Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah Siman 403

Siman 403

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א הַמְלַקֵט עַצְמוֹת אָבִיו, אוֹ שֶׁל שְׁאָר קְרוֹבִים שֶׁמִּתְאַבְּלִים עֲלֵיהֶם, מִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם כָּל הַיּוֹם כֻּלוֹ, בְּכָל הַדְּבָרִים הַנּוֹהֲגִים בְּאָבֵל, בִּכְפִיַּת הַמִּטָּה וַעֲטִיפַת הָרֹאשׁ וּנְעִילַת הַסַנְדָּל וְתַשְׁמִישׁ הַמִּטָּה וּרְחִיצָה וְסִיכָה; וְלָעֶרֶב אֵין מִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם, אֲפִלוּ צְרוּרִים לוֹ בִּסְדִינוֹ. הָיָה עוֹמֵד וּמְלַקֵט, וְחָשְׁכָה לוֹ, מֻתָּר בַּיּוֹם שֶׁלְאַחֲרָיו. לְפִיכָךְ אֵין מְלַקְטִין אוֹתָם סָמוּךְ לַחֲשֵׁכָה, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיֶה נִמְצָא שֶׁלֹּא הִתְאַבֵּל עַל לִקוּט עַצְמוֹת אָבִיו. וְאֵין אֲנִינוּת בְּלִקּוּט עֲצָמוֹת, רַק חָל עָלָיו אֲבֵלוּת מִיָּד (טוּר בְּשֵׁם הָרֹא"שׁ).
1 One who collects his father's [or his mother's] bones or [the bones] of other near-of-kin for whom one observes mourning rites, mourns for them all day in [that he observes] all matters which apply to a mourner, [viz.,] by over-turning the couch, muffling the head, [by debarring himself from] wearing shoes, [from] using the conjugal couch, [from] bathing and annointing himself. However, in the evening one does not observe mouring rites for them, even if he had them by him tied up in a sheet. [If] he was standing and collecting [the bones] and night fell, he is permitted [the aforementioned matters which are forbidden to a mourner], on the following day. Therefore, one should not collect them close to nightfall so that it should not turn out that he observed no mourning rites for the collection of his father's [or mother's] bones. Aninuth does not [ take effect ] in [ the case of ] a collection of bones [ for final burial ]; only mourning rites become effective forthwith.
ב כָּל שֶׁקוֹרֵעַ עָלָיו בִּשְׁעַת מִיתָתוֹ, קוֹרֵעַ עָלָיו בִּשְׁעַת לִקוּט עֲצָמוֹת. וְכָל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מִתְאַחֶה בִּשְׁעַת מִיתָתוֹ, אֵינוֹ מִתְאַחֶה בִּשְׁעַת לִקוּט עֲצָמוֹת.
2 Whosoever rends [garments] for him at the time of his death, rends [garments] for him at the time of [his] bone-collection; and every [rent] which is not resewn at the time of his death, is not resewn at the time of [his] bone-collection.
ג עֲצָמוֹת, אֵין עוֹמְדִין עֲלֵיהֶם בְּשׁוּרָה, אֲבָל אוֹמְרִים עֲלֵיהֶם תַּנְחוּמִין לְעַצְמָם. וְאֵין מַבְרִין עֲלֵיהֶם בְּחֶבֶר עִיר, אֲבָל מַבְרִין עֲלֵיהֶם בְּבֵיתוֹ. וְאֵין אוֹמְרִים עֲלֵיהֶם קִינָה וּנְהִי, אֲבָל אוֹמְרִים עֲלֵיהֶם קִלוּסִין. דְּהַיְנוּ שִׁבְחוֹ שֶׁל מֵת, וּמְשַׁבְּחִין לְהקב"ה שֶׁמֵּמִית וּמְחַיֶּה (בַּטּוּר תִּמְצָא מְבֹאָר).
3 [With respect to] bones [which are collected for final burial], one does not stand for them in the line [of comforters], but one says words of comfort on their own account. One does not provide the mourner's meal for them in the town-group, but one provides the mourner's meal for them in his house. One does not recite for them lamentations and elegies, but one says for them [words of] praise, [i.e.,] the praise of the departed [ whose bones were collected ] and one praises the Lord who puts to death and makes alive.
ד אֵין מְלַקְטִין עַצְמוֹת אָבִיו בַּמּוֹעֵד, וְאֵין צָרִיךְ לוֹמַר עַצְמוֹת שְׁאָר קְרוֹבִים.
