Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer Siman 154

Siman 154

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א אֵלּוּ שֶׁכּוֹפִין אוֹתָם לְהוֹצִיא וְלִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה: מִי שֶׁנּוֹלַד לוֹ רֵיחַ הַפֶּה אוֹ רֵיחַ הַחֹטֶם, אוֹ שֶׁחָזַר לִהְיוֹת מְקַבֵּץ צוֹאַת כְּלָבִים אוֹ בּוּרְסְקִי, אוֹ לִהְיוֹת מְחַתֵּךְ נְחשֶׁת מֵעִקָּרוֹ. וְאִם רָצְתָה תֵּשֵׁב עִם בַּעְלָהּ. וְאִם יָדְעָה בָּהֶן קֹדֶם שֶׁנִשֵּׂאת, אֵין כּוֹפִין לְהוֹצִיא, דְּסָבְרָה וְקִבְּלָה (טוּר בְּשֵׁם הָרְמַ"ה). נַעֲשָׂה הָאִישׁ מֻכֶּה שְׁחִין, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא וְלִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה; וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהִיא רוֹצָה לֵישֵׁב עִמּוֹ, אוֹ שֶׁהִתְנָה עִמוֹ קֹדֶם שֶׁנְשָׂאָהּ, אֵין שׁוֹמְעִין לָהּ, אֶלָּא מַפְרִישִׁין אוֹתָם בְּעַל כָּרְחָם, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהִיא מְמִיקַתּוּ. וְאִם אָמְרָה: אֵשֵׁב עִמּוֹ בְּעֵדִים, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יָבֹא עָלַי, שׁוֹמְעִין לָהּ. הַגָּה: יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּמוּמָר כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ עַל יְדֵי כּוּתִים לְהוֹצִיא (ב"י סִימָן קל"ד בְּשֵׁם א"ח וּבְמָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק הַמְגָרֵשׁ), וּבִלְבַד שֶׁיְּבַטֵּל בִּשְׁעַת הַגֵּט (שָׁם בְּמָרְדְּכַי). וְיֵשׁ חוֹלְקִים וְאוֹמְרִים דְּאֵין כּוֹפִין לְמוּמָר אוֹ שְׁאָר עוֹבֵר עַל דָּת (תְּשׁוּבַת מור"ם), אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן פּוֹשֵׁעַ לָהּ, כְּגוֹן שֶׁמַאֲכִילָהּ דְּבַר אִסוּר (מהרי"ו סִימָן כ"ב), אוֹ שֶׁעָבַר עַל חֵרֶם שֶׁשִּׁעְבֵּד עַצְמוֹ נֶגְדָּהּ שֶׁלֹּא לְהַקְנִיטָהּ וְשֶׁלֹּא לְהַכּוֹתָהּ, אוֹ שֶׁנוֹדֵר וְאֵינוֹ מְקַיֵּם שֶׁבָּנָיו מֵתִים בַּעֲוֹן נְדָרִים (הַגָּהוֹת מַיְמוֹנִי סוֹף אִשּׁוּת). מִי שֶׁהוּא רוֹעֶה זוֹנוֹת וְאִשְׁתּוֹ קוֹבֶלֶת עָלָיו, אִם יֵשׁ עֵדוּת בַּדָּבָר, שֶׁרָאוּ אוֹתוֹ עִם מְנָאֲפִים אוֹ שֶׁהוֹדָה, יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁכּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא, אֲבָל מִשּׁוּם שֶׁמְבִיאִין לוֹ יְלָדִים כּוּתִים אֵין לָחוּשׁ, דִּלְמָא מְשַׁקְרִים עָלָיו (חִדּוּשֵׁי אֲגֻדָּה דִּיבָמוֹת):

1 These are the [reasons] we force him to divorce her and to give her the ketubah: One who develops bad breath of the mouth or nose, or goes back to become a collector of dog feces, or a tanner, or to a scraper of copper from its source [i.e. a miner]. If she wants, she can stay with her husband. Rema: And if she knew [about this problem] before she was married, we do not force him to divorce her, for she understood and accepted it (Tur in the name of the Ramah). If the man becomes afflicted with boils, we force him to divorce her and to give her the ketubah. Even if she wants to stay with him ( Rema: Or [even] if she stipulated [that she knew about this]) we don't listen to her, rather we make them separate against their will, for she exacerbates his condition [if they have sex]. And if she says, "I will stay with him with witnesses [about], so that he does not have sex with me [because they are around]," we listen to her. Rema: Some say that [if he becomes] an apostate, we force him to divorce her through non-Jews (Bet Yosef Siman 134 in the name of the O"Ch and the Mordechai Perek Hamegaresh), as long as he voids it at the time of the bill of divorce (ibid Mordechai). Some argue and say that we do not force an apostate [to divorce], or any transgressor against the faith (Teshuvat Mora"m), unless he makes her transgress, for example feeding her prohibited food (Mohry"V Siman 22), or he violates a promise that he made upon himself that he would not tease her or hit her, or he makes a promise and he does not fulfill it, for sons die [as a result] of sins of [violating] vows (Hagahot Maimoni end of Ishut). One who pimps prostitutes, and his wife complains about it, if there are witnesses, and they see him with adulterers or he admits, some say we force him to divorce her, but we do not suspect he caused the bringing of gentile children, for perhaps they are lying about him (Chiddushei Aggudah D'Yevamot).

