָלָיו. הַגָּה: יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּאֵין מִתְאַבְּלִין עַל בֵּן הָרִאשׁוֹן אוֹ בֵּן הַבְּכוֹר שֶׁמֵּת לְאָדָם (כָּל בּוֹ וריב"ש וּבֵית יוֹסֵף הֵבִיאוּ מִי שֶׁנָּהֲגוּ כֵּן, וְהֵם כָּתְבוּ שֶׁהוּא טָעוּת); וְהַמִּנְהָג הוּא מִנְהַג טָעוּת, אֶלָּא חַיָּבִים לְהִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם נִשְׁתַּרְבֵּב הַמִּנְהָג בְּעִירֵנוּ שֶׁאֵין אָב וָאֵם הוֹלְכִים אַחַר בְּנֵיהֶם הָרִאשׁוֹן לְבֵית הַקְּבָרוֹת. יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים בִּשְׁעַת הַדֶּבֶר אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִים, מִשּׁוּם בִּיעֲתוּתָא (תְּשׁוּבַת מהרי"ל סִימָן ג'), וְשָׁמַעְתִּי קְצָת נָהֲגוּ כֵּן.
11 [With respect to] a Nasi, despite the fact that all people may defile themselves for him, — [the law is that] one does not mourn for him. Rema: Some say that one does not mourn for his first son or [ even ] his firstborn son, who died. However, this custom is erroneous, but one is dutibound to mourn for them. Nevertheless, the custom has spread in our city that a father and mother do not follow [ the funeral procession of ] their first son [ on its way ] to the cemetery. Some say that during the time a plague [ rages ] one does not observe mourning rites out of fear, and I have heard that some have adopted this practice.
Previous ChapterNext Chapter