4 One may not collect his father's [or mother's] bones on [ Hol -] ha-Moed, and needless to say, the bones of other near-of-kin.
ה שָׁמַע שֶׁהַיּוֹם לִקְטוּ עַצְמוֹת אֶחָד מִקְרוֹבָיו שֶׁהוּא מִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁלֹּא הָיָה שָׁם, מִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם. אֲבָל שָׁמַע שֶׁנִּלְקְטוּ אֶתְמוֹל, אֵין מִתְאַבֵּל עֲלֵיהֶם (טוּר בְּשֵׁם הַיְּרוּשַׁלְמִי).
5 One who heard that today they collected the bones of his near-of-kin for whom he observes mourning rites, — although he was not [present] there, — observes mourning rites for them. But if he heard that [ the bones ] were collected yesterday, he does not observe mourning rites for them.
ו אֵין מְפָרְקִין אֶת הָעֲצָמוֹת וְלֹא מַפְסִיקִין אֶת הַגִידִים.
6 One must not take apart the [collected] bones nor sever the sinews.
ז לִקוּט עֲצָמוֹת אֵינוֹ אֶלָא מִשֶּׁיִּכְלֶה הַבָּשָׂר; כָּלָה הַבָּשָׂר, אֵין הַצּוּרָה נִכֶּרֶת בָּעֲצָמוֹת, לְפִיכָךְ יָכוֹל לְלַקֵט בְּיָדוֹ עַצְמוֹת אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ; וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן נָכוֹן הַדָּבָר שֶׁלֹּא יִלְקְטֵם הוּא עַצְמוֹ, מֵהַהִיא דְּרַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר בַּר צָדוֹק דִּבְסָמוּךְ.
7 A collection of bones [for final burial] is made only after the flesh has become decomposed; [for] once the flesh is decomposed, the shape of the corpse is no longer discernible through the bones. Therefore, one may collect by himself his father's and mother's bones. Yet, it is [more] proper that one should not collect them by himself. [This is derived] from that [which is related] about R. Eliezer b. Ẓadok [as stated] anon.
ח מְלַקֵט אָדָם עַצְמוֹת שְׁנֵי מֵתִים כְּאֶחָד בְּרֹאשׁ אֲפַרְסְקָל מִכָּאן, וּבְרֹאשׁ אֲפַרְסְקָל מִכָּאן, דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בֶּן נוּרִי. ר"א אוֹמֵר: סוֹף אֲפַרְסְקָל לְהִתְעַכֵּל, וְסוֹף עֲצָמוֹת לְהִתְעַכֵּל, וְנִמְצְאוּ עַצְמוֹת שְׁנֵי מֵתִים מִתְעָרְבִים, אֶלָא מְלַקְטִין וְנוֹתְנִין כָּל אֶחָד לְעַצְמוֹ בְּאָרוֹן שֶׁל אֲרָזִים. אָמַר רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר בַּר צָדוֹק: כָּךְ אָמַר לִי אַבָּא בִּשְׁעַת מִיתָתוֹ: מִתְּחִלָה קִבְרוּנִי בְּבִקְעָה, וּלְבַסוֹף לְקֹט עַצְמוֹתַי וּתְנֵם בָּאֲרָזִים, וְאַל תִּלְקְטֵם אַתָּה בְּיָדְךָ, שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיוּ בְּזוּיוֹת עָלֶיךָ.
8 A person may collect the bones of two corpses at one time, [viz., he places the bones of one corpse] at the end of [his] epikarsion on one side, and [the bones of another corpse] at the [other] end of the [same] epikarsion on the other side. These are the words of R. Joḥanan b. Nuri. R. Akiba says, eventually the epikarsion will rot and it will turn out that the bones of two corpses will be mixed up [which is forbidden]; [therefore], one should rather collect and place [the bones of] each one separately in a coffin of cedar wood. Said R. Eliezer b. Ẓadok, — thus said my father to me at the time of his death, — 'At first bury me in a depression and later [after the flesh is decomposed] collect my bones and place them in [a coffin] of cedar wood and do not collect them yourself, so that they do not become reprehensible to you'.