ב מִי שֶׁהָיָה בַּעְלָהּ בַּעַל רֵיחַ הַפֶּה אוֹ רֵיחַ הַחֹטֶם, אוֹ מְלַקֵּט צוֹאַת כְּלָבִים וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהּ, וּמֵת וְנָפְלָה לִפְנֵי אָחִיו וְיֵשׁ בּוֹ אוֹתוֹ מוּם שֶׁהָיָה בְּבַעְלָהּ, יְכוֹלָה הִיא לוֹמַר: לְאָחִיךְ הָיִיתִי יְכוֹלָה לְקַבֵּל וּלְךְ אֵינִי יְכוֹלָה לְקַבֵּל, וְיַחֲלֹץ וְיִתֵּן לָהּ כְּתֻבָּה:

2 If a woman has a husband with bad breath of the mouth or nose, or he collected dog feces, or the like, and he died [childless, causing his wife to be obligated to fulfill the mitzvah of either yibbum or chalitzah]. If [the yavam] has the same blemish of his brother, she can say: "With your brother, I could accept this. With you, I am not willing to accept this." He does chalitzah and he gives her her ketubah[-worth].

ג הָאוֹמֵר: אֵינִי זָן וְאֵינִי מְפַרְנֵס, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לָזוּן. וְאִם אֵין בֵּית דִּין יְכוֹלִים לְכוֹפוֹ לָזוּן, כְּגוֹן שֶׁאֵין לוֹ בַּמֶּה לְפַרְנֵס וְאֵינוֹ רוֹצֶה לְהִשְׂתַּכֵּר לְהַרְוִיחַ וְלָזוּן, אִם תִּרְצֶה הִיא, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא מִיָּד וְלִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה. וְכֵן הַדִּין לְמִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ רוֹצֶה לְשַׁמֵּשׁ. הַגָּה: וְכֵן אִישׁ שֶׁרָגִיל לִכְעֹס וּלְהוֹצִיא אִשְׁתּוֹ מִבֵּיתוֹ תָּמִיד, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא, כִּי עַל יְדֵי זֶה אֵינוֹ זָנָהּ לִפְעָמִים וּפוֹרֵשׁ מִמֶנָה בְּתַשְׁמִישׁ יוֹתֵר מֵעוֹנָתָהּ וְהָוֵי כְּמוֹרֵד מִמְזוֹנוֹת וְתַשְׁמִישׁ (תְּשׁוּבַת הָרַשְׁבָּ"א סִימָן תרצ"ג). וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל סִימָן ע' וְסִימָן ע"ז. אִישׁ הַמַכֶּה אִשְׁתּוֹ, עֲבֵרָה הִיא בְּיָדוֹ כְּמַכֶּה חֲבֵרוֹ. וְאִם רָגִיל הוּא בְּכָךְ, יֵשׁ בְּיַד בֵּית דִּין לְיַסְּרוֹ וּלְהַחֲרִימוֹ וּלְהַלְקוֹתוֹ בְּכָל מִינֵי רִדּוּי וּכְפִיָּה, וּלְהַשְׁבִּיעוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יַעֲשֶׂה עוֹד, וְאִם אֵינוֹ צַיִּת לְדִבְרֵי הַבֵּית דִּין יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁכּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא, וּבִלְבַד שֶׁמַתְרִין בּוֹ תְּחִלָּה פַּעַם אַחַת אוֹ שְׁתַּיִם כִּי אֵינוֹ מִדֶּרֶךְ בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לְהַכּוֹת נְשׁוֹתֵיהֶם, וּמַעֲשֵׂה כּוּתִים הוּא. וְכָל זֶה כְּשֶׁהוּא מַתְחִיל, אֲבָל אִם מְקַלַּלְתּוֹ בְּחִנָם אוֹ מְזַלְזֶלֶת אָבִיו וְאִמוֹ, וְהוֹכִיחָהּ בִּדְבָרִים וְאֵינָהּ מַשְׁגַּחַת עָלָיו, יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּמֻתָּר לְהַכּוֹתָהּ, וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דַּאֲפִלּו אִשָּׁה רָעָה אָסוּר לְהַכּוֹתָהּ. וְהַסְּבָרָא רִאשׁוֹנָה הִיא עִקָר. וְאִם אֵינוֹ יָדוּעַ מִי הַגּוֹרֵם, אֵין הַבַּעַל נֶאֱמָן לוֹמַר שֶׁהִיא הַמַתְחֶלֶת, שֶׁכָּל הַנָשִׁים בְּחֶזְקַת כְּשֵׁרוֹת, וּמוֹשִׁיבִין בֵּינֵיהֶן אֲחֵרוֹת לִרְאוֹת בְּשֶׁל מִי הָרָעָה הַזֹאת, וְאִם הִיא מְקַלַּלְתּוֹ חִנָם, יוֹצֵאת בְּלֹא כְּתֻבָּה. וְנִרְאֶה לִי, דַּוְקָא בִּרְגִילָה בְּכָךְ, וְאַחַר הַהַתְרָאָה, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁנִתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סִימָן קט"ו. וְאִם הָלְכָה מִבֵּיתוֹ וְלָוְתָה וְאָכְלָה, אִם יָצְתָה מִכֹּחַ שֶׁהִכָּה אוֹתָהּ תָּמִיד, חַיָּב לְשַׁלֵּם (כָּל דִּבְרֵי הַגָּ"ה זוֹ תִּמְצָא בְּמָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק נַעֲרָה בְּשֵׁם מוהר"ם וב"ז סִימָן פ"ח), וּכְמוֹ שֶׁנִתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סִימָן ע':

