Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer Siman 56

Siman 56

Presented here for study, not as a practical ruling. The Shulchan Aruch rules by Sephardi custom, the Rema's glosses by Ashkenazi custom, and the Kitzur follows Ashkenazi custom. For a practical question, ask your rabbi.

א הַמְאָרֵס אִשָּׁה, וְשָׁהָה כַּמָּה שָׁנִים, וּתְבָעָהּ לְנִשּׂוּאִין וַהֲרֵי הִיא נַעֲרָה, נוֹתְנִים לָהּ שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ מִיּוֹם הַתְּבִיעָה לְפַרְנֵס אֶת עַצְמָהּ וּלְתַקֵּן מַה שֶּׁהִיא צְרִיכָה לָהּ, וְאַחַר כָּךְ תִּנָּשֵּׂא. תְּבָעָהּ אַחַר שֶׁבָּגְרָה, נוֹתְנִים לָהּ שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ מִיּוֹם הַבֶּגֶר. וְכֵן אִם קִדְּשָׁהּ בְּיוֹם הַבֶּגֶר, נוֹתְנִין לָהּ שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ מִיּוֹם הַקִּדּוּשִׁין, שֶׁהוּא הַבֶּגֶר. קִדְּשָׁהּ אַחַר שֶׁבָּגְרָה, אִם עָבְרוּ עָלֶיהָ שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ בְּבַגְרוּתָהּ וְאַחַר כָּךְ נִתְקַדְּשָׁה, אֵין נוֹתְנִין לָהּ אֶלָּא שְׁלשִׁים יוֹם מִיּוֹם הַתְּבִיעָה. וְכֵן הַמְאָרֵס אֶת הַבְּעוּלָה, נוֹתְנִין לָהּ שְׁלשִׁים יוֹם מִיּוֹם הַתְּבִיעָה:

1 One who gets engaged to a woman and then waits a couple years and then tries to claim his marriage rights and finds the woman still as a girl(between 12 and 12.5), we give her 12 months from from the day of the fiance's claim to sustain herself(monetarily) and to tend to what she needs to tend to. Afterward, she can get married. If he claims her after puberty, we give her 12 months from the onset of her puberty process. And if he marries her on the day of her puberty process, we give her 12 months from the day of the wedding as that is the day of the puberty processing. If he marries her after she goes through puberty, if she has already gone through 12 months since then and afterwards, she is married, we only give her 30 days from the day of the husband's claim to her. And so too one one who gets engaged to a non-virgin, we give her 30 days from the time of her being claimed.

ב כְּשֵׁם שֶׁנּוֹתְנִין זְמַן לָאִשָּׁה מִשֶּׁתְּבָעָהּ הַבַּעַל לְפַרְנֵס אֶת עַצְמָהּ, כָּךְ נוֹתְנִין זְמַן לָאִישׁ לְפַרְנֵס אֶת עַצְמוֹ מִשֶּׁתָּבְעָה הָאִשָּׁה אוֹתוֹ; וְכַמָּה זְמַן נוֹתְנִין, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנּוֹתְנִין לָהּ, אִם שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ, וְאִם שְׁלשִׁים יוֹם שְׁלשִׁים יוֹם:

2 Just as we give time to the woman from when the man claims her to financially sustain herself, so too we give time to the man from when the woman claims him. How much time do we give him? The same as we give her. If it's 12 months (for her), then it's 12 months. If it's 30 days, then it's 30 days.

ג הִגִּיעַ זְמַן שֶׁנָּתְנוּ לָאִישׁ וְלֹא נְשָׂאָה, נִתְחַיֵּב בִּמְזוֹנוֹתֶיהָ אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁלֹּא כָּנַס. וְאִם עִכְּבוֹ אֹנֶס, כְּגוֹן שֶׁחָלָה הוּא אוֹ הִיא, אוֹ שֶׁפֵּרְסָה נִדָּה, אוֹ שֶׁהִגִּיעַ זְמַן בְּאֶחָד בַּשַּׁבָּת שֶׁאֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לִכְנֹס, אֵינוֹ חַיָּב לְזוּנָהּ. הַגָּה: וְדַוְקָא שֶׁחָלָה תּוֹךְ הַזְּמַן, אֲבָל הִגִּיעַ הַזְּמַן וְלֹא כְּנָסָהּ, וְאַחַר כָּךְ חָלָה, חַיָּב בִּמְזוֹנוֹתֶיהָ אַף עַל גַּב דְּהַשְׁתָּא הוּא אֹנֶס (מָרְדְּכַי רֵישׁ כְּתֻבּוֹת וּבְפֶרֶק הַחוֹלֵץ סי' ל"ב):

3 If the prescribed time for either the man or the woman [to marry] arrives, he must provide for her food even though he did not yet marry her. If some uncontrollable circumstances prevent him from [marrying], such as his or her illness, or she menstruated, or the time coincided with a Sunday when he is unable to wed, he is not obligated to provide her food. Rema: This is true only if the illness began during the allotted time period. If, however, the time came and he did not marry her, and then he fell ill, he must provide for her food even it is now uncontrollable circumstances.

ד הַמְאָרֵס אֶת בִּתּוֹ קְטַנָּה, וּתְבָעָהּ הַבַּעַל לְנִשּׂוּאִין, בֵּין הִיא בֵּין אָבִיהָ יְכוֹלִין לְעַכֵּב שֶׁלֹּא תִּנָּשֵּׂא עַד שֶׁתַּגְדִּיל וְתֵעָשֶׂה נַעֲרָה; וְאִם רָצָה לִכְנֹס, כּוֹנֵס, וְאֵין רָאוּי לַעֲשׂוֹת כֵּן. הַגָּה: וְאִם הִיא וּבַעֲלָהּ מִתְרַצִּים לִכְנֹס, וְהָאָב מֵת, אֵין הַקְּרוֹבִים יְכוֹלִים לִמְחוֹת, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהִיא חוֹלָנִית וְהוּא מְמַהֵר לִכְנֹס כְּדֵי לְיָרְשָׁהּ (מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק הָאִישׁ מְקַדֵּשׁ):

4 Someone who betroths his minor daughter, and her fiancee wants to complete the marriage, both the daughter or her father can prevent her from marrying until she becomes an adult (age); if she wants to enter marriage, she may enter, but it is inappropriate to do so. "Rem"a": If she and her fiancee want to marry, and her father dies, her relatives may not protest (their marriage), even though she is sickly and he wants to get married quickly in order to be able to inherit her (if she dies) (Mordekhai, Perek HaIsh Mekadesh)

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