ט הַמְלַקֵט עֲצָמוֹת, וְהַמְשַׁמֵּר אֶת הַמֵּת, וְהַמּוֹלִיךְ אוֹתָם מִמָּקוֹם לְמָקוֹם, פָּטוּר מִקְרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּמִתְּפִלָה וּמֵהַתְּפִלִין, וּמִכָּל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה, בֵּין בְּחֹל בֵּין בְּשַׁבָּת, לֹא שְׁנָא עַצְמוֹת קְרוֹבִים לֹא שְׁנָא עַצְמוֹת רְחוֹקִים, בֵּין אִם הוּא בִּסְפִינָה אוֹ בַּדֶּרֶךְ, וַאֲפִלוּ אִם הֵם מְלַקְטִים רַבִּים. וְאִם רָצָה לְהַחְמִיר עַל עַצְמוֹ, לֹא יַחְמִיר, מִפְּנֵי כְּבוֹד עֲצָמוֹת.
9 One who collects bones [for final burial] and one who guards the corpse and the one who carries them from place to place is exempt from the reading of the Shema, from Tefillah, from Tefillin and from all religious duties enjoined in the Torah, both during a weekday as well as during the Sabbath, and there is no difference whether [these are] the bones of near-of-kin or of strangers, both if he is in a boat or on the road, even if the collectors [of the bones] are many. If one desires to place himself under greater stringencies [than the law requires] he should not do so out of deference [to the collected] bones.
י הַמּוֹלִיךְ עֲצָמוֹת מִמָּקוֹם לְמָקוֹם, הֲרֵי זֶה לֹא יִתְּנֵם בְּשַׂק אוֹ בְּדִסְקִיָּא וְיַנִּיחֵם עַל הַחֲמוֹר וְיִרְכַּב עֲלֵיהֶם, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁנּוֹהֵג בָּהֶם מִנְהַג בִּזָּיוֹן; אֲבָל אִם מַפְשִׁילוֹ לַאֲחוֹרָיו עַל הַחֲמוֹר, שַׁפִּיר דָּמֵי. וְאִם הָיָה מִתְיָרֵא מִפְּנֵי הַגַנָּבִים וְהַלִסְטִים, מֻתָּר. הַגָּה: וְהַחַי יִתֵּן אֶל לִבּוֹ דְּבָרִים שֶׁל מִיתָה; דְּיִסְפַּד, יִסְפְּדוּנֵהּ; דְּיִקְבַּר, יִקְבְּרוּנֵהּ; דְּיִטְעֹן, יַטְעִינֵהּ; דְּיִדַּל, יַדְלוּנֵהּ; וְגָדוֹל הַשָּׁלוֹם שֶׁנִּתַּן לַצַּדִּיקִים, שֶׁבְּשָׁעָה שֶׁהַצַּדִּיק נִפְטָר ג' כִּתּוֹת שֶׁל מַלְאָכִים נוֹתְנִים לוֹ שָׁלוֹם. (הַכֹּל בַּטּוּר וְהָרֹא"שׁ וְכָל בּוֹ) (וְאוֹמְרִים יָבֹא שָׁלוֹם כָּל הַכָּתוּב לַחַיִּים קָדוֹשׁ יֵאָמֶר לוֹ). בִּלַּע הַמָּוֶת לָנֶצַח וּמָחָה ה' אֱלֹהִים דִּמְעָה מֵעַל כָּל פָּנִים. (יְשַׁעְיָה כה, ח').
10 One who carries bones from place to place should not put them in a sack or saddle-bag and place them across [the back of] an ass and sit on them, because it is a disrespectful way of treating them; but if he throws it over his shoulder on the ass, it is all right. However, if he was afraid of robbers and rovers, it is permitted [to sit on them]. Rema: [ R. Meir used to say, it is written, 'It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting; for that is the end of all men ] and the living will lay it to heart', [ viz.,] matters pertaining to death; if one makes a lamentation, others will make a lamentation for him; if one helps at burial, others will bury him; if one carries [ the bier ], others will carry him; if one raises [ his voice in funereal lamentations ], others will raise [ their voice ] for him. Great is the peace that was given to the righteous, for when a righteous man departs [ this world ] three companies of ministering Angels extend to him a greeting of peace, and exclaim, 'He shall enter into peace'. ( And everyone that is written unto life shall be called holy). 'HE WILL SWALLOW UP DEATH FOR EVER; AND THE LORD GOD, WILL WIPE AWAY TEARS FROM OFF ALL FACES'.
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