3 If someones says, "I will not give food nor provide for [my wife]," we force him to give food. And if the court cannot force him to give food, such as one who doesn't have anything to provide and doesn't want to make money to become profitable and provide food [that way], if she wants, we force him to divorce her immediately and giver her her ketubah. The law is such to someone who does not want have sex. Rema: Similarly, a man who gets angry often and consistently kicks out his wife from his house, we force him to divorce her, for because of this he will not provide food for her sometimes, and he will separate from her from sexual relations more times than her rights to conjugal relations, and that is like refusal to provide food and sex [which are grounds for divorce] (Teshuvat HaRashba Siman 693). And see earlier Siman 70 and Siman 77. A man who hits his wife, has a transgression in his hand as much as striking his fellow. If he does this often, the court had the right to cause him pain and to excommunicate him, to whip him, to use all types of force, and to make him swear he will not do it again. And if he does not obey the court, some say we force him to divorce her, as long as he is warned one or twice, for it is not the way of Jews to hit their wives, that is the actions of the gentiles. This only applies when he starts it, but if she curses him for no reason, or mocks his father and mother, and she contradicts what he says and he has no authority over her, some say it is permitted to hit her. And some say that a bad wife is [also] prohibited to strike. The first opinion is the essential one. If it is not known who started it, the husband is not believed to say that she started it, for all women are assumed kosher, and they place others among them to see who is the bad one. And if she curses him for no reason, she is divorced without her ketubah. And it seems to me that this is only when this happens often, and after warning, as was explained earlier siman 115. If she left his house and borrowed [money] and ate [food], if she left because of him hitting her so often, he must pay her back (all of this note can be found in the Mordechai Perek Naara in the name of the Mohar"am and the B"Z Siman 88), and as is explained earlier Siman 70.

ד הָאִישׁ שֶׁנּוֹלְדוּ בּוֹ מוּמִין אַחַר שֶׁנָּשָׂא, אֲפִלּוּ נִקְטַעַת יָדוֹ אוֹ רַגְלוֹ, אוֹ נִסְמֵת עֵינוֹ, וְלֹא רָצְתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ לֵישֵׁב עִמּוֹ, אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא וְלִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה; אֶלָּא אִם רָצְתָה תֵּשֵׁב, וְאִם לֹא רָצְתָה, דִּינָהּ כְּדִין מוֹרֶדֶת. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּכָל זֶה בְּיָדוֹ אוֹ רַגְלוֹ אוֹ עֵינוֹ אַחַת, אֲבָל בְּב' יָדָיו וּב' עֵינָיו וּב' רַגְלָיו, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא (טוּר וְהָרֹא"שׁ):

4 man who becomes blemished after his marriage, even if his hand is amputated or his eyes become blinded, we don't force him to divorce his wife and give her her Ketubah; rather if she wants she can remain, and if not then her law is like a rebellious wife. Rema: There are those who say this law only applies if one of his hands or feet is amputated, or one eye is blinded, but in a case where he loses both, he must divorce his wife. (Tur and Rosh)

ה אִישׁ הַמִּשְׁתַּטֶּה מִידֵי יוֹם יוֹם, וְאוֹמֶרֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ: אָבִי מֵחֲמַת דָּחֲקוֹ הִשִּׂיאַנִי לוֹ וּסְבוּרָה הָיִיתִי לְקַבֵּל וְאִי אֶפְשִׁי כִּי הוּא מְטֹרָף וִירֵאָה אֲנִי פֶּן יַהַרְגֵנִי בְּכַעֲסוֹ, אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְגָרֵשׁ, שֶׁאֵין כּוֹפִין אֶלָּא בְּאוֹתָם שֶׁאָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים. הַגָּה: מִי שֶׁהוּא נִכְפֶּה, יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁאֵינוֹ מוּם וְאֵין כּוֹפִין עַל זֶה לְגָרֵשׁ. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ שֶׁתִּהְיֶה עִמוֹ, הוֹאִיל וּבָאתָה מֵחֲמַת טַעֲנָה (מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק הַמֵדִיר בְּשֵׁם ראבי"ה). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּהָוֵי מוּם בָּאִישׁ, וְכוֹפִין לְגָרֵשׁ (הָרֹא"שׁ כְּלָל מ"ב):

5 A man who behaves in an uncontrolled fashion (lit. as a "shoteh" - see note) on a daily basis, and his wife says, "My father, because of his downtrodden financial circumstances, married me to him, and I thought i could tolerate it, but it is impossible to me because he is crazy and I fear he will kill me in his anger," we do not force him to divorce, for we only force divorce in those cases listed by our sages. Rema: An epileptic, some say that it is not a blemish, and we do not force him to divorce. On the other hand, we do not force her to be with him, since she has a [reasonable] claim (Mordechai, chapter haMadir, in the name of Ra'aviya). Some say that it is a blemish in a man, and we force him to divorce (Rosh, rule 42).

ו הָאִשָּׁה שֶׁתּוֹבַעַת גֵּט בְּטַעֲנָה שֶׁאֵינָהּ רְאוּיָה לִבָּנוֹת מִמֶּנּוּ, אֵין שׁוֹמְעִין לָהּ. וְאִם טָעֲנָה שֶׁחֲפֵצָה לֵילֵד כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לָהּ בֵּן שֶׁתִּשָּׁעֵן עָלָיו, וְאֵין לָהּ כְּבָר שׁוּם בֵּן, וְאוֹמֶרֶת שֶׁהוּא גּוֹרֵם שֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹרֶה כַּחֵץ, אִם שָׁהֲתָה עִמּוֹ עֶשֶׂר שָׁנִים וְלֹא נִתְעַבְּרָה, וְאֵינָהּ תּוֹבַעַת כְּתֻבָּתָהּ כְּדֵי שֶׁנָּחוּשׁ שֶׁתּוֹבַעַת גֵּט כְּדֵי לִגְבּוֹת כְּתֻבָּתָהּ, וְגַם אֵין לִתְלוֹת תְּבִיעַת הַגֵּט בְּשׁוּם דָּבָר אַחֵר, שׁוֹמְעִין לָהּ, אֲפִלּוּ יֵשׁ לוֹ בָּנִים מֵאִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת, דְּשֶׁמָּא נִתְקַלְקֵל אַחַר כָּךְ, וְכוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא, וְיִתֵּן מָנֶה מָאתַיִם, אֲבָל לֹא תּוֹסֶפֶת, וְיִתֵּן נְדוּנְיָתָא מַה שֶּׁהִכְנִיסָה לוֹ. וְיֵשׁ לוֹ לְהַחֲרִים סְתָם עַל מַה שֶּׁטּוֹעֶנֶת דָּבָר שֶׁאֵינָהּ יוֹדַעַת בּוֹ בְּוַדַּאי, וְאַחַר כָּךְ יִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה. וְאִם אָמַר אֶשָּׂא אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת עָלֶיהָ וְאֶבְדֹק עַצְמִי, שׁוֹמְעִין לוֹ. וְאִם יָלְדָה הַשְּׁנִיָּה, תֵּצֵא הָרִאשׁוֹנָה בְּלֹא כְּתֻבָּה, וְאִם לָאו יוֹצִיא שְׁתֵּיהֶן וְיִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה, אוֹ יִשָּׂא שְׁלִישִׁית, אִם אֶפְשָׁר לֵהּ לְמֵיקַם בְּסִפּוּקַיְהוּ. וְיֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר, שֶׁאִם אָמְרָה גַּם הַשְּׁנִיָּה שֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹרֶה כַּחֵץ, יוֹצִיא שְׁתֵּיהֶן וְיִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה. וּבְכָל גַּוְנָא, אִם יָדוּעַ שֶׁהוּא עָקָר, וְהִיא בָּאָה מֵחֲמַת טַעֲנָה, יוֹצִיא מִיָּד. הַגָּה: וְהוּא הַדִּין אִם שָׁהָה י' שָׁנִים וְלֹא יָלְדָה, וּבָאָה מֵחֲמַת טַעֲנָה, שֶׁכּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא וְלִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה, וְהָתָם לֹא מְהַנֵי מַה שֶּׁאוֹמֵר: אֶבְדֹּק עַצְמִי וְאֶשָּׂא אַחֶרֶת, דְּמִכָּל מָקוֹם לֹא אִבְּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה כְּתֻבָּתָהּ, הוֹאִיל וְלֹא הֻחְזְקָה בְּג' אֲנָשִׁים. וְהָא דִּצְרִיכָה לִטְעֹן שֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹרֶה כַּחֵץ, הַיְנוּ שֶׁיָּדוּעַ שֶׁהָיוּ לוֹ כְּבָר בָּנִים, אָז תָּלִינָן בְּדִידַהּ אִם לֹא שֶׁטּוֹעֶנֶת שֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹרֶה כַּחֵץ, אוֹ בַּבַּעַל הַשְּׁלִישִׁי שֶׁכְּבָר הֻחְזְקָה כָּךְ נִרְאֶה סְבָרַת הַטּוּר וְהוּא מַסְקָנַת הַתוס' וְהָאֲשֵׁרִ"י:

6 If a woman demanded a divorce because she cannot produce children with this man we so not listen to her. If she demands a divorce because she want a son to lean on [in her old age], and she does not yet have any son, and she she says that he is the cause of the infertility because he cannot ejaculate with force, if she has lived with him for ten years and she ah not become pregnant, and she does not demand her Ketubah (such that we would have reason to suspect that she is only demanding to divorce to collect the Ketubah), and there is also no other reason that she might be demanding the divorce, we do listen to her, even if he has children from another woman, for perhaps his physical state deteriorated later. We force him to divorce her and give the primary 100 or 200 [of the Ketubah], but not any additions. He must also return the dowry that she brought into the marriage. He should issue a generic ban against the fact that she is making a claim without certain knowledge, and then he must giver her the Ketubah. If he said, "I will marry another woman and inspect myself," we listen to him. If the second woman becomes pregnant, the first is divorced without a Ketubah. If she does not [become pregnant], both women must be divorced and given their Ketubah, or he can marry a third woman, if he can afford to support them. Some authorities say that if the second woman also said that he cannot ejaculate with force, he must divorce both and give the Ketubah. In all cases, if it is known that he is sterile, and she comes with this demand, he must divorce immediately. Rema: The same applies if they were married for ten years with no children, and she comes with this claim, we then force him to divorce and give the Ketubah. In that case it will not help for him to say, "I will inspect myself with another woman," because the first will still not lose her Ketubah since she has not been inspected with three men [and found barren]. The rule that she must claim that he cannot ejaculate with force is only if we know that he already had children, for we then assume that [the infertility] is from her unless she makes the claim that he cannot ejaculate with force, or if this is her third husband such that it is already established [that she is infertile]. So appears to be the view of the Tur, and it is from the conclusions of the Tosafot and the Hagahot Ashri.

ז אִם טוֹעֶנֶת: אֵין לוֹ גְּבוּרַת אֲנָשִׁים לָבֹא עָלֶיהָ, וְשׁוֹאֶלֶת גֵּט, וְהוּא מַכְחִישָׁהּ, יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁהִיא נֶאֱמֶנֶת ואֲפִלּוּ לֹא שָׁהֲתָה י' שָׁנִים (טוּר), וְכוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא מִיָּד, וְלֹא יִתֵּן לָהּ כְּתֻבָּה. וְאִם מְגָרְשָׁהּ מֵעַצְמוֹ בְּלֹא כְּפִיָּה, יִתֵּן לָהּ כְּתֻבָּה. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁיָּכוֹל לִבְעֹל אַחֶרֶת, צָרִיךְ לִתֵּן לָזֹאת הַכְּתוּבָה; הוֹאִיל וְלֹא יָכוֹל לָבֹא עָלֶיהָ, יְכוֹלָה לוֹמַר: מָסַרְתִּי עַצְמִי לְךְ, וּמָה אֶעֱשֶׂה לְךְ יוֹתֵר (ב"י בְּשֵׁם א"ח). בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים, כְּשֶׁאֵינָהּ תּוֹבַעַת כְּתֻבָּתָהּ. אֲבָל אִם תּוֹבַעַת כְּתֻבָּתָהּ, אֵינָהּ נֶאֱמֶנֶת, וְאַף לְהוֹצִיא אֵין כּוֹפִין. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּבַזְמַן הַזֶה שֶׁיֵּשׁ נָשִׁים חֲצוּפוֹת, אֵינָהּ נֶאֱמֶנֶת (מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק עֲשָׂרָה יוֹחֲסִין). וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם, בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁיֵּשׁ אֲמַתְלָאוֹת וְאֻמְדָּנוּת שֶׁאוֹמֶרֶת אֱמֶת, נֶאֱמֶנֶת (מַהֲרִי"ק שֹׁרֶשׁ ע"ב). וְאִם יֵשׁ לִתְלוֹת שֶׁלֹּא יוּכַל לָבֹא עָלֶיהָ מִשּׁוּם שֶׁרַחְמָהּ צָר וְהִיא בְּתוּלָה, שֶׁלֹּא יוּכַל לָבֹא עָלֶיהָ מִכֹּחַ רַכּוּת שָׁנָיו וְחֻלְשָׁתוֹ, תּוֹלִין בָּזֶה וְאֵין כּוֹפִין לְהוֹצִיא (תְּשׁוּבַת הָריצְבָ"א סוֹף אִשּׁוּת). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דַּאֲפִלּוּ בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁאֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ, מִכָּל מָקוֹם אֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתָהּ לְהִתְפַּיֵּס עִמוֹ, וְאֵין דָּנִין אוֹתָהּ כְּדִין מוֹרֶדֶת, אֶלָּא מַאֲרִיכִין הַדָּבָר עַד שֶׁיִּתְפַּשְּׁרוּ אוֹ עַד שֶׁיִּשְׁהֶה עֶשֶׂר שָׁנִים וְלֹא תֵּלֵד (מַהֲרִי"ק שֹׁרֶשׁ קל"ה בְּב"י בְּשֵׁם הָרַשְׁבָּ"א). וְהוּא הַדִּין אִם קִדֵּשׁ אִשָּׁה וַאֲסוּרָה לְהִנָשֵׂא לוֹ וּלְאַחֵר, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא (תְּשׁוּבַת הָרֹא"שׁ כְּלָל מ"ג). אִם טוֹעֶנֶת שֶׁבַּעְלָהּ אֵינוֹ שׁוֹכֵב עִמָהּ וְאֵינוֹ בָּא עָלֶיהָ, דִּינָהּ כְּדִין טוֹעֶנֶת שֶׁאֵין לוֹ גְּבוּרַת אֲנָשִׁים:

7 If she says that he has erectile dysfunction and cannot have intercourse with her, and she requests a divorce, and he contradicts her, some authorities say that she is believed Rema: even if they have not been married for ten years, and we force him to divorce her immediately, though he does not hive her the Ketubah. If he divorced her without being coerced, he must give her the Ketubah. Rema: Some sauthorities say that even though he can have intercourse with another woman he still mist give this woman her Ketubah; since he cannot have intercourse with her she can say, "I have given myslef to you, what more can I do for you?" When is this the case? When she does not demand the Ketubah. If, however, she demands the Ketubah, she is not believed, and we do not even force him to divorce. Rema: Some authorities say that these days when some woman are impudent, she is not believed. Nevertheless, if there are reasons to suspect (or circumstantial evidence) that she is telling the truth, she is believed. If we suspect that he cannot have intercourse with her because she has a narrow womb and she is a virgin, or that he cannot have intercourse with her because he is aged or weak, we rely on this we do not force him to divorce her. Some authorities say that even in cases where we do not force him to divorce, we still do not force her to make peace with him, and we do not consider her to be a rebellious wife. Instead, we allow time to pass such that they either make peace or wait ten years without children. The same applies if he betrothed a woman and she may not marry him or another, he must divorce her. If she claims that he husband refuses to lie with her or have intercourse with her, it is judges as if she said he had erectile dysfunction.

ח אִם יָדוּעַ שֶׁהָאִישׁ רוֹצֶה לֵילֵךְ לְאֶרֶץ אַחֶרֶת, יַשְׁבִּיעוּהוּ שֶׁלֹּא יֵלֵךְ אוֹ יִכְפּוּהוּ שֶׁקֹּדֶם שֶׁיֵּלֵךְ יְגָרֵשׁ אוֹתָהּ לִזְמַן:

8 If it is known that a man intends to travel to another country, we make him take an oath that he will not go or we force him to issue a time bound divorce before he leaves.

ט אִם הַדָּבָר יָדוּעַ שֶׁאֵינוֹ רַשַּׁאי לַעֲמֹד בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁנְשָּׂאָה, מִפְּנֵי סַכָּנַת נְפָשׁוֹת, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְגָרְשָׁהּ, כִּי הִיא אֵינָהּ צְרִיכָה לָלֶכֶת אַחֲרָיו:

9 If it is known that he cannot stay in the place that he married because of some mortal danger, we force him to divorce Rema: because she does not need to go with him.

י נָשָׂא אִשָּׁה וְשָׁהֲתָה עִמּוֹ עֶשֶׂר שָׁנִים וְלֹא יָלְדָה, יוֹצִיא וְיִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה אוֹ יִשָּׂא אִשָּׁה הָרְאוּיָה לֵילֵד. וְאִם לֹא רָצָה, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ עַד שֶׁיּוֹצִיא. וְאִם אָמַר: אֵינִי בּוֹעֲלָהּ וַהֲרֵינִי שׁוֹכֵן עִמָּהּ בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא אֶתְיַחֵד עִמָּהּ, בֵּין שֶׁאָמְרָה הִיא בֵּין שֶׁאָמַר הוּא, אֵין שׁוֹמְעִין לוֹ, אֶלָּא יוֹצִיא וְיִשָּׂא אִשָּׁה הָרְאוּיָה לָלֶדֶת. הַגָּה: יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּכָל זֶה דְּלֹא הוֹלִיד כְּלָל, אֲבָל אִם הוֹלִיד זֶרַע קַיָּמָא, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁלֹּא קִיֵּם עֲדַיִן פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה, אֵין כּוֹפִין לְהוֹצִיא (רִיבָ"שׁ סִימָן ט"ו). וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל סִימָן א' דְּבַזְמַן הַזֶה אֵין נוֹהֲגִין לָכֹף כְּלָל. וְנֶאֱמָן הָאִישׁ לוֹמַר שֶׁיּוֹדֵעַ בְּעַצְמוֹ שֶׁאֵינוֹ מוֹלִיד, וְאֵין כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לִשָּׂא אִשָּׁה (נ"י פֶּרֶק הַבָּא עַל יְבִמְתּוֹ):

10 If a man married a woman and stayed with her for ten years and did not produce children, he must divorce her and give her Ketubah, or marry another woman who can bear children. If he is unwilling, we force him to divorce. If he said, "I will not have intercourse with her. I will live with her with witnesses so that I will not be secluded with her." Whether she said this, or he said it, we do not listen; instead we require him to divorce or marry a child bearing woman. Rema: Some authorities say that this is true if they had no children at all. If, however, she birthed a viable child, even though he has not yet fulfilled obligation to be fruitful, we do not force him to divorce her. See (Shulchan Arukh, Even HaEzer 1), that these days we never force a divorce. A man is believed to say that he knows himself to be sterile, and we do not force him to marry a woman.

יא הָלַךְ בִּסְחוֹרָה בְּתוֹךְ י' שָׁנִים, אוֹ שֶׁהָיָה הַבַּעַל חוֹלֶה, אוֹ שֶׁהָיְתָה הִיא חוֹלָה, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁמְשַׁמְשִׁים יַחַד, אוֹ שֶׁהָיוּ חֲבוּשִׁים בְּבֵית הָאֲסוּרִים, אֵין עוֹלִים לָהֶם אוֹתוֹ זְמַן מֵהַמִּנְיָן:

11 If he was away on business during the 10 years, or if the husband was ill, or she was ill... Rema: even though they continue to have relations - Mechaber... or they were locked in prison, that time does not count as part of the 10 years.

יב הִפִּילָה, מוֹנֶה מִיּוֹם שֶׁהִפִּילָהּ. אִם הִפִּילָה וְחָזְרָה וְהִפִּילָה שָׁלשׁ פְּעָמִים, הֻחְזְקָה לִנְפָלִים, וְיוֹצִיא וְיִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה; וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם מֻתֶּרֶת לִנָּשֵׂא לְאַחֵר:

12 If she miscarries, she counts [ten years of childlessness] from the date of miscarriage. If she miscarried, and miscarried again [a total of] three times, she has the status of a woman who [always[ miscarries; he divorces her and gives her ketuba monies. Nevertheless, she is permitted to marry another.

יג הוּא אוֹמֵר: הִפִּילָה בְּתוֹךְ עֶשֶׂר, כְּדֵי שֶׁתֵּשֵׁב עִמּוֹ; וְהִיא אוֹמֶרֶת: לֹא הִפַּלְתִּי, הִיא נֶאֱמֶנֶת:

13 He says, "She miscarried during the 10 years," so that she may stay with him, but she says, "I did not miscarry," she is believed.

יד הוּא אוֹמֵר: הִפִּילָה שְׁנַיִם, וְהִיא אוֹמֶרֶת: הִפַּלְתִּי ג', הִיא נֶאֻמֶנֶת:

14 He says, "She miscarried twice," and she says, "I miscarried 3 times," she is believed.

טו בְּכָל זֶה מַשְׁבִּיעָהּ (שְׁבוּעַת) הֶסֵת שֶׁלֹּא הִפִּילָה, אוֹ שֶׁהִפִּילָה ג', שֶׁבְּטַעֲנָה זוֹ יִתְחַיֵּב לִתֵּן לָהּ כְּתֻבָּה:

15 In all of these matters, he may force her to swear a "heset" oath (Rabbinic type oath) that she did not miscarry or that she miscarried three times, for these claims affect whether he must pay her ketuba.

טז שָׁהָה עִם אִשְׁתּוֹ עֶשֶׂר שָׁנִים וְלֹא יָלְדָה, וְהוֹצִיאָהּ, מֻתֶּרֶת לְהִנָּשֵׂא עִם הַשֵּׁנִי. שָׁהֲתָה עִם הַשֵּׁנִי עֶשֶׂר שָׁנִים וְלֹא יָלְדָה, דִּינָהּ עִמּוֹ כְּדִינָהּ עִם הָרִאשׁוֹן:

16 If he remains with his wife for ten years and she does not give birth, and he dismisses her(divorce), she is permitted to marry a second man. If she remains with the second man for ten years and does not give birth, he ruling with him is the same as her ruling with the first.

יז גֵּרְשָׁהּ, לֹא תִּנָּשֵׂא לִשְׁלִישִׁי. וְאִם נִשֵּׂאת לִשְׁלִישִׁי, תֵּצֵא שֶׁלֹּא בִּכְתֻבָּה; אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן יֵשׁ לוֹ אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת, אוֹ שֶׁקִּיֵּם מִצְוַת פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה. וְאִם הִכִּיר בָּהּ, יֵשׁ לָהּ כְּתֻבָּה:

17 (if) he divorced her, she should not remarry a third. If she remarries a third man, she goes out without her Ketubah(receiving her due). Unless he has another wife, or if he already has fulfilled the commandment of "being fruitful and multiplying." But if he is aware of her(barrenness), she does receiver her Ketubah(money).

יח שָׁהֲתָה עִם הַשְּׁלִישִׁי עֶשֶׂר שָׁנִים וְלֹא יָלְדָה, אִם לֹא גָּבְתָה כְּתֻבָּה מֵהָרִאשׁוֹנִים, לֹא תִּגְבֶּה. וְאִם גָּבְתָה, לֹא תַּחֲזִיר:

18 If she remains with the third husband for ten years and does not give birth, if she still hasn't collected her Ketubah money from the first husbands, she does not collect. And if she did collect, she does not need to return it.

יט הוֹצִיאָהּ הַשְּׁלִישִׁי בְּלֹא כְּתֻבָּה, וְנִשֵּׂאת לִרְבִיעִי וְיָלְדָה, אֵינָהּ יְכוֹלָה לִגְבּוֹת כְּתֻבָּה מֵהַשְּׁלִישִׁי, דְּשֶׁמָּא עַתָּה נִתְרַפְּאָה:

19 If the third husband dismisses her without the Ketubah(does not give her money), and she marries a fourth man and gives birth, she cannot collect now from the third money, because now maybe she has been healed.

כ כָּל הַנּוֹשֵׂא אִשָּׁה בַּעֲבֵרָה, אֲפִלּוּ בְּאִסוּר דְּרַבָּנָן כְּגוֹן שְׁנִיּוֹת, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לְהוֹצִיא:

20 Anybody who marries a woman by way of sexual immorality, even if it was only a rabbinicaly mandated prohibition, such as intermarriage, we force him to dismiss her.

כא כָּל אֵלּוּ שֶׁאָמְרוּ לְהוֹצִיא, כּוֹפִין אֲפִלּוּ בְּשׁוֹטִים. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁכָּל מִי שֶׁלֹּא נֶאֱמַר בּוֹ בַּתַּלְמוּד בְּפֵרוּשׁ כּוֹפִין לְהוֹצִיא, אֶלָּא יוֹצִיא בִּלְבַד, אֵין כּוֹפִין בְּשׁוֹטִים אֶלָּא אוֹמְרִים לוֹ: חֲכָמִים חִיְּבוּךְ לְהוֹצִיא, וְאִם לֹא תּוֹצִיא מֻתָּר לִקְרוֹתְךְ עֲבַרְיָן. הַגָּה: וְכֵיוָן דְּאִכָּא פְּלוּגְתָא דְּרַבְּוָתָא, רָאוּי לְהַחֲמִיר שֶׁלֹּא לָכוֹף בְּשׁוֹטִים, שֶׁלֹּא יְהֵא הַגֵּט מְעֻשֶּׂה (טוּר בְּשֵׁם הָרֹא"שׁ). אֲבָל אִם יֵשׁ לוֹ אִשָּׁה בַּעֲבֵרָה, לְכֻלֵּי עָלְמָא כּוֹפִין בְּשׁוֹטִים. וְכָל מָקוֹם שֶׁאֵין כּוֹפִין בְּשׁוֹטִים, אֵין מְנַדִּין אוֹתוֹ גַּם כֵּן (מָרְדְּכַי רֵישׁ הַמֵדִיר). וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם יְכוֹלִין לִגְזֹר עַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁלֹּא לַעֲשׂוֹת לוֹ שׁוּם טוֹבָה אוֹ לִשָּׂא וְלִתֵּן עִמוֹ (שם בְּשֵׁם ר"ת וּבַמַהֲרִי"ק קל"ה), אוֹ לָמוּל בָּנָיו אוֹ לְקָבְרָם, עַד שֶׁיְּגָרֵשׁ (בִּנְיָמִן זְאֵב פ"ח). וּבְכָל חֻמְרָא שֶׁיִּרְצוּ בֵּית דִּין יְכוֹלִין לְהַחֲמִיר בִּכְהַאי גַּוְנָא, וּמִלְּבַד שֶׁלֹּא יְנַדּוּ אוֹתוֹ. אֲבָל מִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְקַיֵּם עוֹנָה, יְכוֹלִין לְנַדּוֹתוֹ וּלְהַחֲרִימוֹ שֶׁיְּקַיֵּם עוֹנָה אוֹ שֶׁיְּגָרֵשׁ, כִּי אֵין זֶה כְּפִיָּה רַק לְקַיֵּם עוֹנָתוֹ, וְכֵן כָּל כַּיּוֹצֵא בָּזֶה (רִיבָ"שׁ סִימָן קכ"ז). וְכֵן מִי שֶׁגֵּרַשׁ אִשְׁתּוֹ בְּגֵט כָּשֵׁר, וְיָצָא קְצָת לַעַז עַל הַגֵּט, מֻתָּר לְכוֹפוֹ לָתֵת גֵּט אַחֵר. וּבְכָל מָקוֹם דְּאִכָּא פְּלוּגְתָא אִם כּוֹפִין אוֹ לֹא, אַף עַל גַּב דְּאֵין כּוֹפִין לְגָרֵשׁ, מִכָּל מָקוֹם כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לִתֵּן כְּתֻבָּה מִיָּד, וְכֵן הַנְדוּנְיָא דְּאַנְעַלַת לֵהּ (מָרְדְּכַי רֵישׁ הַמֵדִיר):

21 All of these (cases) in which they said he must divorce her, we force him, even with whips. And there are those that say that anyone about whom it was not mandated explicitly in the Talmud that we force him to divorce her, rather only that he should divorce her, we don't force him with whips, rather, we say to him: the sages obligated you to divorce and if you don't, it is permitted to call you a transgressor. Rem''a: And since there is a disagreement of many, it is fitting to be stringent and not force him with whips, in order that there won't be a bill of divorce given under duress. But if he has a wife through sexual immorality, according to everyone, we do force with whips. And in every situation where we do not force with whips, we also do not excommunicate him. And in any case, they can decree on any Jew to not do any kind deeds to him or do any business with him, to circumcise his sons or to bury them until he divorces (her). And any stringency which a Beit Din wants to enact, they can in this type of case, so long as they don't excommunicate him. But one who does not perform his marital duties, we can excommunicate him and banish him in order that he perform this duty or divorce her, because there is no forcing when it comes to marital relations, and so too in similar cases. And so too he who divorces with a kosher bill of divorce and he discredits it a bit, it is permissible to force him to give another bill of divorce. And any situation where we have a disagreement about whether or not to force him, despite the fact that we don't force him to divorce, in any case, we force him to give the value of the bill of marriage immediately, and so too the value of the wedding equipment that he provides for her.

כב צָרִיךְ לְהָטִיל חֵרֶם עַל כָּל הָעוֹמְדִים בִּשְׁעַת נְתִינַת הַגֵּט, שֶׁלֹּא לְהוֹצִיא לַעַז עַל הַגֵּט. וּמַזְכִּירִין שֶׁרַבֵּנוּ תָּם גָּזַר בִּכְנוּפְיָא עִם תַּלְמִידָיו עַל מִי שֶׁמוֹצִיא לַעַז עַל הַגֵּט הַנִתַּן:

22 We must place a herem on anyone who is present at the time when the get is given, that they should not say anything detrimental about the get. And we remind them that Rabbenu Tam decreed together with his students against anyone who said anything detrimental about a get that had already been given.

כג אִם נִשְׁבַּע הַבַּעַל לִתֵּן גֵּט, טוֹב שֶׁיַּתִּירוּ לוֹ קֹדֶם, שֶׁלֹּא יְהֵא דּוֹמֶה לְאֹנֶס; אַךְ עֵרָבוֹן יִתֵּן, אִם יִרְצֶה. הַגָּה: וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל סִימָן קל"ד סָעִיף ד'. וּבְגֵט מוּמָר אֵין צְרִיכִין לִשְׁאֹל אִם נִשְׁבַּע אוֹ נָדַר, מֵאַחַר דְּצָרִיךְ לְגָרֵשׁ מִדִּינָא; אַךְ שׁוֹאֲלִין אוֹתוֹ אִם מְגָרֵשׁ בְּרָצוֹן, וְכֵן שׁוֹאֲלִין לְאִשְׁתּוֹ:

23 If the husband was sworn to give a divorce document, it is best that they release him [from the vow] before [writing the divorce document] so that it not appear to be under duress. But he may give a pledge if he wishes. Rema: See above ch. 134:4. But regarding the divorce document of an apostate, there is no need to ask whether he swore or vowed, since he is legally required to divorce; but they ask him whether he is divorcing of his own free will, and likewise they ask his wife.

כד מִי שֶׁקִּבֵּל עָלָיו נְזִירוּת שִׁמְשׁוֹן לְגָרֵשׁ אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ, מֻתָּר לְגָרֵשׁ, וְאֵין בּוֹ מִשּׁוּם מְגָרֵשׁ בְּאֹנֶס. וְטוֹב לְגָרְשָׁהּ בִּשְׁנֵי גִּטִּין, וְיִתְּנֵם לָהּ זֶה אַחַר זֶה:

24 Someone who accepted upon himself the nazirite vow of Samson to divorce his wife, it is permitted to divorce, and this is not a problem of divorcing under duress. And it is best to divorce her with two divorce document, and to give them to her one after the other.

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